


The oldest profession in the world

by Maerchenmord



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Eren Yeager, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), But also, College Student Eren Yeager, Divorce, I'm totally overdoing it, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Infidelity, It's not working so well though, Levi has anger issues, Levi is married to Petra, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Prostitute Eren Yeager, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Seems like this is a crime show now, Stalking, Switching, Top Eren Yeager, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), and probably a midlife crisis, brief domestic violence, the tags make it sound worse than it is, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-03-24 20:19:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 60,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13818684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maerchenmord/pseuds/Maerchenmord
Summary: The brat grins – fucking grins like he just heard the funniest joke in existence – and plants his ass next to him on the small bench, that Levi currently occupies.“Want me to distract you a little?”, he flicks some ash off his cigarette. “50 bucks. I can give you a good time, you know?”Levi didn't exactly have the worst day of his life, because life has been so utterly horrible lately, that it's hard to tell which day is going to win the price. That doesn't change the fact, that he's wet and dirty and pissed and really,reallynot in the mood for some dipshit, who is trying to sell his ass to him on a bus stop after the umpteenth fight with his wife this week.





	1. The bus stop

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello - this is my very first fanfiction after reading huge amounts of incredibly awesome literature on this website.  
> Time to give something back! :D
> 
> A few things I want to mention...  
> \- English is not my native language. I learned it in school, watched English movies, I read in English... Which is why I deeply apologize if I butcher it but I really tried. Feel free to correct me any time <3  
> \- I am German and I've seen tons of fanfics giving Eren a German heritage and him speaking German, so if you ever need someone to translate or correct something for you, don't be shy, I am happy to help!  
> \- I know, this may not be the most original concept but I kind of just got inspired, you know? I hope it's a nice read in the long run, even if I'm not going to reinvent the wheel.  
> \- I am not 100% sure where I will be going with this fix but it's not going to end in action, drugs and violence. It's more of a slice of life drama thing - obviously with a happy end because I dig that :D
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoy the first chapter, let me know what you think and thanks for reading :)

Levi tries to remember the last time he felt so utterly filthy, while he makes a pathetic attempt to brush some of the dirt off, that clings to his coat, his pants, to every fucking nook and cranny of his body. Obviously to no avail, because the car that passed him mere moments ago, while he was sitting on the bus stop, showered him thoroughly from top to bottom, when it went through a puddle on the ground next to him. It’s not like he can blame the driver for the shitty weather or the wet dirt that came flying to his face with the remnants of rain water to make its home on his perfectly clean suit. But god damned, he wishes he could.

Unfortunately he’s an adult. A damn pissed adult, but an adult nonetheless and he knows all to well, that he brought the situation upon himself with his stupid anger and his stupid stubbornness and his stupid pride that prevented him to go back inside his house and grab the keys for his car. Instead he had left through the small garden in front of their home, after yelling at Petra and slamming the door, with a fierce determination to not turn back, even if it meant to take the bus to god knows where.  
Maybe Hanji, or maybe a hotel, because he couldn’t imagine himself in her dumpster of a living room.  
Well, plans may change now, since he doesn’t only need a shower but a washing machine as well, after the little mishap, that left him looking like a drowned poodle.

When he makes out the faint sound of footsteps stopping close to him under the roof of the bus stop, he doesn’t pay attention, because he is already too occupied asking himself why he didn’t think of calling a fucking taxi.  
That is, until he hears a male voice politely asking him for a lighter.  
“Yeah…”, he murmurs, patting the pockets of his coat for the item in question, before he regards the man and hands it over.  
Nice young guy with a pleasant smile. He has that good neighbor kid aura going on and Levi can’t help to think, that he really shouldn’t be smoking. That shit is only going to dull his eyes and crack his perfectly healthy skin with ugly wrinkles in a few years. Not that he’s one to talk, with his life long addiction to the cancer sticks.

“Bad day?” The lighter is handed back, and the kid takes a drag from his cigarette, while he looks over Levi’s very obvious, very disheveled appearance. At least he doesn’t point out the resting bitch face that accompanies the ruined outfit.  
“Fucking best day of my life.”, is all he can force through his lips as an answer, before he pockets the lighter and rubs one of his eyes with the palm of his hand.  
The brat grins – fucking grins like he just heard the funniest joke in existence – and plants his ass next to him on the small bench, that Levi currently occupies.  
“Want me to distract you a little?”, he flicks some ash off his cigarette. “50 bucks. I can give you a good time, you know?”  
Levi is about to decline politely and shake his head. He doesn’t want to talk about shit, do shit or buy shit, but then he realizes what the man said and something in his head clicks loudly in place, turning the reluctant willingness for small talk into disgusted rejection of the mere thought of continuing the conversation, within milliseconds.  
That doesn’t stop him from snapping his head around and spitting a “What the fuck?” at the man, though.

Regrettably the kid doesn’t seem all too fazed by Levi’s deathly glare and shrugs indifferent, which prompts him to jump to his feet, uncertain if he wants to yell at the boy or give him a good beating.  
“Listen you little shit! –“  
“Alright, alright, don’t get your panties twisted!” The remains of the cigarette end in the puddle, the god damn fucking _puddle_ , that showered Levi like the Niagara falls and the guy grins at him with indifference. And Levi is seething and if he had the time to observe himself he would most likely conclude that his face is red from anger and twisted as if he didn’t have a shit in days but the kid yields immediately.  
“I’m sorry, okay?” He has his hands raised in surrender as if he actually believes that Levi would introduce a fist to his face and it takes the wind out of his sails when he sees the half apologetic, half defeated expression on the brats face.  
“I didn’t mean to offend you.”, is what Levi can pick up from the low murmur of the boy, that follows and it makes his shoulders sag a little because he realizes that this is the exact same shit he always pulls. The shit that basically consists of him freaking out over nothing and communicating in a way that makes other people feel invalidated. The shit that caused Petra to throw a fucking dish after him, so that he ended up sitting at a bus stop drenched in water and filth and anger.

There isn’t anything wrong with the kid being gay or with him trying to sell his goods to someone if that’s what he wants to do. What’s wrong is Levi’s immediate choleric reaction – as usual – and it makes him feel like a dick – as usual. What’s wrong is, that he reacted in a way that makes the guy believe he finds it _offensive_ to be considered homosexual and it drains all the anger right from him, because he doesn’t want to be that kind of person. Not really.

So he apologizes with a low “Sorry.” instead of keeping his bullshit up and slumps down on the bench again, only to receive a surprised look from the brat, who is obviously unaware of Levi’s deep epiphany and most likely used to being told to fuck off. That doesn’t stop Levi from feeling like a colossal douchebag, because he knows that he tells people to fuck off all the time for all the wrong reasons. That he tells Petra to fuck off only because she asks him what he thinks about her new haircut or the couch she wants to buy. That he tells his colleagues to fuck off, just because they can’t get a god damn Earl Grey right. That he tells the kid to fuck off, just because he’s trying to get some bills out of him. Lately, being angry is his default setting for every negative situation instead of a normal display of emotions, be it disinterest, disbelieve, disgust or refusal. He rather gets pissed and yells like a child, throwing a temper tantrum with no goddamn purpose and the only reason that he doesn’t keep going right now and stomps off, like he did earlier with Petra, is that he already had his fair share of explosive wrath today and spent an hour at this horribly rundown bus stop to reflect on it.

It’s not hard to figure out, that his anger management issues result from a certain unhappiness with his life in general, but it’s incredibly hard to figure out what to change, where to start, what to keep and what to let go.

“Uh… I’m Eren.”  
Right. He’s sitting at a bus stop with a male whore, drenched in dirt and water, after another useless and completely avoidable fight with his wife, who’s most likely crying her eyes out at home. Because he hurt her. Because he couldn’t just say “Yes, that dress looks nice.” but had to answer with something along the lines of “Looking at your wardrobe is like stepping into Narnia, why do you keep buying shit?”.  
“Levi.”  
He casts a look at the young man. Doesn’t give the impression of a whore, more like a college student and he can’t help to think, that a prostitute should look more shabby and dirty and not like a next-door kid in his early twenties. The boy is well groomed. Wrinkle-free clothes, spotless skin, short, clean fingernails, the only exception being the sort of chaotic mop of brown hair. Looks fluffy and freshly washed though.

“Sorry again Levi, let me make it up to you. Want to grab a drink? You look like you need one.”  
He smiles and it’s obvious that he isn’t some timid kid, but rather bold and friendly and he has some balls to invite a grouchy man who yelled at him 30 seconds ago. Levi can’t figure out for the life of him, why he would invite him for a drink after what just happened. Or why anyone would invite anyone for a drink that they met barely two minutes ago for that matter. What he does know, is that he should go home. He really should. He should get his ass up and walk back and try to apologize and fix his train wreck of a marriage. He should shower and get into clean clothes, because the wet piece of shit he is wearing makes his skin crawl and he should most definitely not grab drinks with a guy who was trying to crawl into bed with him for money. But he doesn’t want to. What he wants is to drown his sorrow with a stranger who is in no position to judge him and isn’t going to ever cross paths with him again and the prospect of lamenting about his life and his marriage and his anger issues while getting shit faced is just too alluring. And why it is, he can’t figure out either, because it’s just as unreasonable as Eren inviting a stranger for drinks in the first place.

“I’m not going to fuck you.”, he states and Eren laughs and it’s loud and happy and likeable and makes you believe that he’s the perfect kind of guy to have a few beers with and rant about your day.  
“Yeah, kinda figured that out already.”, is all he says, before he gets up and vaguely nods his head in one direction down the street.  
“There’s a bar, two blocks from here.” A mischievous smile splits his face and it’s smug and makes it obvious that he’s way too pleased with whatever words or joke he is going to add next. “No prostitutes there either, you have my word!”  
Levi rolls his eyes and lifts himself from the bench. He looks like crap but if it doesn’t stop Eren from accompanying him, it’s safe to assume, that it won’t stop the waiters in the bar from serving him either.

 

~~~

 

Eren is nice. He is bright and happy and open and everything that Levi isn’t. He is also way to good in holding his liquor and the mere thought of how he will feel tomorrow makes his already spinning head rotate like a disco ball.

“Can’t believe I’m doing this…” He groans and downs the Tequila shot, asking himself why he is drinking this shit in the first place, because Levi doesn’t do Tequila. He drinks Whiskey if anything and certainly doesn’t empty the glass in one go, or five glasses, or seven in what can only be two or three hours since they entered this joint. He also doesn’t grab drinks with strangers that he meets on a bus stop, especially not after exchanging less than ten sentences with them, but here he is, doing all the things that are _so not_ Levi and he can’t shake the feeling that he might enter his midlife crisis right about now.

Eren laughs, long done with his own shot and gives Levi a sympathetic pat on the back from his chair next to him at the bar. “Giving up old man?” “In your dreams.”, is what he answers and “Fucking brats these days.”, is what he mumbles to himself.

Their conversation has been abandoned a while ago, to make place for senseless drinking and crude shit jokes, but they had gathered enough about each other to know, that this whole endeavor was just as ridiculous as it looked from the outside.  
Eren was young with his 19 years. God damn fucking young to be precise and Levi, long past his 35th birthday two years ago, really wasn’t.  
Eren was studying and Levi had worked at the same company for more years than all of Eren’s years of education combined.  
Eren had a shit ton of friends – one of them currently refilling their shot glasses from behind the counter, going by the name Armin – while Levi could count the people in his life, that he could stand on a good day, on one hand.  
Eren had a family, consisting of the classical protective sister, the loving mother and the overly strict father and Levi… Well, Levi was currently ruining the only prospect he ever had for a family with a gentle, neglected redhead that was most likely waiting for his return in their perfectly decorated house with the perfectly tended garden next to their perfectly nice neighboring households.

He isn’t sure if it is the Tequila, or the thought of his home, that makes his guts churn. Whatever the case, he gets along with Eren and doesn’t feel miserable for once, aside from the obvious alcohol poisoning. Lucky enough, he is under strict surveillance by Armin, who sends questioning looks in Eren’s direction every now and then and puts glasses of water for Levi to drink in front of him every other shot.

He feels thoroughly drunk and without a care in the world and after the obligatory introduction part and the not so obligatory part of getting smashed, he can’t stop himself from being the insensitive inquisitor, that he always is when he makes it past the first hour of talking with someone. Not that it happens a lot, the people he has talked with for more than an hour are as rare as rainbow shitting unicorns.  
“So, prostitution, hm?”, he rubs his neck and strokes some of his hair out of his face, before he tries to capture Erens green eyes with his blurry vision. The boy shrugs and plays with his shot glass, tipping it to one direction, then the other, without spilling its content.  
“Changed your mind? 100 bucks.”  
“Didn’t you say 50 earlier?”, is Levi’s immediate reply, before his alcohol induced brain jumps into action and he makes a dismissive gesture with his hand, because Eren is already wearing that shit eating grin again.  
“Not what I meant.” By now it takes way more concentration than it should, to find the right words. “Didn’t change my mind.”  
Eren’s smile doesn’t falter and he winks dramatically “Really too bad.”.  
“Why doing that though?” and Eren just shrugs again.  
“Pays the bills, you know? There is no sad story for you to dig up. I have a nice family, nice friends, I’m not in debt, there is no pimp, no cocaine, no human trafficking. I decided to do it, to earn some cash, end of story.” He downs his shot and gives Levi a pointed look, to do the same but Levi is still hanging on the water glass for his dear life and tries his best to delay the inevitable intoxication with more small talk.  
“Who knows about it?” Erens long fingers play with the glass for a moment, before he puts it down head first on the counter and shoves in Armins general direction.  
“My friends… my sister. Can’t exactly say they approve, if you know what I mean.”  
Levi nods and wonders, if he’d give Erwin shit, if he told him that he likes to get his ass stuffed for a little cash. Most likely not, because he really doesn’t care all too much what people do, when he’s not going ballistic over some bullshit and the thought of Erwin selling himself on a street is too surreal anyways.  
He realizes, that maybe he’s a shitty friend, but also that Eren is looking at him point-blank and that he really has to come up with another question now, if he wants to keep the conversation going, rather than drinking the Tequila.  
The young man beats him to it, while he rests his head on his right hand.  
“Have you ever tried it?” He blinks confused for a second, trying to figure out what Eren is talking about, but he gives up, because he doesn’t want to wait for the silence to become awkward. “Tried what? Hire a prostitute?”  
The boy smirks and shakes his head, before he turns toward the counter. “A guy.”  
“Ah.”, is Levi’s dumb, incredibly eloquent reply and he shakes his head in return and fiddles with the golden ring on his right hand. “Honestly? I don’t think I can…”  
The sentence hangs in between them for a moment, and Eren faces him again, his eyes falling to the band on Levi’s finger. “Get it up, you mean?”  
He shrugs and blushes and shrugs again and nods and he knows that Eren takes in all those telltale signs but what exactly they are giving away, he isn’t sure, because yes, he never did it with a guy and yes, he can’t imagine it would work for him, but the god damn alcohol is making him flustered while pointing out, that he is straight, for reasons he can’t understand. He kicks himself internally and tries to remind himself that he’s 37 and not a fucking virgin and that there is certainly no reason to get bashful in front of a kid, that very well may be his son.

Eren just giggles and it lifts some of the drunken slash anxiety driven haze he is in, before he feels Eren’s hand on his chair, next to his thigh, apparently putting weight on it to lean in and whisper in his ear.  
“Want to find out?”  
Levi recoils a little, but he doesn’t jump to his feet like he did on the bus stop and opts for sending a menacing glare in Eren’s direction that gets ignored completely before he raises his voice, short of actually yelling but loud enough for Armin to pick it up behind the bar and stiffen a little. “I told you, I’m not going to fuck you!”  
The god damn brat just giggles again, and Levi can finally make out, that he isn’t as sober as it may appear at first glance. His big, green eyes are glazed, and the slightest bit of sheen shows on his face, while he shoots him his way to happy, way too flashy smile.  
“Of course not! Just want to figure out, if you can get it up!”, is what he blurts out with a little laugh and then he is right back in front of him, weight on his hands, that rest on both sides of Levi’s bar stool and he grins like he want’s to say “Don’t be a spoilsport, old man!”.  
“Just close your eyes, it’s gonna be fun!”, he says instead and Levi raises an eyebrow before his eyelids flutter and close eventually and if he wasn’t so drunk he would most likely slap himself right now because what Eren is doing, what is going to happen is so _blatantly_ obvious, but he can’t grasp it in his current state.

He feels his head spin a little, from shutting the world out and he is about to open his eyes again, when a gentle press on his thin lips makes him go stiff. It’s warm, soft, the slightest bit wet, and it takes way too long for him to understand, that Eren is kissing him and to snap his eyes open in mild horror, but he doesn’t move.  
He doesn’t move, because he’s still frozen in place and he can only stare at Eren’s face that is so close _– too close_ – with a serene, relaxed expression and closed eyes, while he feels the sweetest, softest kiss on his skin, the playful tongue, that makes him open his mouth in reflex, as soon as it prods on his lips and he gets a very clear idea of how Eren manages to make money with that shit, because it feels good.  
So, so _good_.  
It’s gentle and sensual and careful, without being coy and Levi vaguely recognizes, that he closed his eyes again, that he plays with the tender tongue, that intrudes his mouth and he tastes Tequila and warmth and a small hint of the cigarette from earlier.  
Eren’s lips easily dance over his, not because they are wet and slick – because really, all the wetness is enclosed in their mouths and Levi likes that too – but because they are soft and feathery and the best kind of contrast to the faint stubble, that scratches his skin ever so lightly, when Eren’s chin is brushing his own.

He also feels tentative fingers sneak up his thigh and rub over his junk carefully and a voice in the back of his mind is telling him, that he should really, _really_ snap out of it now, but he doesn’t until Eren’s lips are gone and he hears that faint giggle again, that really shouldn’t sound cute from a grown-up man.  
“See? Lively and ready for action.”  
It takes a moment, before he opens his eyes. A moment to take a deep breath, before he looks down on the obvious bulge in his pants, encased by Eren’s fingers and he can’t stop the defeated sigh, that leaves his mouth, still tingling from a kiss, he would have never imagined that he could enjoy.  
“Changed your mind?”, Eren repeats and this time Levi nods slowly.  
Not because he is a straight man suddenly turned gay or because he never had a good kiss in his life before, not even because he is horny from the ministrations of Eren’s hand on his groin, but because he doesn’t care anymore. He is drunk and miserable and whatever Eren had done to him this evening, from forcing him to drink an irresponsible amount of alcohol, to pushing his tongue in his mouth, had made him feel good and less fucked up and sad about his overall existence. Whether it’s intoxication or plain ignorance, that pushes him to behave like a careless teenager now, instead of going home and fixing his problems, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about his shitty marriage, about how he came to be in this situation in the first place. The only thing that matters, is the comfortable buzz of alcohol, Eren’s gentle attention and the overwhelming wish for it not to stop. For this feeling, for the dumb, alcohol and hormone induced happiness not to stop because it might be fake and temporary, but it feels good and he honestly can’t remember, when he was happy about _anything_ the last time.

Levi isn’t stupid. He understands the contradiction between him saying no and him saying yes within minutes but while the alcohol makes Eren playful, it makes Levi careless and despite saying no before, he can’t deny that he did close his eyes and that he did kiss Eren back and he can’t bring himself to believe that some very small, distant part of his mind didn’t know what was going to happen, no matter how drunk he was. It’s so absolutely him to be this way, because acts are acts and words are words and he always manages to want and act like one thing and say the other. He says things that hurt Petra, even if he doesn’t want to and he says no to Eren, even though he wants to, but now he’s wasted and he isn’t holding back anymore.

Eren grabs his wrist and throws a bill on the counter, that is way too small to cover the amount of drinks they had, but Armin only gives them a nod. Maybe Levi’s suspicion was right, that they’ve basically been drinking gasoline all night. He certainly feels like it.  
Next thing he knows, he gets dragged away from his chair, through the door, onto the street and he vaguely notes that his suit has dried over the duration of their stay at the bar and he is only filthy but not wet and cold anymore.  
Eren doesn’t let go.  
Instead, he holds his hand and forces him to follow down the street and Levi is beyond asking questions by now and understands just how fucking shit faced he is, now that he has to put his legs to use.  
He barely manages to compose himself by the time they stop in front of a three storied house and when Eren opens the door he isn’t too sure if he should feel happy anticipation or dread about making the most stupid mistake of his life.


	2. The white room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, here is the first (awkward) smut, lol  
> I published the first chapter only a few hours ago but since I already got some really sweet comments (wow, really, I was so surprised, thank you! :D), I've decided to hammer down the second chapter right away.  
> Reading it myself, it feels a little abrupt here and there but I tried my best to make it fluent. I hope I succeeded :)  
> Enjoy and let me know what you think and if you see any horrible butchering of the English language, let me know. I'm not a native speaker, but I'm trying my best <3

It’s quite amazing how many thoughts you can cramp into the little amount of time that it takes, to enter a house and go up the stairs to the second floor. For Levi, it’s enough to contemplate his life, his choices so far, his very existence, insignificant among the planets and stars in the universe. It doesn’t really matter, that it took them less than ten minutes from the bar to the tiny apartment block down the street and that he spent most of those ten minutes figuring out how to walk straight, because now he does. He’s got it all figured out and his mind involuntarily snaps to thinking about _where_ he is actually walking.  
_Where_ is the lions den in his case and Eren is the modern-day predator, that sunk his teeth in and drags him away to face death, not in the literal sense of the word, but the metaphorical one. The death of his values, his morals, his believes.

He doesn’t feel guilty about what is going to happen, because his brain is still wrapped in a comfortable bubble of denial, he just feels utter disbelieve and he can’t stop asking himself if he really wants this. If he feels ready to do what he undoubtedly came here for, because now that his alcohol wrecked brain decided to join the party, he has a hard time imagining that he’s able to do the deeds with a kid half his age. A male kid half his age. A fucking male prostitute half his age.  
Not helping – god knows where those terrible Tequila shots are, when you really need them.

Eren opens the door and leads him into the worlds smallest corridor with a door in each direction. There is nothing here, no shoes, no plant in a pot, no picture on the walls, only white wallpaper and white doors and Eren is pointing at the one opposite of the entry.  
“Bathroom.”  
A gentle push directs Levi to the right, without any further explanation where the door on the left might lead to and he finds himself in small room, bare of 90 percent of the shit that Petra cramped into their own bedroom. A bed exists though, with a white wooden frame that Levi identifies as some 80 bucks IKEA crap, usually close to collapsing every time someone attempts to sit on it.  
There is a chair and a trash can on one side and a tiny shelf on the other, stacked with what seems to be condoms, lube and an unnecessary amount of tissue boxes and just looking through the room makes him feel nauseous, cause the walls are white and the bed is white and the sheets and the chair and the shelf and it’s like ending up in a god damn hospital.

“You live here?”, he shoots Eren a questioning look, while the kid closes the door behind them and starts to take Levi’s coat off his shoulders.  
“Sorry to disappoint you. Selling myself doesn’t exactly make me filthy rich.”  
The coat ends up on the chair – so that’s why the thing is here in the first place – and Eren starts laughing, when he turns around and sees Levi’s appalled expression. “Geez, I’m fucking with you. I just work here.”  
That doesn’t exactly make him feel better. He wonders how other clients of a prostitute feel about being reminded where exactly they are and what exactly is happening on the very bed they are expected to use, with another dozen guys per week.

Eren is back in front of him and starts to unbutton the top of his shirt with careful fingers and Levi can’t help to find it weird, because it’s not like the small hands of his wife fiddling with it seductively.  
It’s a grown man, in fact grown a lot taller than Levi and looming over him.  
It’s not that Eren is ugly. Levi may be a guy but that doesn’t make him blind and the brat is handsome by every standard he can think of, but he can’t change that, even though the idea of Eren touching him isn’t repelling, it doesn’t really turn him on either.  
  
“I… I don’t think I can do this.”, he grabs Eren’s wrists to still his movement, but the boy is undeterred by the interruption, slowly playing with the next button and grins. “Oh, trust me, you can certainly do it.”  
“You need the money that bad?”, he chokes out and the fingers on his shirt still.  
There is a brief moment where Levi wonders if he fucked up, if he said something bad or inappropriate, before he sees a spark in Eren’s eyes and the brat just starts grinning again and his lethargic brain has another generous moment and delivers some insight on the expression. They may not have spent a lot of time together this evening, but Eren is still drunk and he already gathered that a drunk Eren is a playful Eren and quite certainly likes challenges – like finding out if Levi can get a boner by kissing him – and in this moment his face looks incredibly, _frighteningly_ playful.  
  
“Tell you what. If I can get you off, you pay and if I can’t, you walk out here with your heterosexuality intact. Deal?”  
He leans in, his breath on Levis ear and the feeling of the situation shifts a bit, because Eren isn’t as tall anymore and everything is a tiny bit closer to the memory of him leaning into Levi at the bar and yes, his voice is still deep and manly without a doubt, but it sounds just as playful as his eyes looked a moment ago. “I know it’s your first time with a guy. Don’t worry… I will take good care of you…”

To feel so coy is stupid, because Levi is used to being bold and harsh and angry most of the time, but he can’t stop himself from swallowing so loudly that he’s certain that Eren hears it. The boy leans back a bit, knees bend so that his face is right in front of Levi’s and he shoots him a sympathetic smile, before he gently pulls him in the direction of the bed.  
“Why don’t you lay down, close your eyes? Save the visuals for later, hm?”, he whispers and it’s like being in the bar all over again, with Levi thinking that he should stop, that he should get his shit together, snap out of it, but instead he just follows Eren’s lead like a lifeless doll, until he feels the bedframe on the back of his legs.  
Another gentle push sends him down to the mattress, makes him gulp again like a scared teenage virgin, Eren already back to opening more buttons down the front of his shirt.  
“Close your eyes Levi.”, he repeats and Levi does.  
It doesn’t change much though.

Levi can’t bring himself to forget, that there is a man hovering on top of him, that a man is pushing his shirt aside and the gentle, soft hands on his ribs are way too big to tell himself something else. He feels warm breath on his chest for a moment, fingers running down his sides to stop on his hips, while tender lips press down on one of his nipples, a slick, hot tongue licking it carefully.  
It feels good. It really does. So good in fact, that he raises his left hand to Eren’s head and lets his fingers run through his soft locks, but it’s still weird at the same time and it scares Levi more than getting a paycheck cut or seeing Petra cry or finding a cockroach in the kitchen – because damn, he hates these bastards and they make him run in horror from his own house.

A tuck on his pants makes him realize, that Eren unbuttoned them and they are gone in an instant, together with his boxer briefs, because compared to him, Eren doesn’t behave like a fucking teenager. He is gentle but unceremoniously, knows what he’s doing, while Levi feels yet another wave of uncertainty wash over him, now that his goods are out in the open.  
He tried hard – really, really hard – to keep his eyes shut since he laid down on the bed, but he can’t force them to stay closed any longer, when tentative fingers glide along his cock.

“Shhhh…” Eren rubs his right thigh in calming circles, eyes locked with Levi’s, while the fingers of his other hand close around his confused, traitorous, _hard_ dick and start moving.  
It’s gentle and slow, just like the fingertips, that leave his thigh, wander to his hip, his waist, his chest and back to his leg. It’s good, no matter how much the image of Eren, still fully clothed between his legs, clashes with his mind. It’s good and sweet and rather relaxing, than incredibly arousing and Levi thinks that maybe that’s exactly what Eren tries to achieve.

He is watching Eren bend down, almost in slow motion and he forces his eyes shut again, when he feels the first kiss on his dick, the first lick, before everything is engulfed in slicked heat and even though everything is going way to fucking fast, he is grateful. Really, really grateful, that Eren isn’t teasing him, because it takes everything he has to stay on this godforsaken bed and not run away from the terrible confusion that the evening brought over him.

His hands wander to Eren’s fluffy hair again, grab it gently and he allows himself to enjoy the expertly executed blowjob for a moment, because really, it feels good to have a soft tongue play with your cock, while luscious lips run up and down the shaft. But it doesn’t last long and Eren already lets go, to roll a condom over him and – judging by the sounds – discard his clothes, leaving him with the feeling, that you don’t have sex like that with a lover.  
Mechanically, like going through a checklist.  
Eren isn’t a lover though. He’s a whore who is trying to get him off, which – at this point – Levi is certain will work and most likely he’s feeling just as strangely detached to the whole situation as Levi does.

He moans – very loudly so – when he feels something warm and wet and fucking _tight_ around his cock and opens his eyes against better judgement to watch how he glides into the boy.  
Eren is slow, doesn’t pick up the pace even after he’s fully seated on Levi’s dick and starts moving. He looks relaxed, eyes closed, gently lifting himself up and sliding down again and again and again, while Levi’s hands grab his hips instinctively to steady his movements.  
It’s a very different view, from what he’s used to see, with a cock jumping up and down in front of him with every movement, instead of the soft bouncing of tits and he wonders if he should ask for another position, to get Eren’s genitals out of his vision, but just as everything they’ve done so far, it’s not actually bothering him in a negative way. It’s just new and awkward and a little bit intimidating.

Eren opens his eyes and looks down on him, smiles and Levi can see the light sheen of sweat on his face, that doesn’t surprise him, considering that Eren went from closing the door to getting his ass stuffed in less than three minutes.  
His voice is barely a whisper, when he asks if it feels good, only to receive some sort of undecided nod from Levi.  
“Tell me what you need me to do Levi…”, his hands starts their journey over Levi’s skin again, leaving a soft tingle in their way and he attempts a shrug, averting his face.  
“I don’t know…”, his thumbs rub Erens hips involuntarily. “Maybe… Kiss me again?”

Eren bends down, the smile never leaving his face until Levi can feel it on his lips. He closes his arms around Eren’s back, embraces him and opens his mouth and suddenly everything feels very different.  
There is no new, mind blowing sensation to the tightness around his cock because it was there the whole time. Hot and enticing and absolutely great, but maybe it’s a mental thing. Maybe it’s just not Levi’s deal to watch a teenager bounce on top of him without preamble, minimal body contact included.

Now he feels him in his arms, the gentle rocking of their bodys, while their mouths melt together, and it doesn’t bother him, that Eren isn’t soft and curvy, that he can feel every lean edge of his frame in his embrace, the tight muscles moving in his abdomen, because Eren is warm and his skin is silky and his fingers in Levi’s black hair are affectionate. His lips are plump and soft and hot, just like his tongue and there is no stopping the sounds that leave Levi’s mouth now, only to be swallowed by their kisses.

It feels so good, it feels fucking _liberating_ and Levi is seizing the moment, turning them around without ever breaking away from Eren’s lips.  
He doesn’t speed up, because feeling how the kid is slowly coaxing an orgasm out of him feels so much more satisfying. Instead he sinks one hand into the brown locks again, pulls Eren’s head to the side and buries his face in the boys’ neck, breathing him in, catching light tanned skin between his lips, his teeth and the way Eren’s breath is hitching, before he lets out a deep groan is downright _sinful_.

He lets his other hand wanders down, grabs Eren’s butt to lift him closer, to go deeper, _deeper_ and the kid seems to be hanging on to dear life by now, hands painfully clasping at Levi’s shoulders, his face flushed and sweaty, just like their chests, gliding over each other with wet sounds. It doesn’t even make sense that their tender movements leave them so desperate within seconds just because of a hug or kiss, but here they are and Levi can’t stop himself from licking, biting, nibbling Eren’s skin.

“Fuck…”, he mutters, sealing the boys’ lips with his own again, Eren’s frantic hands around his neck, in his hair, fucking everywhere. Their breathing harsh and panting now but their movements still slow and sensual and when Eren suddenly shouts his name, he almost stops, _almost_ , wondering if he hurt him, before he feels the cum between them, the tightness around him becoming nearly painful for a few seconds and it forces a cry from his lips, the orgasm from his body with suddenly careless, sharp thrusts, and Eren’s scent and heat is still surrounding him and it feels so fucking _right_.

Looking down at the kid in sudden clarity, still captured by the remnants of his own high, trying to catch his breath, he finds an equally confused expression on Eren’s face, like he is most likely wearing himself right now. He can't dwell on it though, his arms giving in and he slumps down on Eren, spreading cum and sweat between them.  
The brat chuckles, cards his hand lazily through Levi’s hear while he can listen to the raging heartbeat, still hammering in Eren’s chest and he gives himself a moment, just a very small moment, to enjoy the tranquility in his head, the smell of their bodies in the air and the feeling of his cock, still slightly pulsing inside of the kids’ ass.

“So… You’re going to pay me?”, is the first thing that breaks the silence, albeit with an amused tone to it, that prompts Levi to lift his head and smack Eren’s forehead with his fingers, before he pulls out and gets up, to rid himself of the condom.  
“Yeah brat.” He looks over his shoulder and shrugs, while he blindly throws the condom in the general direction of the trash can. “I guess I will.”

 

~~~

 

Stepping back into his dirty suit had been hard, but not as hard as willing himself to head home.  
He had paid Eren – 50 bucks, not 100, because he isn’t some damn charity and considering that the boy came, he feels like he earned himself a discount anyways – and decided that he can’t stand another moment without his nice, clean wardrobe, full of freshly washed clothes.  
In return, Eren had given him his number and told him to ‘call, if he feels like it again.’.

It’s 2 in the morning, when he makes his way into the neighborhood, a bit of rain dribbling down from the sky again, but not enough to soak him completely.  
The only thing he can hope for now, is that Petra is sleeping, because he doesn’t feel ready for her questions regarding where he has been and what he was doing.  
The good mood from the bar, the serenity from feeling Eren’s skin, it’s all long gone now and he knows he’s back to his usual self and that he fucked up and that it’s going to make him all the more defensive and pissed, as soon as Petra confronts him.

He tried to use the time to think about what this evening meant in the grand scheme of things. If he’s gay or bisexual or temporarily confused and what his behavior says about his marriage but in the end, he can’t bring himself to really dive into it.  
It’s still fresh. Eren is still fresh – in his mind and under his skin and he doesn’t have it in him to put Petra into the picture yet.  
He only knows, that he can’t tell her. He fucking can’t and it’s really hard to decide if he should pity himself for being a pathetic loser who cheats on his wife with a teenager half his age, or if he’s just an asshole. I giant, moronic, idiotic asshole.

Knowing, that the very reason for not being pissed and unhappy for once in the last year, is a bright-eyed prostitute, doesn’t help him feel any better. Knowing, that that was the case even without the sex, that the dopey brunette had made him relax and have a good evening with way too many drinks, makes it even worse, because it makes him think that it’s something he could have. An acquaintance or friend or lover or god knows what, that doesn’t push all his buttons and makes him feel himself again. Eren is the walking proof, that it’s possible, because he is the first person in ages that managed to stand him for more than an hour, ignore his insults and laugh about his horrible jokes. Then again, maybe he just pretended to get laid and earn some cash.  
No matter what the truth may be, it can’t be Eren anyways. It can’t be, because Eren is a whore. A _male_ whore and Levi has certainly fucked him, but that can’t make him forget, that he has a wife and a house and half a dozen joined bank accounts and loans to pay and a shitty job, due for a promotion since fucking _ever_.

He chuckles when he reaches the gate in front of their garden, shakes his head because the realization of his own situation is sad but laughable.  
Eren can’t make him forget all the shit, that is going on in his life. It’s rather that the whole incident rubs it in his face, that it took steeping as low as fucking a prostitute to understand, that he can’t keep going like this. That something needs to _change_ , before he gets the idea to start another stupid thing – drugs, or street races or illegal fist fights – to escape confrontation with his real life. The life that simply doesn’t make him happy, that makes him aggressive and resigned and blind, even for the good things that happen around him, cause it’s certainly not all shit. He has a home, he has food and he has people who care about him, even if they may be few and he can’t figure out why they keep up with him.

Really sounds like a midlife crisis by now.

It takes a moment, to fiddle his keys out of his pocket, but the door opens, before he can find the keyhole in the dark, making way for the one person he really didn’t want to see now.  
Petra looks him up and down, before she steps back to let him in without a word, but he doesn’t allow himself to be relieved yet. He knows it’s coming and there’s already a migraine making itself known behind his temples, when he kicks off his shoes, her soft voice reaching his ear only seconds later.

“It’s late… Where have you been? What were you doing?”


	3. Bar-hopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> A new chapter is here and it's probably not the most exciting part of the story but at least a little longer (I think.)  
> I tried to give the characters a little more shape and show some of Levi's thought process during the first step of his "journey" and I want to tackle this whole "Levi is wrecking his marriage and figuring out his sexuality"-topic without making fun about it or handling it lightly, so.. yeah things are kinda serious in Levi's head.
> 
> But fear not! There is more to come!   
> More smut, fluff and obviously Eren's transition from hooker to lover and the problems that arise from that (because it's going to happen, this is a story about the boys and not Levi and Petra, eventhough that could be interesting as well *lol* (But seriously - No.))
> 
> Funny side note: I really reached my limits in this chapter with finding different ways for Levi to call himself an a**hole, because I didn't want to use the exact same word all the time. I honestly had to look up some english insults, haha :D
> 
> Leave me your thoughts in a comment, I will answer all of them and they really make my day - you have no idea how happy I am about your input. <3  
> Thanks a lot and enjoy :)

“Long night?”  
Eren grumbles something unintelligible, while Armin places a coffee in front of him.  
He had really gone all out with the shots the evening before, slept through most of the day and missed all his lectures, just to crawl into the bar as soon as Armin’s shift began. The same shift Armin always takes, starting at 8pm, that leaves every living person who knows him wondering, how he manages to work seven days a week and finish all his assignments with perfect results at the same time.  
Fucking walking library, is what he is.

Armin gives the counter another swipe and looks through the bar, to see if anyone needs his immediate attention, before he throws the washcloth into the sink and leans over the counter on his forearms.  
“Listen Eren, I’ve told you a million times, that you have to stop bringing your clients here. I’m lucky that I still have my job, with all the horny loners you show up with.”  
Eren shakes his head, the coffee mug still on his lips and he realizes too late, that that might have been a terrible idea when a part of its content burns its way down his chin and drips onto his lap. He wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, cause fuck it and puts the mug down, before he meets Armin’s eyes.  
“That wasn’t a client.”  
Armin’s blonde eyebrows shoot up in a way that looks almost comical and he’s crossing his arms in front of his chest, before he prods further.  
“What, you got a boyfriend now?”  
“No.”, he answers quietly.  
“He paid you?”  
“Yes…” He’s even more quiet this time and Armin just rolls his eyes and throws his hands in the air.  
“Client then.”

Eren sighs and looks into the mug, as if the coffee grounds are holding some answers for him, on how to get Armin off his back, but the truth is, that his friend isn’t wrong.  
“Okay, I’m sorry.” He looks up and meets Armin’s doubting gaze, before he shrugs and turns his attention back to the cup in his hands. “It wasn’t planned like this. We just wanted to have a few drinks.”  
“Well I’m glad, I’m not having drinks with you. Might wake up without my pants and robbed of my money.”, Armin counters and Eren gives him an incredulous look and wonders when the shy, timid boy he befriended in middle school turned into a sassy little bitch, that’s nagging at him whenever he finds the opportunity and sounds more and more like his sister with every passing day. “Wow, calm down Beyoncé!”

Armin’s shoulders slump and his whole demeanor changes within nanoseconds, as if he had said something unforgiveable – that’s the kid Eren got to know years ago, the boy he loves like a brother.  
“I’m sorry… It’s just…” His fingers grab Eren’s empty hand in a comforting, apologetic gesture and squeeze it lightly. “… I really need this job Eren, and watching you come in here with these geezers all the time... I’m worried, you know? They look at you as if they want to bend you in half over the counter.”  
Eren chuckles now and entwines his fingers with Armin’s because there is no force in the world, able to resist the charms of Goldilocks reincarnated, and he can tell from his voice, that Armin is sorry and really, truly worried for his friend.  
“Well at least I know you got my back while I’m here, if they try, no?”  
Armin rolls his eyes again, not in an annoyed way anymore, but cute and decorated with one of those distinctive ‘Arlert smiles’, that just make you happy, no matter how hard you are trying to fight it and could probably end wars and bring world peace.

“Come here.”, he says with a grin and leans over the counter, Armin already bending towards him as well, to receive the tight hug they always share in situations like this and he can hear his friend mumble something along the lines of “fucking fairy…”, without a trace of spite in his voice, while Eren places as short peck on his hair and retorts with a cheerful “Love you too, sweetie!”.

As soon as they let go, Armin has that mischievous spark in his eyes, that comes along with this weird second personality, he’s been developing during the last years – most likely to survive behind a bar, because angelic Armin consist mostly of blushing and sheepish stuttering, while sassy Armin breaks up bar fights and gives you a run for your money.  
“So, was he any good? He got your number?”  
“Mhm… He might?”, Eren answers with a wide grin and it’s just too funny to see how Armin’s eyes go wide and his mouth drops open, because really, Eren doesn’t hand out his number a lot after picking up people, unwilling to be repeatedly treated like someone’s bitch or drugged or hit or worse and he rather asks Mikasa for money, if he really can’t scrape it together, than offering his body to people, who pick it apart like a lifeless toy.  
He has fucked his way through a great deal of guys and had shed the clients he didn’t feel comfortable with, when he finally gathered enough regulars to pay his bills.  
“Wow, didn’t think he had it in him, with how shit faced he was last night.”  
“Tell me about it. He behaved like the virgin Mary when we got down to it.”  
“But then he made you hear the ringing of heavens bells?” Armin wiggles his eye brows, prompting Eren’s expression to turn into a strange in-between of dreamy and amused, before he licks his lips and winks.  
“Let’s just say, I might have mentioned the name of the lord a few times during our rendezvous.”

 

~~~

 

“You look like shit”, is the enthusiastic but rather unsympathetic statement a black-haired man in his late thirties receives at the same time, at the other end of the city.  
Levi wonders what the hell has gotten into him, that made him end up in yet another bar with the Dou Infernale gaping at him like an exhibition piece in a museum – Hanji emitting unconcealed excitement, while Erwin gives him a curious look from below his ridiculously huge eyebrows.

He can’t blame them. Levi never asks to get a drink together, but that’s exactly what he did, because procrastinating won’t help his situation and hidden behind self-hatred and loathing, there’s the reasonable adult talking in his head, telling him, that he needs to do something about what happened, without dragging everyone around him through the mud – dragging Petra through the mud – while he investigates his newfound _lifestyle_ and he needs help to get his thoughts in order.

Last night had been horrible, because Petra expected him to have cooled off, hours after leaving the house. Instead he’d come back, after betraying her, betraying her trust, just to snap at her like a wounded animal – the second time that day – that it was none of her _fucking_ business where he had been.  
Pathetic, really, considering they are married and it is damn well her business, to know what is going on in his life.  
Except she doesn’t, not really. Not only in terms of his adultery, but in general and he knows, that it is his fault as well, because Petra is a gentle soul, an understanding companion, but for some reason he had stopped talking to her along the way, about what eats him up, makes him mad, leaves him empty and unhappy. He’s taken all the tools to do something out of her hands and now she can just stand by, watching everything crumble, not knowing jack shit about why he’s behaving like such an asshole.

There wasn’t much more talking afterwards, and he had spent the night on the couch, hiding behind his anger but the truth was, that he just couldn’t look her in the eyes.  
Couldn’t sleep either for that matter, so he spent the time – and a great amount of today – wondering instead. Wondering if Petra is a part of his problem, if he doesn’t love her anymore and it’s hard to tell after so many years, because he cares about her a great deal, even if the childish infatuation is gone, but he’s sure that’s normal too when you’ve been at each other’s side for such a long time.

He knows though, that you don’t treat someone you love that way, or maybe you do, if you are an idiot but you certainly don’t treat someone you _respect_ that way and that’s just another punch in the gut for him, because he wants to. He wants to show her care and respect because she deserves it more than anyone and the question why he doesn’t, why he always throws all his good intentions out of the window when he’s standing in front of her, just makes him wonder about the next thing. Makes him wonder, if he’s just with her because it is what he knows best, but doesn’t actually care, just like he keeps his job because that is what he is used to, even if it makes him want to rip his own hair out on a daily basis. Maybe he’s just doing things the way he does to stay in his own comfort zone – a miserable comfort zone but a comfort zone nonetheless – or maybe it’s all a lot simpler and the answer to his questions lies in him being a gigantic asshole at heart.

It’s unfair, the way he behaves and it’s unfair, that he didn’t tell her what happened last night but it’s clear as day how that would play out, how it would shatter the life he knows, and he doesn’t feel ready to destroy it, to destroy what’s familiar, even if he technically already did.  
He did it last night and just because he doesn’t say it out loud, doesn’t change that it happened, it just prolongs status quo, because he’s to much of a pussy to let go yet.

Levi rubs his eyes, while the mumbo-jumbo in his mind threatens to make his head explode. He doesn’t even have the energy to give Hange a proper reply for her assessment and that seems to morph her face into worry way faster, than any insult could, considering he would usually be close to a choleric outburst right about now.

“Levi?”, Erwin asks carefully, and Levi nods, clears his throat and starts to paint invisible pictures with his fingertips on the surface of the table.  
“It’s not going so well… at home.”, he mumbles and they go silent because his revelation isn’t news to them and they both already know, that that’s the understatement of the century, but they aren’t stupid, and while Levi says that it isn’t going well, he actually wants to say _it got a lot worse_ and they instantly understand that too.

Hange’s hand flies over the table to grab his but he jerks back. Not just because he knows her long enough and is more familiar with her nonexistent hygiene than he’d like to be, but because this isn’t a moment for her sympathy. He’s an asshole and he doesn’t deserve it and he didn’t come here to find a shoulder to cry on.

She furrows her brows, withdrawing her hand and sends a sidelong glance in Erwins direction, who leans forward now, hands crossed in front of him on the table and his voice is laced with deep concern.  
“What happened?”  
And isn’t that the question of the century? The elephant in the room? The bomb about to drop? And most of all, is he really going to tell them? Tell them everything?

Levi shakes his head, as if that could silence his inner monologue and he loosens his tie, all eyes on him and time to start the shit show, while the remnants of his hangover still hammer through his head.  
He looks down on his hands, unable to cope with this new feeling, this perplexity, this inability to get an idea of what he should do, because Levi always knows what he’s doing and he spits it out into the world, spits it into other peoples face when they don’t, when they can’t meet his standards or live up to his expectations.  
But now he’s clueless and there is no running from this. Not really. No running from Hange and Erwin and no running from his marriage either.  
“I slept with…”, and it’s almost on the tip of his tongue but he can’t force it out, can’t bring himself to lay out exactly just how wretched he is. Not yet. “… someone.”

When Hange’s brows shoot up, it doesn’t surprise him, because not only does she have an impressive vocabulary and an undying motivation to keep talking till doomsday, but she’s rather expressive with her facial features as well. The look of surprise in Erwins face is a whole different story, because he’s someone who tends to keep his composure, who doesn’t let his emotions show and to see that gaze from him now, that doesn’t just say ‘ _I did not expect that_ ’ but also ‘ _Not from someone like you, I thought you are better than this._ ’ makes Levi feel like a complete failure as a human being all over again.

“Well…”, Erwin finally breaks the silence and it’s obvious, that he is having a hard time to compose his voice, let alone sentences. “Does she know?”  
Levi shakes his head and his friend keeps his inquiry going, goes through the list of _when_ and _why_ and _what the hell where you thinking_ and he can only shake his head to most of the questions flying in his direction because he doesn’t know and he has no clue what he was thinking and he is trying really, really hard to figure that out as well right now.

Hange’s fingers are tapping on the table all along because she never manages to completely reign in all the energy that she’s bustling with, but she’s silent, listens and when there’s finally a gape opening in their conversation she shoots him a look. One of those that show, that she is on to something, because he’s sure that she has got him figured out already, by noticing which questions he avoids and which of his answers beat around the bush.  
“Who was it? Someone we know?”

He gulps while he’s already shaking his head, his eyes on his hands again, because he’s honestly just too embarrassed about his behavior to look his friends straight in the eye.  
“It was…”, it’s so hard, it’s so, so goddamn hard and he almost chokes on it, when he finally spits it out. “… a boy. It was a boy.”

Something clatters on the table, most likely the spoon that Hange used to stir her coffee.  
“Levi, what –“, but Erwin interrupts her, voice slightly louder now, still too low for the people on the next table to hear but Levi can pick it up and so does Hange and she shuts up immediately while Levi finally mans up and looks into his friends face, suddenly a much darker expression showing on his features.  
“What do you mean, a boy?”  
It takes a moment, but finally Levi’s eyes widen at the sudden realization and he shakes his head, lifts his hands in defense and does possibly a wide range of other things, that are usually not part of his gesture repertoire, while his voice lifts in panic. “Not a _boy_ boy! A man! A young man!”

They both lean back in what looks like relief and Hange pushes a few brown strands of hair out of her face, but it doesn’t do shit, because her ‘ponytail meets updo’ hairstyle is a battlefield in itself.  
“So you slept with a man.”, she grins now, wiggling her eyebrows and winks at him as if that’s something she saw a long time coming and now he’s finally done with it and it pulls a bit of Levi’s usual aversion to her fucking antics out of him.  
“I swear to god four eyes…”  
“Aww, come on, don’t be like that. Was it good?”  
That’s Erwins cue to interrupt her, before Levi makes an attempt to jump over the table and strangle that godforsaken woman.  
“I think what she means to say is, if that changed anything for you? You know, if you’re…”  
“If I’m what? Gay?”, he hisses but Erwin takes it with a nonchalant shrug and nods.

It takes a moment to reign his sudden anger in, but when his murderous glare breaks, he can only shrug defeated. “Honestly, I have no idea…”  
Erwin hums, nodding slowly. “Well you may want to figure that out for yourself, as well as what lead you to do it, before you tell Petra – and you will tell her – “, he gives him a pointed look, “because you need to have an idea if you want to work on your marriage or not.”.

Levi let’s Erwins words settle in, takes a moment to really, _really_ turn them around in his head and when they finally sink through the haze, he just gawks at him dumbstruck, before he nods.  
This is it.  
This is exactly what he has to do and knowing that may not lift the confusing fog in his head regarding why he fucked a male prostitute when he had a caring wife sitting at home or what the hell is wrong him in general, but he will work through that and figure it out. He must. And maybe that will make or break his relationship with her but no matter what conclusion he will reach, either that this is what he wants or that he made the biggest mistake in his life, he can sit down with her and talk about it. Tell her what happened and that he can’t continue anymore or tell her that he did something horrible but wants to turn himself around, make amends, be better and what she does with that is completely up to her. It’s her good right to kick his sorry ass out of the house if she wishes to do so, but maybe she doesn’t. Maybe they can fix it. Or maybe they can’t but this is the course of action he must take.

Erwin smiles, watching the gears turn in Levi’s head, as he pushes the crap about telling her or not telling her or leaving the country and the self-loathing and the self-pity and the self-hatred aside and nods again, more firmly this time.  
“Yes, thanks.”, he looks up, taking in his friend. “Thanks Erwin.”  
The man chuckles and waves his hand dismissively, Hange looking back and forth between them, not quite catching up yet, but she’ll get there. They both know she will.  
“You’re always welcome in my illustrious support group for lost cases, Levi.”

 

~~~

 

Levi takes a deep breath, before he presses the call button of his phone, the number – not saved in his contacts yet – flashing up on the screen, before he lifts it to his ear.  
Talking to his friends had helped him to calm his mind a bit and by the end of the evening he had almost felt like his usual self again, harassing waiters, harassing Hange, and probably kicking a trash can next to the entrance of the bar when they left, because it was better than kicking her.  
Yeah, he can’t exactly say, that being himself is a good thing.

Thinking about what Erwin had said, while he made his way home, had him deciding that he would have to make a little detour before he went back, hence the phone call, that had taken him ages to man up to, the sound of the first ring in his ear now.

“Hello?”, Eren’s voice is clear, accompanied by noises, voices and music in the background that become quieter with every second, as if he has already gotten up to move out from wherever he is to hear the person on the other end of the line better.  
“Uh… yeah, it’s me, Levi.”  
“Levi!”, Eren chuckles. “Want another round?”  
“No, ehm…” He feels stupid again, just like last night because as soon as Eren’s voice is in his ear, he seems to turn into a shy, embarrassed idiot. _Every. Damn. Time._  
“I wondered if you have time.”, Levi swallows, tries to his best to ignore how his voice wavers and _Jesus Christ just get it out_! “I want to talk to you about something.”  
“Talk?”, Eren sounds surprised now but still as friendly as ever. “Right now?”  
“If that’s possible…”, he mumbles in reply and he can already feel his patience wear thin again, usual Levi still holding the reigns at the moment.  
“Okay, sure. You remember the bar from yesterday, right? I’m there. Drinks on you.”, and he laughs a little and Levi lets his breath go and can’t stop himself from smiling a bit as well.  
“Yeah, alright, I will be there soon.”

He ends the call and pockets his phone, before he thinks again and grabs it to send Petra a text, saying that he will be home a little later.  
It doesn’t really make a difference in the big picture, but he has fucked up enough for a lifetime and he wants to be more considerate, no matter how all of this ends. Especially if it’s something easy like this. Easy as a text, just to make sure that she knows there is no need to worry like last night. Easy because she can’t talk back to him and bombard him with questions that will prompt him to yell at her in annoyance.  
He really should do at least that much.

He follows the street down in the direction of the bar he has visited the night before, knowing that it isn’t far because he already went most of the way in the general direction of Eren’s apartment, while he contemplated giving him a call or not.  
He couldn’t come up with anything better though, because he has questions. A lot of them, but no one to talk to. He doesn’t know a single gay person besides the teenager and he’s sure that walking into a gay bar and asking someone if they could tell him a few things about their sexuality, won’t give him the results he’s hoping for.  
Rather a punch to the face – at least that’s what he would do.

He has no illusions, that a bit of digging on that topic can resolve any of his problems. It won’t tell him if he still loves Petra, whatever kind of love that may be, or why he betrayed her, because it doesn’t matter if he sticks his dick into an ass or a pussy. Eren’s age, gender or profession don’t really change a lot, but gaining some understanding about how all of this, how _they_ came together, may be a good first step, because if Levi has picked up one thing from last night, it’s that he still has hell a lot to learn about himself.  
He wants that. He wants to understand who he is, so that he can make others – Petra, Hange, Erwin – understand as well, and to do that, he needs to start somewhere.

He rounds the next corner, the bar finally in sight with blinking letters on top of the door.  
_Sina_.  
He hadn’t really paid attention to the name of the place last night, but it’s probably burned into his memories for all eternity now, together with the evening he spent there.

Eren comes into his vision right away, when he opens the door, sitting on the same spot at the bar, talking to the same barkeeper that served them last night.  
He makes his way to the bar stool next to him, clearing his throat to get Eren’s attention and the brat turns and flashes a smile at him, while the guy behind the bar – Armin was his name, Levi remembers. Eren had introduced him yesterday. – glares at Eren and his expression changes into something that says ‘ _What the fuck!?’_ loud and clear.

“Hi, am I interrupting something?”, he asks, even though he doesn’t really care if he’s perfectly honest, but Eren shakes his head already, causing his friends cheeks to turn red from what Levi thinks is anger, rather than intimidation, judging by the look in his eyes.  
“Not at all, sit down.”, he turns to Armin again, only now getting aware of the scowl the barkeeper had send Eren’s way and he rolls his eyes. “You got it wrong, get us a beer.”  
Armin stares Eren down for another second or two, before he leaves in a huff and walks to the other end of the counter to draw their drinks.

“What crawled up his ass?”  
“Ah, you know… the usual… shitty assignments, too little cash, his best friend being a hooker…”, Eren grins and a beer glass land on the counter in front of him with a loud clunk but that doesn’t faze him in the slightest, doesn’t even provoke him to cast a look in Armin’s direction and Levi gets a little envious and wishes he had that ability, whenever he has to endure Hange’s bullshit behavior.

“Cheers!”, he doesn’t wait for Levi to grab his glass, already taking huge gulps from his beer, wiping his mouth with his arm when he’s done, and Levi can make out a whole collection of disgusting spots on the sleeve, most likely originating from whatever food or drinks the brat devoured, before Levi arrived here.  
“So, what did you want to talk about?”  
Levi squirms a little in his seat, before he catches himself doing it and forces his back into a straight posture. He really has to stop with the insecure crap in front of Eren – he had his dick up the kid’s ass for fucks sake! – so he grabs his beer instead, swallows a mouthful to get some liquid courage and tries to ignore the thought, that he was already way too drunk yesterday and he would see an illuminated sign saying ‘ _stupid idea_ ’ pointing at the beer glass, if he had a little more imagination for shit like that .

Eren just looks at him curiously, waiting but not interrupting his process of gathering himself, until Levi finally stops hiding his face behind the glass and puts the beer down.  
_Now or never_.

“Homosexuality. I want to talk about homosexuality.”


	4. An unexpected ally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter is here - yay - where Levi tries to find some answers and the boys get to know each other a little more and I'm giving a bit more insight on the characters.  
> I'm starting to get annoyed with how out of character Levi is so... that's going to change at some point, but right now he's still uncertain about a lot of things and it shows in his demeanor.  
> For those of you who get bored of all the talking: We're going hot and heavy in the next chapter, mwuahaha.
> 
> And for those of you who think that Eren's 'explanations' are a bit of a stretch: They probably are (cause I don't know any better) but considering that growing up can be pretty confusing for a heterosexual as well with pressure from your peers and all the beauty standards these days and tons of other things that torment you during puberty, I can only imagine that it's probably just as - if not more - confusing for a boy. Who likes boys.   
> And as we all know: Everybody is different and we all do things at our own pace so I took the liberty to decide that Eren didn't automatically figured out he was gay, the first time he had a wet dream and... it also serves the plot better :P
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!   
> Thanks for all your support, I'm so motivated by all of your sweet comments and kudos and it's so much fun to write this thing :)

“Come again?”, is all Eren manages to say, before a hearty laugh bubbles from his throat, but seeing Levi’s furrowed brows and the way he casts his eyes to the ground, angry but filled with something that resembles shame at the same time, silences him just as fast.  
“Shit. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, Levi.”  
He lifts his arm and gives the man’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze, before he lets go quickly and fishes his beer from the counter. He knows from experience, that someone who’s in the process of asking himself this whole new set of questions, may be a bit sensitive and less appreciative of physical advances from a man, as gay as they come.

“Want to talk here?”, he asks, to give Levi a little push and the man is finally raising his head, looking around for a moment and eventually settling on Armin, who’s bustling behind the bar, way to close to them to believe that he isn’t trying his hardest to hear every single word they say.

Levi shakes his head, prompting Eren to take a last huge gulp from his beer, before he gets up.  
“We can walk a little or go to my place”  
He turns to Armin, pulls a bill from one of the pockets in his jeans and puts it on the bar, his payment causing another icy stare from the barkeeper in Levi’s direction.  
“Let’s get out of here.”, and Levi gets grabbed by his arm, dragged from his chair and shoved towards the door, while Eren is saying _good bye_ and _see you tomorrow_ and _you’ll get wrinkles if you scrunch up your face like that_ over his shoulder to Armin, and a few seconds later, Levi is standing on the street again, mere five minutes after entering the bar.

“Fuck it’s cold!”, is the first thing Eren says, as soon as they made it through the door and it actually isn’t, just a little chilly, but the kid doesn’t wear a jacket, while Levi is wearing a coat and an awkward silence starts to stretch between them, while hesitation keeps them rooted where they stand.  
“Let’s go to my place?”, the kid finally offers, but it only fuels Levi’s reluctance to get his ass moving.  
Eren is way ahead of him though, already picking up the vibes and adding “My real place.”, while he rubs his upper arms with his hands.

Levi looks down the street at everything and nothing at the same time, wondering what they should do.  
It's not that he's afraid to go somewhere private with the brat, but considering the circumstances, it still feels sort of inappropriate, like secretly sneaking somewhere with an ex-lover, while your girlfriend thinks you’re out with your friends.  
Which is, in fact, exactly what is happening right now, if Levi ignores a few minor details.

Eren waits for an answer with unexpected patience, while he shakes like a leaf in the cold of the evening. The cold he’s standing in, because Levi asked to see him and then told him, that he doesn’t want to talk in the bar, so maybe he should just stop being such a little bitch because it can’t get worse from here on anyways. He’s sober, he has no cash and no intention to bounce on the kid, so he might as well say yes, because brooding over the question if it’s immoral to spend time alone with Eren is actually a bit hypocritical at this point.

He give’s in with a nod and Eren start’s walking right away as if he’s running a race and heard a starter’s gun.  
Catching up with him is easy enough though. Levi’s legs may be short, but he walks through life like it’s a military parade, with fast, wide strides, that tend to leave people behind.  
The teenager babbles without drawing a breath, as if he feels the need to make sure that Levi doesn’t change his mind about their destination, telling him that it’s better than standing in the cold, how comfortable his couch is and that he has beer in the fridge, even if Levi has a hard time seeing the incentive. Eren seems to be running on alcohol, but Levi would prefer to not get plastered two days in a row.

Levi’s face wears the smallest tint of a blush from the chilly air by the time they arrive and shows a mix of confusion and suspicion, when they end up in the same apartment block in front of the same door, but Eren stops his train of thought yet again, while he unlocks the door.  
“I live on the opposite side.”  
It’s the door on the left, the one Eren hadn’t explained to him yesterday and it’s locked as well, in contrary to the bathroom and the boys ‘work station’.

“Isn’t that a bit risky? People knowing where you live as soon as they know where you work?”, Levi asks, while Eren opens the door to what looks like the living room of a perfectly normal apartment and shrugs.  
“I can handle myself, but I don’t really tell anyone. I’m pretty sure they think, that it’s the room of another hooker.”  
He kicks his shoes off and Levi follows suit, before Eren locks the door from the inside, because he doesn’t want to risk anyone stumbling into his home unannounced. You never know.

Giving Levi a moment to take in his surroundings – a living room with an open kitchen attached to it and a corridor that leads to a bathroom on the right and his bedroom to the left – he saunters to the fridge and grabs two bottles of beer.

His guest has shed his coat and drapes it over the arm rest of his sofa, while Eren slumps down on it unceremoniously and lifts his feet on the coffee table.  
“So, what do you want to know?”  
He offers the beer to Levi, who regards it with an uncertain look, before he takes and opens it and drinks a tiny sip, finally sitting down and humming an uncommitted “Mhm.”, as if he’s wondering where to start.

Just that he isn’t. He isn’t a great conversationalist on his best days but right now he has a pretty good idea what he wants to say. He just needs a bit more resolve to go for it, to start this chit chat, that may very well end up with him listening to things, he isn’t sure he wants to hear.

No real point in delaying it though, so he finally asks, “How did you know?”.

“Mhm…” Eren leans back and looks at the ceiling for a moment, giving the question some thought.  
“I didn’t wake up with sudden clarity, if that’s what you wonder.” Levi nods, an earnest, intense expression on his face, as if every fiber of his body is attuned to Eren, focused not to miss a single word or gesture and the boy takes it as a sign to keep going.  
“I guess it’s different for everyone, maybe some people just know, but it was more of a process for me. First it didn’t really occur to me because it’s just not something I was thinking about as a kid and there were so many influences over the years… It can be a bit misleading.”

He takes another sip from the bottle, before he looks at Levi and shrugs. “I have a sister and I’m sure that our relationship had a huge influence on how I perceive women, but back then, I didn’t really doubt that that perception would change into attraction for the other sex one day.  
Well, I didn’t _actively_ think that, but I thought that I’d have a girlfriend when I grew older.  
I saw my parents and how they had a family and marriage and a house. The whole nine yards, you know? And it was clear as day for me that I would have that as well one day.  
And then there is puberty, that doesn’t tell you a whole lot about yourself, because maybe you’re just a late bloomer, or you’re confused and you get raging boners for odd reasons all the time anyways.  
What I’m saying is… it can take a while for all the telltale signs to become obvious enough and it can take a while to accept them too, because no matter how you look at it, it isn’t the standard. It’s rare, like one in one hundred guys.”  
“I don’t even know a hundred guys.”, Levi intercepts and Eren nods with a smirk.

“When I realized that I wasn’t confused and that I didn’t want a girlfriend and that I rather wanted to see my best friend naked than some porn actress, it got easy pretty quickly. I didn’t fight it or started doubting myself because I haven’t been raised with any prejudices in that department and I knew that my family and my friends are supportive of me, no matter what I do or say or who I fuck with.  
So... yeah, it was smooth sailing from there, but…”, he sighs deeply in a way that makes him look like an old soul. “I know there are people out there who hate themselves for being gay, because they have been told that it’s wrong long before it has affected them, if you know what I mean. It’s not always bigotry from outsiders that keep people in the closet. Some people fight the biggest wars with themselves, not with others, because the values they’ve been raised to believe clash with who they are. They’re just ashamed.”

Levi is silent for a moment and rubs his neck, nodding to himself a few times.  
He feels better now than in the bar, comfortable with Eren doing most of the talking and he can see that the young man takes him seriously and already spent a great deal of time thinking about this topic, long before Levi came along.  
Getting educated by someone half his age is a little unusual, but he feels like he’s in good hands and it takes some of the tension away from him.

“What signs were there?”  
“You mean besides craving cock?”, Eren deadpans before he barks out a laugh and Levi makes an annoyed face, not because of Eren’s answer but because of the stupid way he phrased his question.  
“Well what if you don’t crave cock?”, he asks instead of sticking to his original inquiry.

Eren shrugs and gets up, his beer bottle already empty, to get a new one from the fridge.  
“There’s no ‘ _ten questions to test your gayness_ ’. Maybe you’re confused, maybe you’re in denial, maybe you haven’t met ‘ _the one’_ , maybe you haven’t tried enough and… being homosexual doesn’t just mean that you’re physically attracted to the same sex. We fall in love and form deep emotional attachments, just like everybody else. Being able to get off from a guy doesn’t automatically turn you into a fag.”  
He sits back down next to him and opens his second bottle. “You have to figure it out for yourself, there is no way around it. Maybe you liked a guy once and suppressed it or filed it away in the wrong category, I don’t know man. Watch some gay porn, see if it gets you going in a different environment, without being intoxicated and intimidated by a hooker.”  
He smiles at Levi again, that sympathetic look in his eyes. “Just take your time and think about it. You can’t force stuff like that.”

Eren’s bluntness makes Levi blink a little in surprise. It’s pleasant that he’s so straight forward, albeit a little unexpected and it’s obvious, that Eren is comfortable with his sexuality, with sex in general.  
He doesn’t really doubt, that he’s attracted to women but Eren’s words about him being in denial strike a nerve, because being intimate with a female body is something familiar, not out of his comfort zone, while sex with a man is the complete opposite.  
It brings him back to earlier today, when he was thinking about his choices in life, before he sat down with his friends, and had already wondered if he doesn’t make changes in his job or his marriage, because he doesn’t want to risk something, doesn’t want to face the unknown and maybe his sexuality is another topic he can add to that list.

He takes another look at Eren, tries to assess him with a new mindset.  
He’s probably a cute kind of guy, tall but well proportioned and his skin looks healthy and flawless, despite him drinking like a pirate – maybe because he’s still in the midst of puberty. His eyes are big, dark lashes, clear gaze, his hair is shiny, and Levi knows, that it felt smooth under his fingers.  
Eren’s face is a little soft, not as clear-cut as Levi’s, but not boyish either and his fingers are long and precise in every movement.  
Beautiful, really, but Levi can’t stop himself from thinking that he may be giving Eren more credit than necessary, because he’s already blown his load inside of him.

He tries to remember what Eren’s butt looked like, his dick, his bare chest.  
Was that hot?  
He found it to be rather intimidating last night, but he also knows that it felt good at the end, that he really enjoyed having Eren pressed against his body.  
Then again, he was really drunk and maybe it would feel just as alien the next time, he’s trying to shove his dick up someone’s ass.

Eren’s personality is bright. From what Levi knows so far, he can tell that he has a sunny demeanor, laughs a lot, is funny but also attentive, empathic and serious when he feels the need to be. Levi could definitely fall in love with that, if there wasn’t a cock attached to it.  
Could he develop romantic feelings for Erwin? He’s smart and gentle and always willing to help. Has a nice, soothing voice too.

Levi feels himself shiver in horror. No, Erwin is too absurd. It’s like trying to imagine a liaison with Hange and she’s female after all. Fucking bizarre.

 

He has spend a good two minutes staring at the man now and only notices the wide grin that had started to spread on Eren’s face somewhere in between, when he finally interrupts him. “Whatcha looking at? Checking me out already?”  
Levi blushes – _fucking blushes_ – and sinks back into the couch with a groan, giving his beer some much needed attention and downing half of it in one go, while Eren starts laughing. “Seriously? Not wasting time, huh?”    
“I’m just trying to figure out, if that…”, he makes a vague gesture with his hand in Eren’s direction, “… would – as you put it so nicely – ‘ _get me going’_.”  
“It certainly did yesterday!”, Eren snickers and Levi… Levi just groans in embarrassment again.  
“Not helping, Eren. Not helping.”

Eren’s laugh fades and they fall silent. The boy nursing his beer, while Levi starts playing absentmindedly with his wedding band – apparently a new habit, as of yesterday.  
“Must be difficult”, Eren murmurs eventually, his eyes fixed on Levis ring finger.  
“Yeah, it is. Will be even harder on her.”  
“So, you’re going to tell her?”  
He nods and Eren bites his bottom lip, a short crack of insecurity in his overall confident attitude.  
“Shit… I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.”

It sounds sincere and makes Levi smile a little, not because the topic is a happy one, but because Eren seems to care to some extent, maybe even feels a little responsible for the whole ordeal – after all it takes two to tango.  
He can’t blame the brat though. It isn’t Eren’s fault, that other people make bad choices. It’s his job and he’d be damn bad at it, if he refuses clients, because he doesn’t like their reasons for ending up in his bed.

Levi doesn’t know how many of the guys who’ve fucked him were allowed in his living room, but he makes a wild guess, that it’s pretty rare and that doesn’t feel too bad either and the way Eren talked with him – honest and genuine – and shows concern now, makes Levi feel like he has an ally, someone who doesn’t judge him – because he knows Hange and Erwin do, even if they try to be supportive – and just takes it all in without wanting something back.  
It’s nice and he doesn’t give a shit if it’s fatuous to think that way, because it feels good and warms him on the inside.

“Thanks, Eren. For… talking with me.”, he mutters to voice his appreciation.  
“Anytime.” The brat grabs his shoulder again and squeezes it, just like he did in the bar, but his fingers linger a little longer now and brush over his biceps ever so lightly when he finally retrieves them. It’s short and really just the faintest trace of a touch, that could mean everything or nothing at all, but Levi feels his Adam’s apple bob when he swallows.  
“I… uh…”, he hastily looks at his watch and gets up, while he speaks, Eren still smiling like there’s not a single problem in the world. “… I should get going. It’s pretty late.”

“Sure thing.”, he gets up as well and leads Levi to the entrance, which is really just three huge steps but he does it anyways and unlocks the door, while the man puts his shoes on.  
“If there’s anything else you want to talk about or if you just want to hang out, give me a call, ok?”  
Levi stills for a second, because the first thing his damn filthy brain interprets from Eren’s words is ‘ _if you want to fuck again_ ’, but he dismisses that thought when he looks at the boys friendly, open expression.

It only leaves him more confused though, because why does the kid want to hang out with someone twice his age, who could be his father? What would they even talk about, now that the basic introduction part is over? Or does Eren’s idea of a good evening only consist of getting drunk with god knows who?  
So he finishes tying his shoes to leave the Teenagers apartment and says “Yeah sure.”, even though the only thing he’s absolutely sure about is, that they won’t hang out anytime soon.

 

~~~

 

They hang out the next day. And the day after. And the day after that too and _Sina_ starts to feel like a second living room for Levi, one and a half weeks after their conversation on Eren’s couch.

He hasn’t told Petra yet, but it’s only a matter of time. Levi knows it’s coming and it’s a miracle that she hasn’t uttered a word about him being out and about every single day of the week until late at night and the few times they see each other are usually filled with silence or short, curt conversations about what to eat for dinner or when they have their next appointment with the dentist.  
He’s not complaining though, because he still doesn’t know where he wants to go from here and one of the reasons for that is probably, that he’s indulging into relaxed evenings at a bar instead of sorting his life out.

Armin allows him behind the counter after his fifth visit, so that he can make a proper tea instead of drinking the blondes attempts on brewing it by throwing some cheap-ass bags, that have probably been rotting away at the bar since the time when Armin’s ancestors were still hunting with spears and slingshots, into hot water.

The barkeeper is warming up to him gradually and Levi can only speculate that Eren has probably had a talk with him at some point, but even Armin’s initial hostile behavior is relatable for him and he doesn’t take it to heart, because yes, it is kind of weird for a man his age to hang out with some kids at a bar all the time.  
It’s even weirder when he considers the fact that he has paid one of them for a fuck at some point.

They’re done with that part though.  
He doesn’t pay Eren and he doesn’t screw Eren, he just talks to him and laughs with him and the bashfulness he has felt during their first two encounters is gone by now.  
He doesn’t look at the man and remembers how his own cock was buried in the kids’ tight asshole – usually he just remembers Eren’s big, green eyes when he thinks about him and that’s exactly what he looks at, what he sees, when he meets the kid and spends the night with him and Armin.

Eren is great company. He’s young and it shows, when he doesn’t get Levi’s cultural references or they’re discussing their opinions on certain topics and Eren’s approach is a little naïve or not as well thought through as Levi’s, but the kid always takes it in stride, isn’t intimidated and doesn’t get annoyed when Levi proves him wrong.  
The good side, the _great_ side of it is, that it also shows when Eren talks about something he’s interested in or when he explains what he plans for his future or for a summer trip.  
It shows when he talks about his family, his friends or little things that happen in his daily life, like when the neighbors’ cat had followed him from the house up to the grocery store and he eventually gave in and picked the fur ball up to bring him back to the house, because he was convinced that the cat would keep tracking him through the whole damn store and he wasn’t so sure, how the staff there would like it.  
There’s a spark in his eyes during all of these topics and his voice and his words show, that he still has that fresh, open look at the world and that the small things can still excite him. That he loves life and is positive and impatient and curious, not yet weighed down by responsibilities and setbacks and all the other crap that gets thrown in your face along the way.

And while Levi knows that he’s never going to have that exact mindset again – because he’s older and he can’t just push everything he has experienced and that has shaped him as a person aside – he still figures, that it would be good to at least pick up some of Eren’s attitude. That it might be better to sometimes just say “fuck it” or “let’s go for it” instead of always doing the _right_ thing or to just stop for a moment from time to time and find a little joy in something insignificant, like filling a break at work with sitting outside and enjoying a cigarette and a really good tea while listening to the sounds around him and watching the passing pedestrians.

Levi finds, that he can learn a lot from the boy aside from the things Eren actively tells him, just from the way he talks and thinks and approaches every day.

 

They tend to meet late – between 9 and 10pm – because Eren is usually _busy_ in the evening, but Levi tries to not give that part of Eren’s life too much thought.  
Armin always makes some small talk with him when he comes in first, which – over the span of a few days – reveals to Levi what a curious little person the man is.  
The blonde has a straight forward, perky personality and is quick-witted and eloquent.  
Put Eren into the picture and Armin is a completely different guy, his confidence making a u-turn and leaving the city, for him to turn into a heavily blushing, mumbling little thing, who hides his face behind his hands most of the time and Eren really doesn’t help it either – he seems to take great joy from teasing his friend relentlessly and making him squeal in embarrassment by digging up stories or mixing certain names into their conversations.

Levi starts to share a bit more about his life – How he met Petra, how long he’s been married, what he does for a living, stuff about his parents, his friends, what fucking colors he likes. He isn’t all that interesting of a person if he sums it up.

Eren tells him in return, that he came out when he was 17, that he’s turning 20 in a few weeks, by the end of march, and that he’s been living alone for almost two years now, basically packing his things and leaving on the day he turned 18.  
The relationship with his family is good though and it seems that him not living with them takes some credit in that, but he didn’t have a falling out with them that made him move, even if his sister can apparently be incredibly overbearing.  
He just wanted to go out and be on his own and he started his ‘ _job_ ’ shortly before he turned 19 – almost a year ago – and moved into his current apartment a few months later, which made it easier for him to juggle his work with his studies in chemistry, that go moderately well – math being Eren’s Achilles’ heel.

With that being said, it wouldn’t be surprising to feel a little bit disappointed about receiving Eren’s message one afternoon, after two weeks of getting to know him and spending time with him, that he can’t make it that evening.  
What comes as a surprise instead, is that Levi isn’t a little disappointed, but fucking taken aback in the most negative way, spending his dinner with brooding over how bored and lonely he feels.  
Even more surprising is, that he ends up on the opposite side of the street in front of Eren’s house in the middle of the night and takes nervous drags from his cigarette to stop himself from doing something really more stupid.  
The most surprising and absolutely _worst_ part though, is how god damn awful it feels, when the door opens and a man in his forties leaves the house with what can’t be described as anything else but a fucked-out expression, grinning to himself blissfully and walking as if he owns the world.

It sucks.  
It sucks balls and Levi should turn around now, move his ass home and into bed to get at least a few hours of sleep before his alarm is going to rip him from his dreams without mercy and he should _really_ try his best to forget, that he went to Eren’s place and stood on the street like a fucking creep but he climbs the doors to Eren’s apartment slash sex cave instead and it’s too late to come to his senses now, because he already knocked on the door, the sound echoing like a drumbeat that announces his impending doom.

The hallway stays silent for a long moment, that stretches infinitely in Levi’s mind.  
This was a horrible idea, a god damn stupid and idiotic idea and he can’t even say with certainty what has driven him to come here and he’s _so_ close to turning around and running from the building, but it’s too late now.  
It’s too late because he can hear the door being unlocked from the inside and watches in slow-motion as it opens and there is Eren, looking at him with wide, green eyes, water dripping from his head, his arms, his bare chest, down to his boxer shorts, as if he was in the middle of a shower, not even taking the time to dry himself when he heard someone at the door.  
“Levi…?”  
He stares. Can’t stop staring at Eren’s wet hair, his confused face, his toned arms, and his own body starts moving by itself  before he knows what he's doing and he’s finally – _finally!_ – reaching out for the boy as if pushed forward by an invisible hand.


	5. Spilling the beans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why but I've written two chapters today, so here's another :D  
> More weird smut - because so far they can only have awkward sex or fuck like bunnies and I actually just want to write five pages full of sexy time but we're not quite there yet *sniff - and heavy marriage stuffs after.
> 
> And since I wasn't sure if I did a good job with describing Eren's home/mini-brothel combination, I made a picture of it. You can find it [here](https://imgur.com/a/GrGTk).  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Levi is practically flying through the door, flying into Eren’s arms and he can hear himself say _sorry_ and more _sorry_ and _I’m so sorry Eren_ , before he grabs the back of his head and yanks him down to clash their lips together and it feels just like the first time, warm and soft and right, because for reasons Levi will probably never understand, Eren doesn’t hold back, kisses him just as fervently and it’s insane and unfathomable and madness and complete and utter _perfection_.

They barely take a moment to catch their breath, while Levi kicks the door closed and shoves Eren in the direction of the sofa, as if the world is going to end and he’s running out of time, his digits in Eren’s hair, on his shoulders, his arms, his hips, wet with the remnants of his shower.  
The boy is pushed down onto the couch and his hands fly to Levis chest, rip his shirt open, sending the buttons flying in every direction and Eren holds onto him like Levi is his water in the desert, his lifeboat in the ocean and it feels like they’re intoxicated all over again. Not from alcohol but heat and touch and the sound of their wet mouths finding each other and their panting into each other’s ears.

Levi kisses his cheeks, his jaw, his neck, his collarbones feverishly and Eren throws his head back, lids closing and moans Levi’s name and his skin under his lips is the single best sensation he’s ever felt, and he can’t understand for the life of him why it took him so long – so _fucking_ long – to realize that.

Nimble fingers waste no time to find his belt and open his pants, before Eren shoves them into Levi’s boxers, grabs his dick and Levi groans like a rabid animal, jerks Eren’s offending boxer shorts down, the brat pulling him closer by the hip already and he pushes into that heavenly, tight heat, muttering _Eren, Eren, Eren_ while the boy squirms beneath him, whining and moaning and searching for Levi’s lips again.

It’s all so wrong and somewhere in the back of his head he knows, but he can’t give a damn anymore, doesn’t care that he doesn’t even wear a condom while he’s fucking a hooker or that Eren is wet and relaxed and he can slide into him so easily because the brat already had his fair share of cocks today.  
Eren feels perfect and alive under his hands and it doesn’t matter, that he probably didn’t even shower long enough to wash the last guy off his skin because all Levi can see is how beautiful he is with his hooded eyes and his flushed cheeks and his heaving chest and all he wants to do now is grab Eren under his knees to lift them and ram into him and commit those sounds – those sinful, wonderful, hypnotizing sounds – that leave Eren’s mouth to his memory for all eternity.

Their kisses are bruising, Eren’s lips on his mouth, the crook of his neck, his shoulders, to bite and suck and lick between heavy breaths, while Levi’s fingers wander frantic but aimlessly, grabbing a fistful of hair, pinching a soft nipple, catching hold of slim hips once more to slam into him again and again and _again_.  
Eren is almost yelling his name by now, muffled when Levi clasps his mouth with one of his hands and Eren’s cock with the other and Levi can see tears pooling in the corners of the kids eyes but Eren clings onto him, wants him closer still and Levi almost loses his mind when he starts jerking Eren’s member and the brats eyes roll back under sweaty bangs, his hole clenching impossibly tighter.

It’s a frenzy filled with sweat and lust and the slapping sounds of their bodies, colliding over and over again, their names on each other’s lips and Levi can’t stop, doesn’t want to stop, just buries himself in the tender body in a blur of mindless passion, when he feels Eren’s seed spurt over his knuckles and thrusts harder, faster, deeper.  
Thrusts with Eren’s moans and words spurring him on – unintelligible but beautiful like the choirs of heaven in Levi’s ears – before his arms give in and he shoves his face in Eren’s neck, slamming and rutting and emptying himself inside of the boy, giving Eren everything – _everything_ – until he feels bare and weak and there’s nothing left to give.  
  


The bliss that envelopes him feels unearthly, not only because of their entwined bodies, their breaths still heavy from sex, but because he knows Eren’s smile, Eren’s laugh, knows how his eyes widen when he’s happy, how his hands gesticulate when he’s excited, how his voice dips a little when he makes a clever comment and Levi wants this. All of it and more.  
He wants to know what Eren’s face looks like when he sleeps, what he likes to eat, what music he wants to listen to and if he sings while he does the dishes or takes a shower.  
It’s stupid and childish and it may not be love yet, but Levi wants it to be one day and he doesn’t want to spend another hour or minute or second where he doesn’t learn these things about Eren and realizing that is all it takes for his thoughts to turn sour.

It’s all it takes to make his guts churn and the gentle silence, only filled with the low sounds of their breathing, that seemed so peaceful a few seconds ago, is bone-crushing now, because Levi is about to lose himself in some ridiculous infatuation while Petra is sitting at home, knowing nothing. Is about to have a crush on a whore, who’s going to get laid by the next best guy in a few hours and he feels everything slipping away from him from one second to the other, can’t hold on any longer to the good feelings, the clarity and bliss that filled his head before.

Just what was he thinking? He must have been out of his mind to come here in the first place and he feels himself grow cold and become furious - not angry with Eren but with himself – and it’s the strangest feeling because his body is still high on hormones but his mind is filled with poison now.

He can’t believe he did this. To Petra, to the kid, because he didn’t solve anything, just keeps running away and rips more wholes into everything and everyone around him along the way and for what?  
For a brief moment of indulgence? For a quick fuck?

Eren has become his _friend_ , had opened up to him and helped him, when he was confused and lonely, only for Levi to treat him like the prostitute he is, because what in the world could come from this?  
He isn’t going to tell Eren that he’s madly in love with him, because he isn’t and he can’t expect something from a person who fucks him for money, especially not to drop his job because Levi is _interested_ and want’s to see where they can go from here.  
Hell, the whole quickie on the couch was probably just overtime for Eren.

He forces himself away from the boys embrace, his stony expression unsettling Eren, when Levi stares down at him, barely containing his emotions and watching how his own cum trickles out of the mans hole, soiling the couch below.  
It just makes him feel sick and nauseous.

“Levi…?”  
Eren frowns and reaches out to him, brows furrowed now but Levi just recoils in disgust, disgust with himself, because he really did this again and there is no alcohol to blame, just his own idiocy and he yanks his pants up and he grabs what little clothes he has shed, and he needs to get out of here _right fucking now_.

The brat gets up hastily on shaky legs to stop him but Levi is already at the door and opens it, while Eren still tries to pull his shorts up to cover himself, cover the traces of Levis seed, running down his thighs and he calls out for him, calls his name, calls him to stop but Levi is already through the door,  out of the house and down the street and he doesn’t slow down before his sides ache and his heart races and he can’t keep going any longer.

 

~~~

 

The first thing Hange asks is, who he is, when he shows up in front of her door at roughly 3am with his ripped shirt, crumpled pants and his hair all over the place. The second thing she asks – after realization dawned on her because he answered with _who the fuck do you think I am, fucking four eyes?_ – is, if he got mugged.

He had precisely five options, when he was done with fucking the brat, the first being to not behave like a freaking lunatic and run from the kids house, and staying at Eren’s place instead but he had ruined that without batting an eye because insanity is obviously closing in on him.  
The second option would have been to go home but even though it was late and Petra was most likely sleeping, she was definitely there and he wasn’t going to risk seeing her and letting her have a good look at the hickeys that littered his skin, on the off chance that she woke up upon his arrival.  
That left him with trying to get a hotel room – pretty unlikely to happen, while he was looking like a fucking beggar – and Erwin or Hange as option four and five.

He had decided, that his emotional state was weighing heavier than his desire for a clean environment and ended up knocking on Hange’s door, to avoid Erwins scrutinizing stare in favour of enduring her filth.  


“What happened?”, she shoves a bunch of _stuff? garbage?_ from the couch onto the ground to make space for him, but he’s heading straight for the kitchen, because he doesn’t need the Spanish inquisition.  
What he needs is a fucking tea.

“Give me a shirt”, he grabs a clean cup from the shelf and inspects it, deciding that he needs to rinse it again and puts the kettle on, listening to her rummaging through her apartment, grateful for every second she’s not coming into the kitchen, because he knows that this game of hide and seek lives from burrowed time and will be coming to an end all too soon.

Hange doesn’t disappoint.  
It takes less than two seconds for her to start squealing, when she finally walks into the kitchen with a black t-shirt from god knows who in hand, her fingers pointing at his neck in excitement, before her brain seems to catch up with her and she frowns.

“What happened, Levi?”, she asks again and he knows that he has to answer this time, if he doesn’t want to get kicked out, because Hange is all fun and game when he’s making an idiot out of himself or fucks things up, but that only applies as long as he isn’t dragging other people down with him.  
He could crash his car and she would probably laugh her ass off – provided that he survives –, but ruining Petra’s life with his debauchery is a different story.

“I slept with him again.” And that’s putting it lightly, because he rather feels as if he’s ravaged the kid and they fucked like bunnies, but he’s not going to explain his sexual encounters to Hange in detail.

She heaves a sigh and folds her arms in front of her chest, while he fills his cup, and she nods, when he asks her if she’d like one as well.  
“You know, I’m not going to give you a speech now, because I’m sure you’ve got that covered and you look like shit, but you need to put an end to this.”  
He hands her a steaming mug and she turns in the direction of her living room. “Be a good girl and sit down with me. We can paint our toenails and you can tell me all about how good of a mind-blowing fuck that guy is, since he managed to make you do the dumbest mistake ever not once but twice within two weeks.”  
Her words coax a low chuckle from his lips and he shakes his head. “Should have known that you will still find something in this whole ordeal, that’s worth making fun of. You’re horrible…”  
She laughs in reply and throws herself on the couch, more stuff clattering to the ground in the process. “Maybe. Good thing that you’re here then. Next to you, I look like a saint.”  
  


She is a saint. An obnoxious, loud-mouthed, maniac saint, but a saint nonetheless.  
She doesn’t utter a single word to Erwin and sends Petra a text that Levi is staying at her place without further explanation, leaving it up to him if he wants to bullshit his wife with another lie how he ended up there or come clean with her.  
She doesn’t condone what he does but for now, she doesn’t interfere. If it’s because she’s a good friend and trusts him to do the right thing, or because she has faith that Levi will manage to turn his life to shit by himself, he doesn’t know.

And she listens.  
She listens when Levi tells her about the last weeks, tells her about his newfound bisexuality, tells her every humiliating detail about what happened, from the last big fight with Petra to getting picked up by a male hooker, befriending him, only to end up screwing him on the couch a second time. He tells her how he feels about the brat, about Petra and fucking up her life with his selfish bullshit, tells her that he’s probably got some STDs now, that he hates his job and feels lonely and drinks too much lately and that he knows that he has to turn things around but can’t figure out where to start and he talks and talks and talks, more than he has in years. Even more than he has talked with Eren in the last days, until his voice gets hoarse from speaking and from crying the tears that had started to fall at some point without him even noticing.

It’s exhausting and painful and long overdue and when the sun finally starts to rise, he calls in sick and curls up next to her on the couch, letting himself be surrounded by her arms in a gentle hug, they’ve probably both never thought to be possible between them.  
  


When he gets up around noon, he uses her shower to rid his skin of Eren’s scent but it doesn’t help to rid his mind of thoughts about the green-eyed kid.  
Finally leaving the disaster zone that his Hange’s apartment, he heads home at 2pm. Enough time to change, to sort his head out and wait before Petra is going to come back from work at 4pm.

Levi doesn’t feel ready, but reasons, that he probably never will and there is no prolonging their farce of a marriage like this any further, without her knowing that it’s already shattered to pieces. He must come clean.  
She didn’t deserve this to happen, but she deserves to know.  
  


Hearing the front door open a few hours later is like listening to fingernails scratching on a chalk board.  
His hands are shaking, while he’s waiting on the couch for her to enter the room, and he looks like a ghost by now with his pale skin being even more dull and live less than usual, dark circles spreading under his grey eyes, bloodshed from crying and his shoulders slumped by the weight of his conscience.

She’s so beautiful. He still thinks that. With her kind eyes, her slender frame, wearing crème and peach toned clothes that make her appear even softer. Just looking at her breaks his heart.

She tries to give him a peck on the lips when she greets him but he avoids it, asks her to sit down and it’s now that the first traces of worry slip into her expression, but she complies, folds her hands in her lap after taking a seat on the opposite side of the coffee table, and looks at him patiently and it only makes him shake more violently, while he clears his throat to get the words out that need to be said.

_I have ruined everything._

_I have ruined us._

_I betrayed your trust._

_I don’t deserve you and I am sorry._

Levi rubs his face to hide that his eyes well up with tears, while he tries to say something, _anything_ and orders himself not to cry, not now, because he has no right to be broken and grieving when everything that’s happening in this very moment is his own fault and he’s about to hurt this pure, beautiful person in front of him.

“Petra, I need to tell you something.”, he chokes out and his voice almost breaks, the unshed tears obvious now by the way he sounds but he can’t stop, has to say it, has to get over with it and he can lose himself in being the pathetic good-for-nothing he is, when she’s done with him and curses his guts for eternity.

He runs a shaking hand through his hair and swallows before he searches for her eyes again, ready to watch her fall apart. He deserves this. He deserves every second and bearing witness to the downfall of their relationship is only the first part of his well-deserved punishment.

“I had sex with someone else.”


	6. Turnaround

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I swear this was so hard to write and sort of depressing. I got moody and was praying for this chapter to just be done *lol*  
> Well, it is now - thanks god.
> 
> It's not a happy chapter - I warned you! - but it needed to be done and for those of you who have difficulties with this topic: There is no brutal violence here but... still violence (namely a slap in the face)  
> I condemn all forms of domestic violence, no matter if it aims at a woman or a man, no matter if it's a full blown beating or a single slap and I tried to express that in this chapter.
> 
> And now I'm going back to my document and write something happy for the next chapter - YAY :)

It’s like watching a car crash in slow motion, just without destroyed metal and inflated airbags, but Petra’s eyes becoming dull and her whole body still, her bottom lip trembling and all the color draining from her face.  
He would throw himself out of the window or from the rooftop, if it would stop her from looking like this, but there’s nothing he can do to make this easier. Nothing he can think of.

Her hands, neatly folded in her lap only a few seconds ago, alternate between being clenched into fists so fiercely, that her knuckles turn white, and nervously clawing at each other with perfectly manicured fingernails, to leave angry red stripes on the pale back of her hands.

She nods to herself, nods again, nods half a dozen times before she clears her throat and swallows, eyes cast to the ground now and her shoulders shaking from anger or grief or humiliation – Levi can’t tell.  
“Okay…”, another nod.  
“Okay.”, she repeats.  
“It’s good that you’re honest with me.”, her voice is trembling so much, if the situation was a different one, he would be impressed that she still manages to speak but right now it just hurts to listen to her.  
“We can talk about what has been missing… in bed… with me…”  
_Oh god._  
“Maybe get marriage counseling.”  
_Oh god no._  
“Maybe go somewhere for a few days, just the two of us.”, her voice is higher now, bordering on hysterical.

Petra.  
Sweet, sweet Petra.  
He treated her like garbage but she’s still trying, still holding on, still willing to fix it and he can’t fathom from where she pulls the strength to do it and he wants to say yes and wants to give in, because she deserves to be happy and smile again, but he can’t.  
He can’t because there is no denying the truth, no denying that he went to Eren’s place on his own accord, that he slept with him because he wanted to and it’s horrible that he did it and it was absolutely stupid and the worst possible way to figure out his feelings, but he knows that he can’t stay by her side anymore. He can’t be her companion in life any longer and she can’t be his, because if he wanted this, really, truly wanted it to be that way and stay with her, he would’ve never done this, would’ve never pushed thinking about her and her feelings aside so easily, while he lost himself in Eren’s arms.

Levi exhales a shaky breath, pressing his forehead against his folded hands, his elbows resting on his knees, back hunched, his whole posture a reflection of how pathetic and worthless he feels.  
“Petra… No… I can’t be with you anymore…”

The tears start falling, smudging her makeup and leaving dark streaks on her cheeks and she’s still so, so beautiful, but there’s something else in her expression now. Something that glints in her eyes, while her lips press into a thin line and suddenly the switch is flipping, Petra jumping to her feet and she yells. Yells so loud that it makes him flinch.  
“What, you found a good fuck and now you dump me for her? Is that it Levi?!”

It takes all the energy he got left to stay seated, because muscle memory already wants to make him get on his feet too, shout and scream and throw things because this is how it always is, how they always fight, with him being furious and lashing out, but has no right to do it, has no right to dare doing it and he’s forcing down the anger that bubbles in his stomach and shakes his head while his fists clench.  
“No Petra, there’s no one. I –“  
“Do you think I’m an idiot?”, she interrupts him, makes him struggle for words.  
“What? No! Why would I –“  
“You’ve been going out every night for weeks! You didn’t come home last night and now this?! Do you think I can’t put two and two together?! Who is it?!”  
“Petra, that’s not how it is –”  
“ _STOP LYING TO ME!!_ ”

He swallows, looks down on his hands in silence, while he can hear her breathing, harsh and loud from crying and yelling and rage and he almost answers, right then and there but forces himself to hold back, because nothing will come from it.  
She knows the truth, knows that he was unfaithful and that their marriage is over and there’s no use in putting more salt into her wounds. It won’t change anything, it will only hurt her more.

“I’m not leaving you for anyone, Petra. There’s no one.”  
“I can’t believe you. You don’t even have the guts to tell me?”, her answer starts in a hushed whisper, volume rising with every single word until she’s practically shouting at him again, her whole body shaking from emotion now, while she looks down on him and it becomes harder and harder to just take it in and not yell back at her, the tension evident in his straining voice.  
“There is nothing to tell, Pet –”  
“Don’t you fucking ‘ _Petra_ ’ me!! Who is it? Who was worth wrecking our marriage for you?!”  
“That’s not the point –“  
“Fucking _ANSWER ME_!”  
Levi jumps to his feet, every rational thought leaving the building and he yells back at her, because if that’s what she wants, he’s going to give it to her and it’s her own god damn fault if she doesn’t take ‘No’ for an answer. “ _IT WAS A PROSTITUTE!!_ ”

They look at each other, stunned and still, her eyes going wide in her flushed face and she seems speechless for a moment, before she talks again, her voice quiet and defeated now.  
“You paid someone to cheat on me?”  
“Yes Petra,” his voice is lower as well, but the anger hasn’t left him yet. “I met a hooker, I paid and I fucked that whores little assho – “ He feels his head fly to the side, a sharp sting on his cheek and he stares into nothing for a moment, then stares at her in surprise and she looks just as dumbfounded as him.

“Did you hit me?”  
It takes a long moment to gather his wits because if he had been sure of one thing in their relationship, it was that they would never raise a hand against each other but apparently, he’s lost that privilege. “Did you… _FUCKING HIT ME_?”  
The shock is evident in her face, as if she has just discovered a side of herself she never knew existed but it’s washed away as quickly as it appears, replaced by an murderous glare, her face scrunched up in a mask of anger, her skin red and blotchy, her cheeks wet and dirty and her mouth almost white from how hard she’s pressing her lips together.  
“Yeah… Yeah, I hit you… And you know what? You fucking deserve it, _ASSHOLE_!”

She is out of the room in the blink of an eye, grabbing her purse, her keys and her shoes, not even bothering to put them on, before she slams the door and Levi is left in an empty house, not knowing how to feel. Not knowing if he should be pissed and fuming because of what she did or mad at himself for bringing out the worst in her by inflicting so much pain and anger in the petite redhead.

He sinks back into the cushions of his couch, releasing a trembling breath, while he rubs his burning cheek with quivering fingers.

It’s done.  
It’s over.  
And there is nothing left to do now but trying to pick up the pieces of his pathetic, broken life.

 

~~~

 

Petra doesn’t come back.  
Levi takes the rest of the week off, tries to calm down and to think about his future steps.  
He calls Hange on the next day but doesn’t say much, just tells her that he talked with his wife and it looks like they’re done for good, because Levi doesn’t indulge in the illusion that they will ever be able to talk to each other in a normal way or as friends again.  
He wants it but it’s hard to imagine and probably a problem for another day.

Hange calls him back two days later, to tell him that Petra is staying with her parents at the moment and intends to keep it that way for now and he is somewhat relieved when he hears it, because they may not be able to stay under the same roof without more drama, until they’ve sorted their life’s out.

So, he starts searching for apartments and can only guess, that she’s doing the same.  
They will have to sell the house, with none of them being able to pay the loans and upkeep and taxes in order to keep it, by themselves.  
He bans all the booze from his home after the night of their fight, because he had drowned himself in alcohol so hard, that he barely made it into the shower the next day and it was probably enough to wreck his liver for the rest of his life.

He picks up jogging again, even if he’s never really had any fat on his body, blessed with a fast metabolism and good physique – if you ignore the fact that he’s a dwarf – but he’s been slacking lately and wants to feel on the top of his game again.  
It does wonders for his otherwise depressing mood, leaves him feeling awake and refreshed when he’s done with his morning run, but if it doesn’t help shaking off the loneliness he feels in the evenings when he’s sitting in their house that seems empty and way to big now.

When the weekend arrives, he’s checking out new apartments in different parts of the city.  
Levi doesn’t want to stay in this area with his boring middle-class neighbors who style their gardens and homes to perfection.  
He doesn’t fit in here, not anymore.

Monday comes, and he signs a lease for a new place, not far from Eren’s place and the bar he’s been frequenting with the man and he doesn’t know what to make of it, feels ambivalent, but the place is relatively cheap and has a great layout while the house is clean and in good condition. He can see himself getting comfortable there.

He goes back to work during the day, even though he hates his job, because he can’t be picky now and needs to postpone the search for another position in favor of having a bit of financial security to furnish his new place and not waste any more money than necessary. God knows the divorce is going to be expensive enough.

During the nights he’s mostly miserable. Sometimes he calls Hange but the rest of the time he just feels sad and alone and it gets so crushing and all-consuming, that he finally sends Eren a text, almost two weeks after running out on the boy, with an apology and a very vague explanation about things being a little difficult for him lately and Eren answers on the next day, saying there are no hard feelings but it’s going to be 200 bucks this time, because he didn’t use a condom.

He buys a new phone the next day, his former device broken from being thrown at the wall in irritated frustration.

Two days later they meet at Sina, so that he can give Eren his money, with Levi actually being glad after his initial outburst, that the kid is at least still talking to him.  
Eren seems to draw a clear line and it may not be what Levi wants or is hoping for, but it resembles some sort of stability that he can hold on to in his otherwise chaotic life, suddenly shaken to it’s very core.

The kid is all smiles and giggles as always but they only do small talk, don’t dive into what happened between them or what has been going on for Levi lately and when they leave from the bar and Armin’s critical glares, they’re drunk again and it’s not the same anymore but they still end up in Eren’s apartment, don’t even make it through any of the doors in the small corridor, because he just bends the kid over and takes him from behind right there against the wall, his heart and his wallet a lot emptier when he finally leaves.

He calls the next day, to ask if they want to meet at the bar again and for the second time since they know each other – only a month now –, Eren declines and tells him that he can’t befriend his customers or take money for a fuck from his friends.  
Levi tries not to be bitter about falling into the latter category, about Eren not telling him that they can have a drink and need to stop making out, but opting for erasing Levi from his private life to be a booty call for quick cash instead, but it’s difficult and he decides not to see him again to protect the remains of his shriveled heart.

  
Levi moves out on a weekend, almost three weeks after making his marriage go to shit with his confession, and leaves Petra a message on her voice mail, that he’s gone.  
Erwin and Hange help to carry and drive the few things he’s taking from their house to his new place, that has already been furnished a few days prior, when everything he ordered from a local store, had arrived.  
He doesn’t want to keep any of the stuff that Petra had picked out and carefully arranged in their former home, but only takes a few trinkets and document folders, his tea set and his clothes as well as a bonsai he’s been nursing for ages, a gift once made by a colleague who’s name he doesn’t even know anymore.  
It doesn’t even take them an hour to be done with it.

Settling in is easy enough, but his apartment, albeit smaller than the house, still feels empty, so he invites his friends a few times, talks about everything and nothing while they devour a plate of cheese and a bottle of wine and when Hange and Erwin leave, he feels lonely again and thinks about getting a cat.

It’s been two weeks since he gave Eren his cash and has been denied another night out, when he stands in the grocery store one afternoon and spots a mob of brown hair in front of the dairy shelf.  
He doesn’t know why it’s surprising him that much, Eren is living in close proximity after all, but maybe the thing that puzzles him isn’t spotting Eren in a store without feeling ready for it but the way he’s reaching out again on auto-pilot, his feet closing the distance and now and a month after he’s been knocking on the brats door in the middle of the night, just to fuck him senseless on the couch and run away from it, he’s in the same spot again. Doesn’t think, just acts and before he knows what he’s doing, his hand is already grabbing Eren’s shoulder to make him turn around, while he mutters his name

“Levi!”, Eren shoots him a surprised look. “What are you doing here?”  
He points at his cart, full of food and cleaning articles. “Shopping, I guess…”

Eren smiles his signature smile, chuckles, before he takes some milk and dumps it in his basket.  
“Well, it’s nice to see you, but I better get going.”, and he starts moving but Levi grabs his arm and stops him, not willing to leave things like that, not willing to watch him walk away.  
“Wait!”  
The brat looks startled but stops, doesn’t yank his arm away from Levi and he seizes the moment, before Eren can change his mind, just blurting out the first thought that comes to mind.  
“Want to have dinner with me?”

There’s a multitude of emotions flickering over Eren’s face, because he really isn’t one to hide his feelings. It starts with glee, morphing into confusion, reluctance and settles into something resembling a pitiful look, before he averts his eyes, slightly shaking his head.  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Levi…”  
“Why? Are you booked for the evening?”, he retorts and regrets it immediately because there may be no real venom in his voice, but it still sounds bitter, almost spiteful.

Eren glares at him for a moment, obviously having some sort of reply on the tip of his tongue and Levi almost expects a ‘ _fuck you’_ , since that seems to be all he can do lately – make people frown and curse – but the boy swallows it down, which only serves to remind Levi that he’s a client, because you may bicker with your friends but not your customers.  
“That’s not the point and you know it, Levi.”  
“I’ll pay you!”, he answers without a second thought - without any thought really, because his brain had no part in saying it and is having a hard time to catch up, so when the words finally settle in he repeats them, as if to show his conviction to the brat. “I’ll pay you, Eren.”

The man snorts with laughter, his face scrunched up in amusement. “I’m not an escort, you know”?  
“Does it really matter?”, he counters, almost defiant now and he’s already chastising himself as soon as the words leave his mouth.  
Of course there is a difference. People may think that being a hooker means being cheap but he actually believes that it’s not that simple, that you have to be up for it to have a date for money instead of just having sex and it may be easier to give away your modesty than risking to give away your heart and Eren had clearly chosen which of the two he prefers.

Levi lowers his head. He knows he’s being rude and he’s waiting for Eren to give him a good verbal beating but the man just laughs again.  
“Guess not.”, he pulls his cellphone from his back pocket and looks at the time. “It’s only 3:40 though. How about 500 and we meet at 6pm and the night is yours?”

He feels himself nod – probably with an open mouth, gaping like a fish, judging by Eren’s chuckle.  
“Send me a text where you want to meet. See you at six.”  
And with that he’s walking again, leaving Levi standing in the middle of the store, overcome with sudden giddiness while his mind is already rapidly scrolling through all the restaurants he knows in town.


	7. Too good to be true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi have some questionable dates and some sexy time and Levi comes to understand that he actually might be quite attached to the kiddo BUT, would be way too easy if things would just be all sunshine and rainbows now, riiiight? :D
> 
> In other words: Levi being a pathetic crybaby that "wants Eren/ doesn't want Eren/ rinse and repeat" ain't over yet, but don't worry, I've got you covered, because Hange is on her way to give Levi a piece of her mind in the next chapter :P
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

He is already standing in front of the _Maria_ , when Eren arrives five minutes too late.  
Levi hates it when people are tardy, but he doesn’t give a shit that he had to wait for the brat, feeling way too happy when he finally sees him striding down the street in his direction, relieved that Eren didn’t stand him up at the last minute.

The kid has left his t-shirts at home tonight, wearing a slim fitted button-up shirt and Levi thinks that he looks pretty dressed up, even if it’s just a single different item with the boy still wearing some tight jeans as usual and the wind breezing through his chaotic mob of fluffy hair.

He had wasted no time to find a place to eat dinner after their encounter, had considered all the restaurants he knew in town from years of living here but had eventually decided to try something new, because he had frequented every spot he could think of together with Petra, for a date or to celebrate birthdays or promotions or anniversaries and he doesn’t want to sit somewhere just to be reminded of that, while he tries to have a good time with Eren.  
500 bucks is a lot of money, so he might as well enjoy himself fully.

The boy stays true to his word.  
He isn’t an escort, doesn’t make up stories just to humor Levi and has difficulties at times to keep their small talk going, not having mastered the art of bullshit conversation.  
It’s a bit strained and awkward in the beginning, but at least it’s authentic and Levi likes it that way, likes to have the real Eren in front of him, not someone who paints a fake picture of himself and by the time their appetizers arrive, they’re back to their usual banter, just like back in the days when they had met at Sina every day.

Levi has given his sudden ‘date’ some thought, or rather why he is having it, because spending so much money for an evening seems a little ridiculous at second glance, maybe even desperate, but he can’t help that he wants to spend time with Eren. Can’t help that despite being surprised and nervous and a little scared, he was also happy to spot the young man in the supermarket and that, if he’s reaching into himself to face his emotions with honesty, he realizes that he missed him.  
Not missed screwing him, even if it felt great every time, because not only is he still trading carefully in that department and doesn’t really have much confidence in his abilities at having gay sex, but because first and foremost Eren is not a fuck toy to him.  
He’s a beautiful person that he was lucky enough to get to know and what he missed is Eren’s bright personality. His laugh, the way he talks and gets excited and how he always seems to brim with happiness and energy.  
Eren makes him feel good, no matter if he’s a hooker or half his age or of the same gender. He makes Levi feel like himself and he knows that it’s just a brief moment of luxury in his life, that Eren isn’t meant to be his, but he’s been feeling like shit for weeks now and if this is all he can get, he’ll take it.  
Take it and enjoy it and commit it to memory, because he doesn’t have to feel like crap about meeting Eren anymore.  
Petra is gone and the only one he has to explain himself to now, is his own picture in the mirror.

He’s noticing a shift in Eren’s face, when their main dishes arrive. A mix of surprise and curiosity, that makes Levi lift an eyebrow and cock his head a little, while the kid stares at his _arm? hand? maybe his knife is dirty?_  
“Oi, what is it?”  
Eren snaps his head up, not wincing but almost, before he points at Levi’s right hand. “Where’s your wedding ring?”

He sighs, while the brat drops the million-dollar question and puts his knife down, to look at his fingers, the dent from the ring gone now, but the skin still slightly paler, where he used to wear it.  
“I… I don’t…”, he clears his throat. “There’s no point in wearing it anymore.”

“Oh…” Eren looks up at his face, looks down to his hand again and repeats the process a few times, his expression resembling one of a kicked puppy now.  
“I’m sorry…”  
Levi shakes his head, vehemently so. “Don’t. It’s okay.”, and he really believes it when he says it.  
He knew all along that it was the right decision, but it seemed impossible during the last weeks to be happy about it or content or at least relieved, while he was sitting at his fucking job during the day and in his empty apartment at night, but now, being here with Eren, it’s feeling better.  
Not good, but he will get there, and he wonders if that’s what healing feels like.

“I guess, she didn’t take it to well then…” Levi barely hears the boy mumble the words, still half focused on his new realization and he tries to give Eren a smile to cheer him up a little, finds it somewhat endearing that the brat seems to have a harder time with handling the news than Levi himself.  
“No, she didn’t. But it wouldn’t have made a difference either way.”

Eren’s eyes go wide and his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows. “ _You_ broke up with _her_?”, and Levi can’t stop himself from barking out a short laugh, when he sees the disbelief in Eren’s face.  
“Is that really so surprising? I had sex with someone else. Several times. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that I wasn’t leading a happy marriage.”  
He can tell that the kid almost grins from his snappy comment, obviously trying to suppress it to do the heavy topic some justice and Levi think’s that Eren would probably be giggling like a little kid now, if he knew the whole story, knew how hypocritical his statement is because it certainly took him _damn long_ to figure it out.

“Guess you’re right about that.” And he smiles and Levi isn’t sure what exactly is making him so darn happy but he’s not going to question it in favor of wallowing in Eren’s delight.  
“So what are you doing now?”, he asks eventually while he picks up his fork again to go on with devouring his meal – some random pasta dish with too much garlic, Levi can smell it at the other end of the table – in a way that lacks even the smallest hint of table manners and should be forbidden.

So he tells him.  
He talks about his new apartment and that he thinks about getting himself a pet because it’s hard to stand the silence. He talks about his job, still being as horrible as ever and that he wants to find somewhere else to work. He tells him, that he started running in the morning again, that he reads a lot now and brushed up on his rusty cooking skills, because he always enjoyed it but hasn’t done it much in the last years with his ex-wife handling most of the house work.

And Eren listens.  
Carefully and attentive and with an encouraging smile that never leaves his face, while the hours fly by.  
It feels like they’re old friends, with Levi pouring his heart out and the brat giving him his full attention, asking a few thoughtful questions here and there and mixing in a comment from time to time, that makes Levi chuckle and he can’t help to get enraptured by how the kid behaves, way beyond his age.  
Eren is smart and empathic and lovely and Levi prides himself on the fact that he sensed that all along. That there is so much more to learn. That Eren has so much more to show.

Everything feels so different now. The awkward beginning of their dinner with the clear purpose of exchanging money for a date is long gone and long forgotten, with both of them so comfortable and close now and when they arrive in front of the kid’s place, after Levi walked him home, and he attempts a good-bye kiss, Eren reciprocates. Lets Levi hold him in a gentle embrace during the even gentler touch of their lips and his voice is a whisper, almost nervous, when he avoids Levi’s eyes and asks him to come inside and have a coffee together.

 

~~~

 

Being back in Eren’s apartment feels like a victory and Levi can barely contain just how good and happy he feels, even if he’s going to put down money for this at the end of the day.

The kid makes coffee, but neither of them drink much of it while they sit on the couch, cuddle on the couch, hold each other in their arms on the couch, with Levi running a hand through Eren’s soft hair, the boy telling him, that it has been a nice dinner and him agreeing, placing a peck on the crown of Eren’s head.  
It’s calm and peaceful and Levi feels content for the first time in a long while.

When Eren finally lifts his head from his chest, they look at each other with tender expressions and their faces move slowly, without haste, as if pulled by invisible strings, until their lips meet in a chaste kiss and Levi thinks that it’s alright if he’d die now.

Eren’s real bedroom is more cramped, with closets and a dresser but he doesn’t really take the time to properly look at it all, his eyes glued at the man in front of him, laid out on the mattress.

Levi takes his time undressing him, not in a hurry while he opens button after button, to reveal caramel skin, illuminated only by the small lamp on Eren’s bedside table and when the man sits up eventually, to slip the shirt from his shoulders, Levi takes him into his arms again, buries his face in the crook of Eren’s neck to smell his skin and the faint scent of his cologne, pressing delicate kisses on Eren’s jaw.

The boy’s curious hands wander to the hem of Levi’s thin cashmere sweater and lift it ever so slightly, just enough to run his thumbs over the small strip of skin that shows, sending a gentle shiver over his abdomen.

They’re careful in every touch, every movement and it almost feels fragile in the most beautiful way, because Levi is sure that this is something he can’t buy, that nobody can buy, and he wants to cherish it, wants to cherish the moment, wants to cherish Eren. Doesn’t want to fuck him into the mattress but make love to the boy who has helped him to see who he really is, what he really feels, the boy who has shared his advice, his body and his smile with him.  
He isn’t confident when he’s touching Eren – the young man being the professional, while he feels like a newborn on shaky legs – but he let’s his wish to show his care for him guide his hands and lips.

Eren is warm, so warm that Levi is convinced he would feel it, even if he was frozen to his core.  
His hands, his lips, his skin, even the glimmer in his eyes, feel like bathing in the sun and it becomes more and more addicting by the minute to look at him, run his hands over Eren’s body, kiss his lips and neck and rub his cheek on his chest to revel in the sensation of how smooth and soft it is.

Eren’s finger caress Levi’s cheek, after lifting his sweater over his head and discarding it to the ground, and draw a soft path down to his collarbone, brush the sensitive, pink nubs on his chest, his belly button and the thin trail of hair, that disappears in his pants.

Levi is making a promise to himself this night, vowing, that he won’t stop before he’s touched and tasted every square centimeter of Eren’s body and even if it’s still new and unknown, he doesn’t hesitate when he opens the other man’s pants and bends down, takes in Eren’s scent and peppers his groin with tender kisses.  
The soft sigh, that escapes from the boys’ lips, when Levi’s tongue licks the first hot, wet stripe along Eren’s member, must be the most beautiful sound in the world.

Levi knows perfectly well, what a dick is. He has one himself, just never had it in his mouth, but even if he did, this right here, gently lapping at Eren’s skin, would be something entirely different. It’s uncharted territory but it doesn’t intimidate him, instead he feels himself relax, enjoying the salty taste of Eren’s sweat and Eren’s precum, the little sounds he makes and the slow movements of his body, while Levi licks and sucks and nibbles, not getting enough, wanting more, wanting _everything_ Eren is ready to give to him.

With both hands on the back of Eren’s knees, he lifts his legs and the boy complies, would probably let him bend him this way and that, to let Levi marvel at the sight, that, only a few weeks ago, he wouldn’t have thought to ever find so erotic and so enticing.

Eren’s hands find Levi’s hair, not pulling, not tugging, just running through the black strands and it’s all it takes to spur him on and burry his face in the boys crotch again, after placing a soft bite on his thigh, to taste and smell and kiss until his tongue finds Eren’s entrance, curious but cautious, slowly gaining more confidence, encouraged by the low moans and short breaths leaving the young man’s mouth.

Penetrating Eren’s body with his tongue and fingers, knowing that only Levi felt and touched him today and the young man’s hips open up for him and nobody else tonight, is almost soothing.  
He’s careful, so, so careful, afraid to displease or hurt the kid, and his fingers move so agonizingly slow while they glide into him, that Eren eventually cups his cheek with one hand and tells him that he doesn’t need to be nervous, that he’s used to it and Levi can only respond with a breathless chuckle. Can’t be bothered by the implication, doesn’t feel jealousy or envy, because in this very moment, Eren is his and he’s sure, so absolutely sure, that none of his clients have every seen him this way.

“Here?”, he asks, when Eren is clenching down, releasing a soft sound, and the young man nods with a smile, while Levi keeps rubbing and massaging his tender walls with slippery fingers and when Eren comes, encased by Levi’s lips fondly sucking him again and with attentive fingers caressing him inside, it’s not with moaning, panting and squirming but with a peaceful sigh, his eyelids fluttering and the last bit of tension leaving his muscles while he empties himself in Levi’s mouth.

  
When he finally slides into Eren and surrounds himself with his wet heat, it feels so familiar, like coming home, and absolutely new and different at the same time.  
He had asked him if he wants to stop, content with what they had shared, but Eren had shaken his head and rolled them over to lift himself onto Levi and take him in with smooth, fluid movements, their position the same as the first time they came together but feeling nothing like it at all.

Eren is beautiful with his flushed face and glistening skin and Levi doesn’t hesitate to tell him that whenever the kid bends down to seal their lips, whispering sweet nothings into his ear and how good he feels, how perfect he is.

The distance, the strange detachment he felt the first time is gone and made place for the closeness he feels when Eren’s fingers run through his hair and over his skin, to end up wrapped around his own member with Levi’s name on his lips, while their bodies move against each other in perfect harmony.  
Levi wants it to last forever, wants to never let go and clings to the young man desperately when his seed spills out of him, drowning him in bliss and if he could wish for one thing in this world to be his and his alone, it would be Eren.  
_Eren, Eren, Eren._  
Always Eren.

 

~~~

 

Eren doesn’t ask him to leave.  
Not this time and not the next two times either, most likely because Levi has single handedly financed the brat’s apartment for the next two months, but he likes to think that it’s something else.  
That Eren doesn’t want to separate so quickly whenever they go out and end up making love in his bed.

He had taken him to another dinner and to the art museum in the course of the next week, both evenings filled with conversations, laughter and skin on skin and apart from his rapidly dwindling bank account, Levi feels elated, because their relationship – whatever kind of relationship this is – seems to gain ground, gain a real foundation, seems to become more than just having a drink and having sex with each other.

Levi always takes the next half day off, when he has a date with the boy, while Eren is gone every time when he wakes up in the morning – to his lectures, if Levi has to make a guess – and he always leaves the envelope with the money on Eren’s coffee table.  
He had seriously considered not to put it down there, just to create another opportunity to see the boy when he has to give him his payment on a later occasion, but he doesn’t want to stretch his luck and risk that Eren is putting an end to their liaison, because falling asleep with the kid in his arms is just as heavenly, as waking up in his bed surrounded by Eren’s scent and Levi doesn’t want to miss either of those two.

  
He’s stretching out on the bed in the morning after their third date and enjoys the tranquility of being wrapped in Eren’s sheets for a moment, before he gets up and saunters to the kitchen, to find some leftover coffee, still hot in the pot, that the brat must have made before he left.

He has to be at work in three hours, enough time to take a shower at Eren’s place, go home and change into fresh clothes, before he makes his way to the office with his mind still clouded in the memories of last night.

It’s nice and domestic to wander Eren’s apartment, sip a coffee and cover his skin with soap that smells like the kid, when he’s washing his body, almost as if he’s strolling through the place of his boyfriend who has already left for his day and it makes Levi think about inviting Eren to his own place, to do the same things, to watch him stumble out of the bedroom in the morning, hair still mussed from sleep, and drink a freshly brewed tea on Levi’s kitchen table.

His conviction to keep the young man by his side has grown during the last week – his previous thoughts of spending time with Eren being a brief indulgence long gone – and he wants to introduce him to his place, his friends, his life more than ever, wants him to get to know Levi even better and the warm feelings, that fill him to the brim while he thinks about inviting the boy to his apartment to cook for him, make him smile like an idiot while he ties his shows and walks out of the door.

  
Stepping into the small corridor though, he freezes in place, his heart growing cold and aching in a way that has become all too familiar during the weeks and months he knows Eren.

He wants to throw up right then and there, while he listens to the erratic thumps and the muted groans that are audible through the door in front of him. The _fucking_ door that he walked through in his first night with Eren, with the _fucking_ bed and the _fucking_ trash can full of used condoms.

But he can’t move for a few long moments, can only listen to the moaning and grunting and the low sounds of skin slapping on skin, that make him want to yell and shout and when his body _finally_ sets in motion – like a puppet, a marionette guided by the hands of the stranger, because he can’t move by himself, can’t think by himself now – he starts running again.  
He runs out of the house and down the street in a horrible déjà vu, a mocking replay of the last time he came to Eren’s place with his head filled of wanting him, wanting more than _this_ and when he slams the door of his own apartment, crying, sobbing like a pathetic idiot, his legs falter and give in, making him sink to his knees and there is nothing – _nothing_ – that can hold back the scream, that fights it’s way up his throat.


	8. Group therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello! Here is the next chapter, finally introducing...  
> LEVI  
> hahaha...ha...
> 
> Jokes aside, Levi is finally coming to his senses while Eren is having a hard time.  
> There is implied violence/abuse in this chapter (yeah, I know that I said this story wouldn't turn into a violent gang fight fic, and it really doesn't... I think... but I ended up writing violence into it, so be warned)  
> It's not graphic but with 'clear results'.
> 
> And there's drugs.
> 
> I would say "enjoy the chapter" but... that would feel inappropriate so, I'll stick with "here you go!".

“Have you been crying again? I swear to god, I don’t even know you anymore! Who are you and what have you done to my cute grouchy gremlin?”  
Levi doesn’t care to answer her, while he’s shoving Hange aside to enter her apartment and – and that’s probably the most concerning – cares even less to move the shit that occupies her couch and just slumps down on it.

“I think I need a drink.”, is what he says, _I think I need some crack_ , is what he thinks and a small pipe, filled with marijuana, is what he gets and ends up smoking with her on the couch, because Hange apparently is not only crazy but also psychic.

“So, you have a crush on lover boy but you’re unhappy about it, because he keeps doing his job?”, she deadpans, when he is finished with ‘Levi’s pathetic story time’ and he gives her a dejected nod.  
“And you pay him to go on dates with you, yeah?”, he shoots her a pointed look, because he can see where this is going and what her tone of voice implies, but he has a real connection to Eren and she makes it sounds worse than it is and it isn’t like that at all.  
…  
Or is it? Is he paying Eren for dates and for sex and for the coffee he gets to drink in the morning in an empty apartment?

 _Fuck.  
_ He nods again.

“Look, …”, she shoves a handful of potato chips into her mouth and Levi can feel himself growing hungry from the pot too, but watching Hange stuffing her mouth makes him dismiss every further thought about eating. “… I don’t want to be the party-pooper here, but maybe you’re just compensating.”

“Compensating?”  
She shrugs. “I’m just saying. You just split up with Petra, you’ve been together for ages and now you feel lonely. Maybe you’re just projecting it at the kiddo, trying to fill the void, you know?”

He falls silent for a moment, tries to sort through his fuzzy thoughts and emotions, dulled from the pot, he should’ve never been smoking. He can’t even remember when he did drugs the last time, isn’t used to that shit and he could really use a clear head right now.  
Then again, at least he isn’t sobbing anymore and feels a little bit relaxed.

“I don’t know…”, is all he can mumble, because maybe Hange is right. Maybe he’s been using Eren to make the dark hole inside of him feel a little smaller, but he can’t fully convince himself of it either, can’t forget all those times he spent thinking about green eyes and a bright smile. All the times he spent with the kid, feeling happy and young and free and all the times their bodies have met, awkward at first but greedy and needy and addicted in the end.

“I’m not sure, but… I think I really like him.”, he sighs eventually, thinking, that yes, he may have doubts – a lot of them – but he knows himself well enough after all these years and the emotions that found their way into his heart can’t be made up. Maybe fueled, magnified by the circumstances, but not less genuine because of it.

“Tell him.”, is all she says, and he frowns in response.  
“What do you mean, ‘tell him’? Tell him what?”  
“That you like him. That he awakened your gay little heart and you need him by your side for all eternity, because there ain’t no booty like Eren’s.”, she grins, and her mocking words only serve to make him frown even harder.  
“Very funny.”  
“A little bit.”, the empty bag of potato chips ends up on the ground, while she licks her fingers. “But not as funny as you think. I actually mean it. Do I have to remind you, that the kid is barely 20 years old? What did you do at that age?”  
He shrugs, doesn’t really want to dive into it, so she answers for him.  
“You were living the life, parties every weekend, drinking and a new piece of blonde trash in your arms every day.”  
Hange has started to make wild gestures now, to accompany her words. “I can’t judge the kiddos character, I’ve never met him, but for all we know, you might as well be a fling to him, even if he reciprocates your feelings to some extent.”  
“He doesn’t seems to be the kind to –“  
“And you!”, she interrupts now, getting worked up all by herself, the longer she keeps talking. “You have to get your head out of your ass. You’ve always been the cool guy, who gave people shit all the time and now you’re always crying like a little sissy, doing nothing but pity yourself. You’re a grown man, Levi, you’re 37 and not 15, so start acting like it!”

He gapes at her, eyes wide like saucers, while she takes a deep breath, finding her cool instantly, and gives him a meaningful look.  
“So, if we sum it all up, what does that leave us with…?”, she finally concludes, and Levi sighs in frustration.  
“… That I need to talk to him.”  
“Good boy! I always loved you more for your brains than your sexy little buttocks.”

“What am I supposed to tell him? _Hey, I like you, how about you get yourself a normal job?_ He’s going to make a run for it.”  
“Don’t ask me, short stuff. I’m just wise and hilarious, Erwin is the man for words.”, her hands fumble blindly for her cellphone. “Do you think he will bring us food? I want Asian stuff. Chop suey. And spring rolls. And wan tan soup. Oh! And fried rice!!”  


Erwin arrives roughly one and a half hours later, loaded like a mule with arms full of boxed food from half a dozen stores all over the city, that he only agreed to go to, because Hange had told him that “ _This is a Levi emergency meeting_ ” and “ _Trust me, you’re going to love this!_ ”.

He steps into the living room, to find his friends sprawled out on the couch, the telltale smell of pot already in his nose, and shakes his head like a parent, ready to reprimand his children.  
“Seems like I missed quite the party here?”  
“Erwiiiin!”, Hange squeals and jumps to her feet, immediately on her way to give him a bone-crushing hug with not a care in the world that his arms are filled to the brim. “So good you’re here! You need to help us! We need to make a hooker fall in love with Levi!”

“Excuse me?”, but Hange has directed her focus at the food now, which leaves him with Levi, who’s slowly sitting up on the couch, his expression deeply relaxed, albeit a little bit apologetic.  
“I guess we have some catching up to do, eyebrows.”  
Hange is still snatching boxes from his arms, cooing at the dishes, as if it isn’t food but human babies and he raises an eyebrow, already feeling a smirk spread in his face, because the lunatic didn’t seem to be lying, when she told him, that he would be going to enjoy this – a lot.  
“Yes, it certainly seem so…”

 

~~~

 

Erwin had the time of his life – Levi is sure of that – while he listened to Levi’s explanations, prodding and poking in his story like a surgeon who had a particularly nasty wound in front of him.  
And of course he did it all with a smile. A fucking wide, nonchalant smile and Levi was too stoned to think about wiping it from his smug face.

But at least he had gotten some advice out of it – aside from listening to all the concerns again, that Hange had already dumped on him an hour earlier – like starting out with smaller questions and getting an idea of how Eren sees his own situation, how long he wants to do this job and what his plan is, if he ever meets someone special.  
Questions, Levi can see himself asking among all the other things they talk about during their dates, because they certainly talked about a lot of private stuff already, talked about the soap opera, that is Levi’s life and his upcoming divorce and asking Eren if he thinks of ever getting a boyfriend isn’t going to be out of the ordinary.

And really, how hard can it be? Erwin is doing this stuff all the time, sweet talking and bullshitting his way through life with people none the wiser when he got what he wanted.  
Then again, it’s Erwin. Tall, charismatic, blue-eyed Erwin with a smile, straight from the wet dreams of every toothpaste advertiser and Levi is… well… Levi. A small, grumpy man turned sniveling wuss who can’t even make it through a single week without either feeling like shit, drinking too much or – as of yesterday – getting stoned.

Doesn’t matter though, because Hange is right. He has to pull himself together and stop crying for mommy. He’s the only one who can change his situation for the better and find solutions for his problems, exactly like when Eren told him, that in the end he must figure it out for himself if he’s into guys or not and that nobody can find the answer to that for him. It’s his own life and he has to start calling the shots again and the first step to that is another meeting with Eren to find out what he wants to know.

  
He sends him a text the next day, asking for another date and the brat agrees, oblivious to Levi’s involuntary ears dropping and his breakdown two days ago, followed by a therapy session with his best friends.  
They want to meet on Friday – three days from now – and Levi is positively surprised when Eren agrees, to come to his place and let Levi cook for him, instead of going out. It leaves him enough time to think ahead how he wants to approach the topics he has in mind, what to cook and to buy the ingredients and he’s sure, that the safety of his own apartment is going to make him feel more relaxed throughout the evening.

  
Shopping and cleaning and – just to be sure – cleaning a second time, is done in a blur and when Friday arrives, he feels elated again.  
He can do this, has to do this and the prospect of spending a whole evening with the brat is the cherry on top of his newfound confidence.

He takes a long shower, when he arrives back home from work, shaves a second time this day to rid himself of his 5 o’clock shadow and starts chopping meat and vegetables when he’s done dressing, with a soft tune and a smile on his lips.

Levi only realizes, that it’s ten minutes past six, when he’s done with preparing his ingredients, but he doesn’t make much of it, is used to the brat being a few minutes late and he decides to postpone cooking a little longer and wait for Eren, who will certainly arrive any minute now.

But he doesn’t.

At 6:20 he’s getting annoyed, because he can’t understand how someone is twenty minutes late who lives a ten-minute walk away. He’s already preparing a speech in his head about Eren’s punctuality, considering that he’s going to receive a shit ton of money for this evening, but ends up dismissing it, because reminding the kid about the type of their relationship isn’t exactly helping his case.

He’s antsy when the clock turns 6:30, pacing his apartment now and giving Eren a call, only to end up listening to his voicemail and when his watch shows 6:40, he’s becoming truly worried, making up all kinds of scenarios in his head.  
Eren falling down the stairs, Eren getting run over by a car, Eren being mugged in the streets.

It takes only three minutes to convince himself that something is wrong, and he grabs his keys and his jacket at 6:43 to leave and find Eren and get to know, what the hell is going on.

There must be a reason for standing him up and Levi can’t bring himself to believe that the brat suddenly forgot their date or didn’t feel like coming, because even if everything they shared means nothing to Eren and everything Levi feels is one-sided, he’d never let 500 bucks pass by just like this, without any text message or call.

 

~~~

 

It’s not unusual, that the door to Eren’s apartment complex is unlocked and Levi enters and makes it through the hallway on the ground floor, passing the bulletin board for the occupants with notes about when to clean the stairs and at what day the trash is picked up during the week.

What is a bit unusual, is the burly, blonde man that is passing him by, when he climbs the first steps, or rather his right arm, that is decorated with angry, red stripes, as if he went toe to toe with a very pissed off cat and Levi doesn’t stop, just keeps going, but he’s already fuming inside.  
He can’t believe the fucking brat, who agreed to meet with him, just to stand him up and fuck somebody else.  
Hadn’t he tried his best during their last evenings, to show Eren care and affection?  
He had gone out with him, had tried to make him laugh and be happy and feel good and all it got him is, that Eren seems to think of him as some kind of pushover, so by the time he’s reaching the kid’s door, he’s already seething.

Levi grabs for the handle, but the door is not even closed, and slightly swings open, when he’s touching it and it makes him frown in worry again, because no, Eren isn’t like that. He wouldn’t stand him up for someone else, he would tell him if something came up and he had no time and he would most definitely make sure, that his fucking door is closed.

His brain is still caught in a confused mix of his rapidly cooling anger and the alarming amount of worries that invade his thoughts, when he steps into the corridor and knocks on the door of Eren’s apartment, only to be met with silence.  
Walking the two steps to the other door takes a huge amount of energy and self-persuasion but he keeps telling himself, that it’s ok, that he’d certainly hear, if someone was _busy_ with the kid in the room at the left side of the corridor, but most importantly, that he’s doing this because he’s worried about Eren, and that making sure, that the kid is alright, weighs heavier than his fear to risk that he’s catching a glimpse at something that can’t be unseen.  
  


Levi doesn’t knock, just opens the door slowly and he spots the bundle that is Eren in a heartbeat, curled into the sheets on top of the bed.  
Is he sleeping?  
He can already feel himself getting annoyed again, when he steps into the room and calls out to the boy.  
“Eren?”

There is no response and he walks closer, to wake the fucking brat and give him a piece of his mind, but as soon as Eren’s face comes into view, he can see that the boy is very much awake, laying on his side and looking at him with green eyes that seem both angry and scared at the same time.  
He can also see that his mouth is taped shut.  
“What the –“, he’s reaching out for the blanket that is carelessly thrown over Eren’s frame and the young man closes his eyes, turns his head away, as if he doesn’t want to see Levi’s reaction to whatever he’s going to reveal and it stills Levi’s hand for a moment, almost makes him reconsider but eventually he grabs the sheet and pulls it away.

Eren is naked.  
Naked and bruised and tied on his feet and on his hands behind his back.  
“Shit.”  
He makes his way around the bed, to free the kid’s wrists first, but as soon Eren’s backside comes into view, he can see the liquid that trickles out between his bottom cheeks and it isn’t clear like lube and it isn’t white like cum either, it’s fucking _pink_.  
Pink like a mix of semen and blood and Levi is wasting no time to grab one of the cheeks to pull them apart, but he’s met with heavy resistance, Eren squirming frantically with an angry shout, muffled by the tape on his mouth.  
“Eren, wait…”  
The kid doesn’t stop crawling away from him and Levi has to force him down on his stomach and press him into the mattress. “Stop moving Eren!”  
Just that Eren doesn’t stop, throwing his head this way and that, his body tensing and twisting, and Levi doesn’t want to add to the abuse that the kid has experienced but he really doesn’t have time for this shit either.  
“Eren! _STOP MOVING!_ ”

The young man becomes still and looks at him over his shoulder like a scared animal with his eyes wide and his chest rising and falling quickly from his hasty breaths.  
“Sorry, I... I won’t hurt you… Just let me take a look, okay?”  
He carefully spreads the cheeks apart, when he receives no reply and casts his eyes to Eren’s red, swollen anus.  
It really doesn’t look pretty but at least it isn’t torn and the traces of blood are so few, that it doesn’t seem like he needs to rush Eren into a hospital immediately.

He frees his hands and the kid tears the tape from his mouth, while Levi removes the shackles from his feet, before he sits down on the bed next to Eren and heaves a sigh.  
“Thanks…”, the boy rubs his wrists, wincing when he tries to sit up and Levi feels absolutely lost with the situation, doesn’t even know where to start, but he’s got to start somewhere, has to say something because this is so blatantly wrong that he can’t just let it sit with him, doing nothing.

“Eren…”, he clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck, internally trying to steel himself, before he’s going down the rabbit hole.  
“… I think we need to talk…”


	9. Relocating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to a new chapter, that took me a lot more time and effort to write - at least that's what it felt like - because I had to cover so many different thoughts and emotions in the conversation between Levi an Eren: How the latter one is obviously shaken but also in denial and still feisty as usual and for Levi who I want to find back to his usual self, to be angry but also worried and taken aback by Eren's attitude and trying to make him snap out of it without getting Eren angry at himself.  
> I rewrote and reworked the whole scene several times and I hope I managed to convey the complicated feelings they carry - especially since I'm only writing from Levi's perspective.
> 
> And now I'm looking forward to writing the domestic fluff, that is coming up in the next chapter *phew  
> Enjoy reading and thanks for all the Kudos and lovely comments, it's been a fun journey so far :)

Eren had fought at first, but eventually submitted to Levi’s attempts to carry him to his apartment and lift him into the tub and Levi couldn’t tell what was worse, looking at Eren’s abused body – because nothing so beautiful should ever look that way, be treated that way – or seeing the indifference in the young man’s face, as if none of this concerned him.

The brat seems to have his very own, very unhealthy coping mechanism and simply starts washing himself with mechanic movements without batting an eye and maybe Levi should be glad that Eren isn’t a quivering mess by now, isn’t crying and screaming but he can’t shake the feeling that this is even worse. Because it’s surreal and wrong and because Eren should allow himself to hurt and it makes Levi see his own behavior during the last weeks in a completely new light, makes him almost feel grateful for all the times he sobbed and felt like shit, even though it was hard to go through that.  
At least he had let it out and didn’t bottle it up, but had cried all the tears until there were no tears left to cry and he had a chance to move on.

But Eren doesn’t cry, doesn’t even talk to him and doesn’t flinch when he’s rubbing blue and purple spots with the washcloth and it makes the rage bubble up in Levi’s stomach with new vigor, because it’s bad enough that someone hurt Eren’s body, but what’s truly sickening is, that someone – some _fucking_ asshole – made Eren stop _caring_ about it and Levi will _NOT_ have it.  
He won’t let this go before he knows exactly what happened and he will talk with the brat, if he wants it or not, because ignoring the fucking elephant in the room won’t make it go away, even if Eren firmly seems to believe that.

“So, tell me…”, he sits down on the closed lid of the toilet, while Eren is soaking in the hot water of his bath. “Did you want this?”  
He can hear the boy chuckle and frowns, because this isn’t fucking funny and he may already know the answer to his question, since there is no denying that Eren looked fucking _terrified_ , when Levi tried to check on his injuries, but he needs to hear the brat say it. “Just answer the damn question, will you?!”

Eren looks up in mild surprise at the impatient, sharp tone in his voice – Levi can’t blame him, because the boy only knows him as a big teddy with a soft spot for tall brunettes –, but the deep scowl in Levi’s face and his no-nonsense attitude have the desired effect and prompt Eren to speak.  
Erwin has always told him, that he has something of a military drill sergeant when things don’t go his way.  
“No, I didn’t want it…”  
“Did you allow it?”  
“No…”, Eren whispers, seemingly exhausted and reluctant to have this conversation.  
“Was it the first time?”, and watching how Eren is closing his eyes, as if he could shut out the conversation and make himself believe, that Levi isn’t sitting in the same room is enough of an answer, but apparently the fire hasn’t left the boy yet.  
“What do you care, Levi?”

He run’s a hand through his black hair and tries his best to keep his voice down when he answers, because he can’t tell if it’s the way he speaks, that is raising Eren’s hackles or the sensitive topic and he doesn’t want to make things worse, but _damn_ he’s pissed. “I _care_ , because I’ve found you beaten and… what? raped?”  
“Oh, and you’re the one who has the answers to all my problems? It’s none of your fucking business”, Eren scoffs and that’s all it takes to let the last remnants of tactfulness go, ignite the ticking bomb that is Levi and make him jump to his feet.

“Listen you little shit! I don’t care if you think it’s my business, you’re going to tell me what’s going on, because it’s the least I deserve for setting your sorry little ass free and you know what? I might not have all the answers, but I am almost 20 _fucking_ years older than you, and I could have some ideas that are better than the bullshit that you’re obviously doing with your life, because this isn’t normal Eren!  
It’s not right, okay?! You can’t just expect me to turn a blind eye on this, what the fuck do you think how I felt, when I found you bleeding from your fucking ass?!”

Levi know’s that he’s unfair now, that he’s trying to make Eren feel guilty about involving him in his mess, but he’s so god damn angry, because this isn’t right and the way Eren just seems to swallow it down, to try to forget about it and take out his frustration on Levi, instead of facing his fucking miserable situation, isn’t right either and there must be _some way_ to shake the boy from his idiotic stupor. Something, anything that can make him snap out of it, because he shouldn’t just silently accept that he’s a punching bag for someone else and by the way Eren is looking at him now, he seems to see that too, seems to finally get to his senses, when his bottom lip starts trembling in response to Levi’s harsh words.

“It was a blonde guy? Tall, muscular, you scratched his face?”  
Eren nods and stares into the water below him, the surface stirred by the first, silent tears, trickling down his cheeks and dripping into the tub, while Levi starts pacing through the small bathroom.  
“Is he paying you? How often does it happen?”  
“He’s not paying anymore…”, the kid’s voice is a whisper again, rough and almost breaking while he talks. “He just comes around once per month… More or less… He does what he wants and leaves...”  
“Why the hell do you let him in?”  
Eren lifts his head and looks at Levi, with a sad, pitiful smile, as if he asked something stupid or incredibly naive. “You know, that what I’m doing isn’t exactly legal, right?”  
“So, he is blackmailing you? Are you stupid, Eren?! Do you really think he’s going to go to the police and talk about your happy little brothel when you threaten him to do the same for rape?”, Levi blurts out in disbelief but Eren retorts just as quickly.  
“I tried!”, the kid rubs his eyes, wiping the tears from his face and Levi goes silent and nods, encouraging Eren to keep going. “I tried, and he just beat the shit out of me… told me there is worse coming for me if I snitch on him and nobody is going to believe a hooker anyway!”

Levi can’t agree with that statement, but he lets it go for now. Eren’s perception of himself and his situation is obviously driven by fear and feeling frightened is an irrational thing you can’t always control.  
“He’s got something else on you? Does he know you live here, who your friends are?”  
The only response he receives is another nod from the young man, who’s openly crying now with shaking shoulders and Levi starts wondering if that’s what it means to be part of Eren’s life. If his friends, if Armin ever had to pick up the broken pieces after finding Eren beat up and torn – if so, he respects him all the more for it – and if it’s actually making things worse for the brat. If it’s only pushing him to hide the ugly parts, because he’s stuck in his own head, too afraid to figure out how to change his situation for the better.

Two months and two thousand bucks later and Levi finally gets a glimpse at the part of Eren’s life that isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, the part he ignored with closed eyes while he should have known all along, because the truth is, that Eren is a prostitute. He is selling his body and no matter how lucky he is or how carefully he picks his clients, there will always be people who will treat him exactly like that.  
Like a body.  
Like a thing.  
And it needs only one misstep, only one asshole for Eren’s life to become a living hell.

“Do you want me to call someone?”  
The kid shakes his head, finding his voice again. “It’s not going to change anything, they’re only going to give me shit…” and the finality in Eren’s words makes Levi’s stomach drop, because the kid actually seems to believe that he’s alone in this, that there’s no one who can take his hand and fix this together with him, so he stops his pacing in front of the tub and crouches down to look at Eren, look over his bruises and at the pale face and into his eyes, that are sad but still filled with light and that make him hopeful, because the kid may be damaged, but he isn’t broken.  
“Do you want help?”  
He reaches out with his right hand in a slow movement, glad that Eren doesn’t flinch when he cups his cheek and Levi keeps talking before the kid can shoot the response, that he knows is coming.  
“Don’t just decline. Try to think about it. Really, really think about it.  
_Do you want my help_ Eren?”

The young man blinks and closes his mouth that has already opened to give a hasty answer before he got interrupted, while Levi wipes a stray tear from Eren’s cheek with his thumb.  
It’s endearing to watch him furrow his brows, as if he’s trying to solve a particularly difficult math assignment and Levi would smile, if the conversation wasn’t so dire, but what truly makes Levi’s heart go wide with warm feelings, is to watch how the confusion and uncertainty in the boys green eyes is slowly but surely growing into conviction and determination as the minutes tick away. How it becomes strong-willed and fiery and raises a storm inside of the brat that starts raging through his body, making him straighten his back, and clench his fists and look at Levi as if he wants to say, ‘ _I’m not done fighting yet._ ’.

It’s to watch how Eren exhales a slow, deep breath, stares at him with wide, clear eyes and nods.

 

~~~

 

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do.”

Eren is poking through his scrambled eggs with a fork, while they sit at the small table in his kitchen in the early hours of the next morning.  
Levi had spent the night at the kids place, holding his hand, while Eren slept after another, seemingly endless hour of talking, not getting a minute of sleep himself, while he was wrecking his brain to figure out how to proceed from here.

He had learnt a few more things during their nightly conversation, the first and foremost being that there was no way in hell, that Eren would go to the police.  
It was stupid, really, but the brat was too afraid of facing the consequences of his part-time job and Levi couldn’t drag him there, so if Eren wasn’t willing to see a doctor, get his injuries attested and report them to the officials, there was nothing he could do about it.

An obvious solution was to move somewhere else, but that would require money, that Eren didn’t have and if the brat ever accidently crossed path with the douchebag – Reiner was his name – again, he’d probably be in deep shit and it wasn’t even unlikely to happen.  
Eren had told him, that he got to know the man through some friends when he was still in school and they’d given it a go soon after the brat started working as a hooker, when Reiner became aware of it and while their social circles may differ now and they don’t see each other in private anymore, there’s still enough points of contact left for Reiner to easily get a hold of the kid.

Eren can’t just get himself a new place and be done with it and Levi starts to understand why the brat was so resolute about not mixing his friendship with Levi with his work, because not only is it emotionally harder to cut a friend lose instead of a client when things go to shit, but it’s actually quite impossible to erase someone from your life who’s deeply connected with many parts of it and Eren had clearly learned the hard way, that the consequences can be quite severe.

Reiner doesn’t seem to be the 'excessive stalker' type, given how infrequently he pays the brat a visit, but according to Eren, their encounters have worsened rapidly during the last half year and the man knows a lot about the boy, from his home to his friends and family, as well as where and what he studies, so there’s no way of telling what could happen when Reiner finds their ‘routine’ broken.

Eren is adamant about not involving his family and friends any further, because not only does he want to keep them away from the details of his life as a prostitute, but especially from getting mixed up with Reiner. Even people like Armin, who seems to be aware of what Eren is doing for a living, are a no-go for the boy and Levi can’t blame him for worrying about his loved ones and not wanting to show this part of himself to those that care about him.  
The brat is dead set to handle this on his own, thinking that this is his responsibility. It’s stubborn and a little naïve but Levi tends to forget sometimes, that Eren is really young and he probably shouldn’t be surprised about this kind of behavior. The only thing he can do is, to be grateful that the boy accepted his support and to treat him like an adult.

Sadly, that doesn’t leave Levi with a huge amount of options. He has no idea how to solve this ordeal for good, would probably have to ask that sneaky bastard Erwin for ideas but for now, Eren needs someone to look after him.

“You’re going to stay with me.”

Eren’s head shoots up with an incredulous look on his face. “I… what?”  
Levi puts his fork down and fold his hands in front of his face. “Look brat. You look like a punching bag and you seem to have internal injuries. You’re obviously not going to work anytime soon, so there’s no need for you to be here.  
You will come with me and stay at my place and then we’ll think about what to do next.”

The boy swallows his eggs down, before he lowers his head and shakes it slightly. “That’s… nice of you, really… But… It’s not necessary. I don’t think he’ll come back anytime soon,”  
“You don’t know that Eren, and you can’t risk it. You told me last night, that it was the first time that he left you tied you up like this. Things are obviously getting worse, there is no telling what he’s doing the next time.”  
The kid is biting his bottom lip now and it’s forcing a sigh from Levi’s throat. “Look, I don’t want to scare you, but your condition is bad, and your body needs to heal. If he’s trying shit again while you’re injured, you might really get hurt. Just take a sick leave, stay with me for a few days and we’ll figure out how to solve this, okay?”

Indecision is still written all over Eren’s face, but he seems to consider instead of just shutting it down. Enough encouragement for Levi, to reach over the table and grab one of Eren’s hands, while he casts an insistent look at the young man.  
“You want me to help you, right? That means, you need to trust me a little.”

 

~~~

 

“Is that the playboy who’s stolen our munchkins heart?? Gosh, aren’t you the cutest!”, Hange is practically launching herself at Eren, enveloping him in a suffocation hug and pinching his cheeks like a long-lost grandson.  
“Erwin, have you seen him??”  
“Yes, Hange…”  
“Isn’t he adorable???”  
“Can you _please_ shut up for a moment you fucking lunatic? And put the kid down for god’s sake!”

Their cohabitation doesn’t seem to be off to a good start, because it has taken the fucking psychic four-eyes less than an hour after he arrived back at home with the boy, to stand in front of his door – Erwin in tow.

While they had walked the short distance between their apartments, he had told Eren to keep the place he was staying at to himself for now and that he could tell his friends something like that he was living with a buddy from university – because of faulty tubes at home or a gas leak or whatever – but to keep it vague, because the whole endeavor would become pointless rather quickly, if Reiner asked them where Eren was and they wrote the brats new address down for him.

The young man didn’t pack much before they left, but enough for a few days and since he lives nearby, they can go and pick up more clothes anytime. _Together_ of course and Levi can’t stress this enough, repeats it until Eren starts rolling his eyes, whenever he mentions it.  
He doesn’t want the brat to feel imprisoned or restricted but imagining that they go through all this trouble to keep him save, just for the boy to end up in a hospital because he wanted to make a quick visit at home or at the grocery store, leaves Levi with severe anxiety and he makes Eren promise, never to leave the house alone, as long as he stays with him.

After arriving, Levi had emptied a drawer for Eren to put his things in and started to clean the kitchen, that was still littered with tons of cut vegetables, meat and other ingredients from the night before and that had inevitably lead to introducing Eren to his cleaning tic.  
Not that Levi would have described it as such, he had just started to explain the recycling, how to wipe which surface and what supplies and cleaners to use and by the way Eren’s eyes went wider and wider with each passing moment, he could only guess that the kid thought he had lost his mind.

And then Eren had been introduced to the one person in Levi’s life, who had _really_ lost her mind only a short while later.

Yeah, definitely not off to a good start, but at least Hange is dropping the boy back to his feet now, while Eren shoots him a pleading look and he can shoo the woman away from him.  
“What the fuck are you doing here?”, his eyes wander from Hange to Erwin, who receives the full force of his deathly glare, because he’s given up to expect anything from the crazy bitch, but fucking eyebrows could at least have given him a god damn call.

He’s placing Eren on a single armchair next to his L-shaped sofa, hoping that it will keep Hange from crawling into his lap, while Erwin shrugs off his coat.  
“You know how she is, Levi… I had no control over the situation.”  
“Should’ve never opened the fucking door for you.”  
“She would’ve probably broken it down.”, Erwin smiles his fucking Captain America smile again, before he makes his way to the sofa, and takes a seat next to Hange. “Now why don’t you introduce us, hm?”  
Levi rolls his eyes, gesturing between Eren and his friends. “Guys, this is Eren, Eren this is –  
Hange! Stop smoking pot in my apartment!!”

The only thing preventing him from introducing his foot to her face, is the hearty laughter that bubbles from Eren’s throat. It’s nice to hear him giggle like that again, after the events of last night and it’s the only thing that pardons Hange from meeting a short, painful death.  
For now.

“Okay, whatever, might as well get this over with.”, he mutters because wasn’t that his plan anyways? To share the situation with his friends, get some ideas and pray to god that they would find a solution together?

He slumps down on the couch next to Erwin and Hange and runs his fingers through his black strands, before he points in the boys' direction.

“Eren here… has a bit of a problem.”


	10. Questionable decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back to the next chapter. I'm sorry it took me so long but I actually had to take a break in order to figure out how exactly to continue from here, because I had the ideas but it was sort of chaotic and all over the place and despite this being a work of fiction, I wanted it to be at least a little bit logical and believable and not completely and obviously stupid, so in order to get the plot where I want it to be, I had to establish some foundation for it in this chapter without turning it into complete bullshit... If that makes sense.  
> (I also may or may not have indulged in reading mangas like a madman last night and that left me with little time to write *cough)  
> At the same time I didn't want it to be a drag to read it, and tried to loosen it up a little here and there (with the help of the one and only Hange :D). I hope I succeeded.
> 
> After the last chapter, I also wanted to write something a little less heavy, to give us all a breather and further establish Eren's and Levi's relationship. I'm not really into writing every single meal they cook together and how they watch movies and all that stuff, but I rather want to show parts of it here and there that give a glimpse at how their relationship develops. I didn't go all out on this one, because I personally think that it's not the right moment for the two of them to constantly make out, because they're in a relationship of dependency and Eren is mentally vulnerable, but I like the idea, that despite that, Eren is comfortable with seeking physical affection from Levi (because I obviously know how Eren feels about Levi and the situation and his life, while you don't - Mwuahaha)
> 
> Well, enough talking... I hope you enjoy the chapter :)

“Mhm… Good morning, Levi…”  
Eren crawls closer, his eyes till heavy lidded and tired, while he snuggles up to him and rubs his head on Levi’s chin, his hair disheveled from sleeping and even more chaotic than usual.

Living with Eren is quite the experience.  
He has no issues to share the bed with Levi, or the shower, or anything for that matter and while Levi is grateful, that he didn’t get banned on the couch, it’s not really helping with keeping his hands to himself either.  
He wants Eren to stay here, to keep an eye on him, not to have exclusive access to his body, but _damn_ , the boy isn’t making it easy when he curls up with him in the morning and saunters through the apartment in nothing but his underwear for most of the day.

It’s been two nights at his place now – the third morning since he found Eren in his apartment – and many of the superficial bruises on Eren’s body have begun to fade.  
The brat is beaming again, and Levi can’t get enough of watching him lie in his bed, sit on his table or be sprawled out on his couch with a smile on his face, which is why the first thing he did as soon as Erwin and Hange had left, was taking two weeks of vacation, muttering some bullshit about his dying mother on the phone and apologizing about the short notice.  
He’s definitely not going to lock the brat up by himself and go to work, when he can spend his days with him.

The tip of Eren’s nose is nudging his chin and he turns his head a bit to look at the brat, who almost lies on top of him now, tightly cuddling his chest.  
“Do I look like a pillow to you?”, he asks jokingly, but Eren only rubs his cheek on Levi’s neck more insistently. “You’re warm… Stop complaining…”  
“The things I do for you…”, Levi heaves a dramatic sigh, puts an arm around Eren’s slender frame and hears the boy chuckle.

Holding Eren close to him is so, so comfortable.  
Levi had enjoyed every night they had spent together, pressed against each other with the boys’ head on Levi’s chest as if the sound of his heartbeat would lull Eren to sleep.  
Waking up next to him, instead of an empty bed feels even better. The brat is not a morning person, bargaining for ‘another ten minutes’ over and over again each time, always searching for the warmth of Levi’s body and he never is grouchy during his attempts to prolong their time in bed, but cute – or at least as cute, as a grown man can be.

Levi is almost about to doze off again, wrapped in a cocoon of warmth, when his sleep induced brain recognizes the small movements the boy is making, slightly wriggling in his arm and applying the faintest pressure to his thigh, as if he doesn’t want to be too obvious but can’t stop himself either.  
“Dry humping me now…?”, he murmurs and the fact that Eren suddenly stills, prompts Levi to open his eyes again and lift his head with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on his lips. “Are you blushing, Eren?”

The boy groans and pulls the blanket over his head, but if Levi thinks this is the end of it and he can sink back into blissful sleep now, he’s in for a surprise, because the next thing he feels is another not so subtle press of Eren’s morning wood against his thigh, while the boys’ lips close around his right nipple.

“Eren…”, he warns, without deterring the brat in the slightest and when he feels long fingers touching the hem of his boxers, feeling around for his dick, he’s snatching his wrists away and rolls them over, to put an end to it.  
“You don’t need to do this to stay here, Eren.”  
The boy gulps as if he’s swallowing a lump down his throat and looks at him with wide, green eyes for a few long moments, before he turns his head away. “I know.”  
“And I’m not going to pay you.”  
“I… I know…”  
The way Eren avoids Levi’s gaze seems almost… _shy?_ and he’s releasing his hands, to prop up on his elbows and look down at the kid, before he’s pressing their foreheads together. “And you’re injured…”  
The boy nods slowly and Levi exhales, when he feels the soft touch of Eren’s fingertips run down his sides, while whispering another “I know…” into his ear.

He should probably get his ass out of the bed now but instead finds himself pondering whether or not he should ignore the reasonable voice in his head in favor of giving in to Eren’s advances and enjoying himself.  
It has only been a week, since he touched the young man this way the last time but right now it might as well be an eternity – it certainly feels that way – and Eren is warm and soft and _so_ alluring, despite the wounds and bruises and the last thing Levi wants, is to give him the feeling that he doesn’t want him anymore because of them or that he considers Eren to be damaged goods.

It’s sort of a self-serving argument, if he’s honest, but he tilts Eren’s head nevertheless, starts to place soft kisses to the side of his neck and keeps talking all the while, with his voice still rough from sleep. “And I’m not going to fuck you…”  
He can practically feel how a tremor runs through the boys’ body, before Eren starts rutting against him once more – not desperately moving his hips but certainly searching for friction – and _god_ what would he give to feel him around his cock again.

“What do you want me to do Eren…? Tell me what you want me to do to your beautiful body…”, he’s catching the mans’ right earlobe with his teeth, before he continues to say, “Want me to jerk you off…? Nice and slow…?” and bites down gently, drawing a soft moan from Eren. “Want me to suck your dick…? Want to fuck my mouth, Eren…?”

“Levi…”, the brat whimpers, struggling for air already and when Levi grinds his hips against Eren’s another time, he suddenly bucks up, pressing his groin into Levi’s with a scrunched-up expression on his face, before he goes slack only seconds later and puffs out a few sharp breaths.

Levi blinks in surprise and raises his head to look down at the young man, whose face is red like a tomato now.  
“Wow, new world record, hm?”  
“Fuck off, Levi…”, Eren grabs a pillow, trying to slap it into the older mans’ face, but he’s dodging with a gleeful laugh, that he hasn’t heard from himself in a long time. “Must be nice to be so young!”

“Where did that dirty talk even come from?”, the boy pouts, pulling the sheets up to his nose in an attempt to hide his flushed cheeks, while Levi sits up and grabs for his phone on the bedside table to check the time, a deadpan expression on his face. “Brat, I’m new to dick, not to sex.”  
“Right, I tend to forget that you’re a fossil…” Eren can’t suppress his playful giggle and Levi drops his phone, his eyes going wide, and leaps over the mattress to get a hold of the young man.  
“You little shit…!” The brat tries to scramble away to no avail and Levi pins him down on the mattress and starts pinching his side, forcing an undignified squeal from the boy, before he’s letting him go again and bends down to put a quick peck on Eren’s lips.  
“Let’s get you some breakfast… And fresh boxers.”

 

~~~

 

“ _Good morning sexy!! ”_   
“I’m not going to open the door Hange.”

Ten minutes out of bed and he’s already fighting a major headache while he listens to the lunatic cooing on the other side of the intercom.  
Eren had started his shower a minute or two before the doorbell went off as if the house was on fire, because Hange was probably trying to find out, if she could create a symphony by repeatedly smashing the button.

“Aww, come on now, don’t be like that. I brought gifts! Oh, and Erwin!!”  
He can hear bushy brows mumble a ‘ _Good morning_ ’ in the background, that sounds as if he’s currently fighting a migraine, remarkably similar to Levi’s and he resigns to his fate and hits the door button to put an end to Erwin’s misery.

“Where is Eren?”, is the first thing Hange throws at him, while she invades his apartment without a greeting or taking her fucking shoes off.  
_Why? The morning had started so well._  
He points in the direction of the bathroom without giving any additional information and leaves it to psychic - fucking - Hange to fill in the gaps by herself, before he turns to Erwin – who looks tired and a little worn out but still god damn perfect from head to toe – and greets him with a curt nod.  
Erwin is fiddling with his shoelaces, because at least one person here has the decency to respect his rules, while Levi is closing the door behind him and when Captain America finally sets his Oxfords aside and straightens his back, he seems to be almost as exhausted as Levi feels.

“You look like shit.”  
“It’s nice to see you too, Levi.” Erwins eyes follow Hange making her way to the Sofa, before he shrugs and turns his head back to Levi. “I had a… pretty eventful morning. Did you know they sell croissants filled with strawberry parfait at Sasha’s now? Hange is quite fond of them.”  
“Sasha’s? You mean that fancy bakery over in the next city?”  
Erwin gives him a blank look and starts moving towards the living room. “That’s the one.”

In the meantime, Hange seems to have made the decision, that ruining Erwin’s morning isn’t enough to get her going for the day, because the first thing he can see, when he walks towards the couch, is that her feet are on the coffee table and the first thing she says, while he knocks her boots off the tabletop is “So, how is the honeymoon going?”  
“I’m not in the mood for your shit Hange. Why are you here?”  
“Now now, my little dwarfen friend! Gandalf and Samweis here are merely interested how you’re faring, lifted to new heights by the wings of love! Must be amazing to be doped on serotonin for 24 hours a day!”  
Levi ignores Erwin’s irritated comment about who of the two is considered to be Samweis and shoots Hange a pointed look, because he can already tell that there’s more to her blabbering than meets the eye. “What are you onto?”

“I guess what she’s trying to say is…”, Erwin fills in and Levi quirks an eyebrow, all alarm bells ringing in his head, when his friend goes into ‘diplomatic mode’. “… that you shouldn’t ignore the overall situation, just because the current circumstances are beneficial to enjoying your desires. Your judgement might be clouded at the moment and you should put some thoughts into what you intend to do about your relationship with the boy on the long run.”  
“That’s a pretty elaborate way to say, that I’m thinking with my dick.”  
“Right?!”, Hange replies enthusiastically and Levi rolls his eyes, already starting to move towards the kitchen. “I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. I’m going to make us some coffee and when I’m done, I want to know why the fuck you came here.”

 

~~~

 

“On a scale from one to ten – How good is Levi in bed compared to your other clients?”  
“Uh… Excuse me…?”

Eren had made it out of the shower and joined them in the living room a moment ago, just to be jumped by Hange, making one of her ridiculous attempts to get to know more about the brat and his relationship with his new landlord.  
“Ignore her.”, Levi throws into their conversation, while he sets the coffee down on the table.  
“Shhh, don’t listen to him, he’s just worried that he doesn’t meet your standards.”  
“Eh…”, Eren struggles and casts a pleading look in Levi’s direction, who in return comes to the rescue by grabbing a close by newspaper and smacking it on the back of the brunette woman’s head.  
“Hange, _for the love of god_ , stop asking the brat questions and start telling me why you’re ruining my morning!”  
“Levi, you’re no fun! I’m just curious! You don’t meet a professional every day, do you?”  
“And what exactly does that have to do with my performance in bed? Yes, he’s a hooker and I fucked him. Now get over it and leave my sex life alone!”

Eren has cast his eyes to the ground, while a blush starts spreading on his cheeks and before Hange can give another of her good-for-nothing replies, Erwin clears his throat loudly, apparently ready to finally join the conversation.  
“We’re here because we might have a solution for Eren’s situation. It’s not going to work indefinitely but at least it will allow him to leave the house by himself again, till we figure out something better.”  
Eren’s head perks up, while Erwin slides an envelope over the table and Levi opens it and unfolds the papers inside, before his eyes start scanning the pages. “A restraining order?”  
Levi looks up in surprise. “How did you get this? Don’t you need a court to issue those?”

“Not necessarily. The police can order an aggressor to refrain from contacting the victim, in order to assure the victims protection until a court rules in their favor. Banishing people from certain places or ordering them to avoid contact with someone… They do these things every day without the ruling of a court. Obviously, it’s temporary – usually for a few days or weeks.”

“You went to the police?”, Eren intercepts with wide, anxious eyes.  
“Yes and no. I didn’t explain the circumstances, if that’s what you’re worried about. I asked for the papers and provided the names to fill them, so to speak.”  
“They are forged?”, Levi murmurs with an incredulous look on his face and Erwin chuckles, his expression nonchalant and relaxed. “No, they are legit and filed properly, albeit a little tweaked for the order to stay valid for six months. If Reiner intentionally breaks the terms of this order, he’ll be arrested and prosecuted.”

“But… how?”, Eren’s eyes are still wide, but in childlike wonder, rather than fear now and Erwin shrugs in response.  
“Let’s just say, someone owed me a little favor. The good thing is, that Reiner doesn’t know that. He will think that Eren went to the police and explained the situation to them and they’ve issued an immediate order, considering that Eren is heavily injured and accuses him of rape.”  
“That means Reiner loses his leverage to blackmail Eren…”, Levi concludes and Erwin nods.  
“There are a few inconsistencies with that scenario, for example that no one got in contact with Reiner right away to bring him in for questioning, but I’m assuming that he doesn’t have in-depth knowledge about the bureaucratic process of putting someone under investigation.”  
Erwin leans back on the couch, folding his arms in front of his chest and smiles. “And luckily, we can straighten that out ourselves.”

Levi hands the paper to Eren for him to read it and frowns, because even though he’s grateful to Erwin, they seem to be walking a very thin line in the very dark-grey areas of legality and judging by the look on his friends’ face, they aren’t done yet either.  
“And how _exactly_ would we straighten that out?”  
Erwin cocks his head with an amused grin that looks more wolfish that Levi feels comfortable with and Hange – surprisingly silent during the last minutes, while she was nursing her coffee – perks up from the couch and lifts her hands in excitement.  
“Well, _Detective Ackerman_ , you’re obviously going to pay the culprit a visit!”

 

~~~

 

Levi can’t believe Eren agreed to their plan, but Eren is a young man who’s still making a lot of very questionable decisions in his life and when everything was laid out in front of him, Erwin – that fucker – had actually managed to convince him, that if Reiner breaks the order and they’d end up in a courtroom, they’d manage to come up with a reasonable story to display Eren as the victim and hide his profession from the authorities. Something, that Eren still seemed to believe would be impossible if he went the proper way of going through the process of explaining himself to the police.

Okay, maybe he wasn’t completely off there, because addressing the issue would definitely raise questions if Reiner was brought in with nothing but accusations, while a session in court would be held with the advantageous arguments in mind, that someone at the police had already deemed Eren to be the victim and that Reiner had purposely violated the order to refrain from contacting him. If that was enough to sweep Eren’s job under the carpet by denying it, Levi wasn’t sure but then again, they could simply eradicate all traces of Eren’s profession, if the situation came up, because what proof could the blonde man really have beside his own word?

Eren swears by his dead goldfish – whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean – that he never sent any incriminating messages to the man and none of their friends knows of their ‘special’ relationship. Reiner’s only advantage is the element of surprise, as long as Eren is still working. He could snitch on him and make the police show up in front of his doorstep and the brat would have a hard time explaining a second bedroom, a lifetime supply of condoms and a decent amount of untaxed, illegal earnings, but if he thinks that Eren had turned himself in at the police in order to get rid of Reiner, then the asshole would lose his leverage while the police is actually none the wiser and if push would come to shove, they could remove the obvious signs of Eren’s job before they would report the violation of the order and get Reiner arrested. From there it would be shaking their heads and telling the officials that Reiner must have gone nuts, if he tries to reveal Eren’s profession.

So far so good, but that leaves Levi – who can’t believe that he agreed to this bullshit as well – in front of a door, about to commit an offense himself and violently shaking his head while he tells himself repeatedly, that he must be insane.

“You’re aware that this must be illegal. We’re trying to impersonate police officers, that’s got to be a criminal offense or a felony or something.”, he hisses through his teeth in Erwins direction, who’s wearing his best suit and his best smile and gives him his best ‘ _everything is under control_ ’ wink.  
“You worry too much, Levi.”  
“Shouldn’t you worry a little more?”  
The man laughs – fucking laughs – and shrugs, with a mischievous smirk on his lips. “I don’t worry, because it is going to work, my friend.”

 _Hubris?_ , is all Levi can think, while Erwin rings the bell and the door opens moments later, to reveal a tall, blonde asshole who makes Levi’s fists clench involuntarily.  
“Good day, sir. We’d like to speak with Mr. Reiner Braun, is he home?”  
The man blinks and eyeballs them for a moment, before he nods. “That’s me.”  
“Hello Mr. Braun, I’m Detective Smith, this is Detective Ackermann.”, Erwin replies smoothly without a second of hesitation and Levi starts sweating next to him and does his best to mask his emotions, because he only knows how to be himself and has no idea how Erwin manages his million masks, while all Levi wants to do is give that asshole a good beating and _thanks god_ , Erwin agreed to do all the talking.

He barely hears how blondie is asking if there’s a problem, busy with forcing himself to relax his hands and stay rooted in place, but his friend next to him is as calm as a comatose patient and nods politely, but insistent.  
“Yes, there is. Could we come in for a moment? We would like to speak with you.”


	11. Old meets new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :) Here is the next chapter! I don't have too much to say about it, except for: Enjoy and we'll see what happens with the bomb that Eren drops at the end, in the next chapter ;D

“I can’t believe, he bought that shit. You’re fucking scary, eyebrows.”  
“I’m absolutely certain, that you were the scary looking one of the two of us, Levi.”  
“Don’t give me that crap, you know exactly what I mean.”

Levi puts out the cigarette, the third one in a row, that he was smoking in an attempt to calm his nerves.  
Watching Erwin in his element is like looking at a piece of art and Levi has no idea how the man manages to bullshit his way through everything that life throws at him, but in this very moment, he’s pretty damn grateful about it – no questions asked – because Erwin had easily convinced that piece of shit, that he was under investigation and in for trouble if he came close to Eren ever again.

Levi had felt like a bystander, who didn’t belong there, or maybe he was just meant to be the silent ‘bad cop’ backup for Erwins ploy anyways but whatever it might have been, all that matters is that he didn’t need to step in, since his way of handling the situation would have involved a few well-placed punches, that would have made their plan go to shit.

Erwin opens the door on the drivers’ side of the car, they’ve been leaning against and nods at Levi, who’s still looking down the street. “Time to get you back to your sweetheart, don’t you think?”  
“Seriously, you too, Erwin?”  
The man looks at him for a moment, before he shakes his head. “No, I’ll leave it to Hange to worry about your mental state and your feelings.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean? You don’t worry about me anymore?”, Levi retorts and he realizes too late, that he sounds like a pouting child – maybe Eren is wearing off on him –, but his pride thankfully prevents him from making an even bigger fool out of himself by taking the words back or making a pathetic attempt on explaining himself.

His friend laughs next to him with unconcealed amusement and shakes his head again.  
“Oh, I am always concerned about you Levi, but I know you’re like weed. You always grow back. Consider it me having a lot of faith in your strength of character.”

Levi is rolling his eyes, while he walks around the car and lets himself in on the passenger side, putting the seatbelt on, when Erwin starts the car.  
“And what now? Do I let Eren go home and continue with his entrepreneurship?”  
“Absolutely not. I think it’s safe to assume that Reiner isn’t going to cower down, now that we’ve put him on the spot. He may feel the need to take action.”  
“You actually wanted to provoke him, didn’t you?”  
Erwin shrugs, stopping on a red light. “I think we shouldn’t hope for him to comply to the order and forget about Eren during the next six months. It would be better, if he feels inclined to seek Eren out, so that he gets put away for the time being.”

Levi can’t stop himself from laughing while he shakes his head in disbelief. “You son of a bitch... That was your idea all along, wasn’t it? To baffle this douchebag with a restraining order and make him violate it.”  
Erwins handsome smile makes him look too damned pleased with himself, but he doesn’t answer, just shrugs again and maneuvers the car into the next street.  
“What about putting Eren in court? If you’ve planned it like this all along, you must’ve considered that the brat has to speak up for himself eventually.”  
“How did you put it this morning? _We’ll cross that bridge when we get there_.”  
“I’m surprised that you went the extra mile for a hooker, bushy brows.”  
“Mhm…”, Erwins smile falters a little, before he looks over to Levi for a quick moment. “I’d rather say, I went the extra mile for a friend.”

 

~~~

 

Levi’s attempt to avoid an incredibly uncomfortable situation is, to shout “Keep driving!” at Erwin from the passenger seat.  
Sadly, said friend doesn’t catch on to the problem quite as quickly as Levi would have hoped for and shoots him a confused look, while he stops the already slowed down car in front of Levi’s apartment complex, which is exactly the amount of time, a certain red-haired woman on the sidewalk next to him needs, to spot him in the car and wave at him.  
“Oh.”, is Erwin’s dry comment, while Levi is closing his eyes because maybe – _maybe_ – Petra will simply disappear if he’s wishing for it bad enough.

She doesn’t.

He exhales and says his good byes to his friend, before he opens the door and leaves the car, steeling himself for whatever storm is going to run him over next because obviously, life isn’t difficult enough already and his day was in need for more excitement.  
“Petra…”  
“Hello Levi.”  
She looks just as happy to see him, as he is happy to see her, which really isn’t a lot but she still does a better job at concealing the awkwardness with one of her beautiful smiles, that make his stomach drop, undeserving as he is of them and he’s asking himself what he could have possibly done to earn himself a visit from her.

He has barely rid himself of the permanent feeling of guilt, that was wrecking him for weeks, before and after coming clean with her and his newfound calling to take care of Eren finally managed to distract him from constantly thinking about what kind of a colossal asshole he has been with his ex-wife and just when he’s come to a point where he isn’t thinking about his fuck up anymore _all the damn time_ , she shows up in front of his doorstep.

Life just has a way to shove a ‘ _fuck you_ ’ in your face, when you least expect it.

“What brings you here?”  
“I’ve found us an estate agent to sell the house, she’s a friend of mine and will give us a fair price. I need you to sign the contract to hire her.”  
“Okay, just send it to me.”  
She looks at him as if he’s gone nuts but reigns her expression in and shakes her head with a sigh on her lips. “I did, and I called you several times, but you didn’t pick up and you didn’t reply to any of my messages. I called your office when I ran out of ideas and they told me you’ve taken a few days off, so here I am.”  
Okay, he might have ignored his phone for a while in favor of spending time with a certain brunette.  
_Fuck._

“Alright, I will check it.”  
“Look, I’m not exactly feeling comfortable either, but I’d like to get this over with now. I have the contract with me. You can read it and sign it and I’m gone as soon as we’re done with this.”  
“Petra, it’s really not a good time.”, he tries to reason, because all he can think of is, that Eren is probably sitting on his couch upstairs or is probably sitting half naked on his couch or maybe even worse and Petra may not know who exactly he has screwed behind her back but she isn’t stupid either, quite clever in fact and even if she doesn’t jump to conclusions or if he could come up with a quick explanation now, he just doesn’t want to deal with it.

“I’ve tried to reach you for days Levi and I’m meeting her in an hour. I need you to sign this now.”  
_Fuck, fuck, fuck._  
He feels himself nod, while his head goes into overdrive.  
He can handle this.  
He’ll just tell her to wait outside for a moment, while he slips into the apartment and tells Eren to move his activities to the bedroom and when he has made sure that there aren’t any traces left, he can let her in and get over with this fucking contract.

Levi reminds himself that he needs to make sure, to hide the extra toothbrush and toiletries in the bathroom, just in case she asks him if she can use the toilet, while he opens the door and starts climbing the stairs to his apartment, but luck isn’t on his side when it comes to Petra. Not during the last year of their marriage, filled with anger and fighting and not now either, because as soon as they reach the door and he tells her to wait for a moment, she’s shooting him a pointed look. “I know you’re neat freak, Levi. What could there possibly be out of order in your home?”

He rolls his eyes, searching for the right key. “Petra, this is my place. If I’m telling you to wait outside,  you will wait.”  
“I don’t have time for your OCD, I’m meeting her in less than an hour and I still have a way to drive there!”, she’s already raising her voice and _honestly_ , why can’t it ever be different when he talks with her? Why are they still instantly aggressive towards each other and start arguing about the smallest things, even though there is nothing left for them now?

He’s about to tell her that he doesn’t give a _shit_ about her circumstances and that she _will_ wait outside but their quarrel has already attracted another party behind the door, who is pushing down the handle and steps into the hallway seconds later with a questioning look in his eyes.  
“Everything okay, Levi?”  
Petra looks Eren over from tip to toe, a million questions on her mind, by what Levi can tell from her expression, before she turns back to her ex-husband and quirks an eyebrow. “And who is that?”

 

~~~

 

“That’s your wife? Quite the looker!”, Eren blurts out giggling, as soon as Levi has slammed the door behind them, with Petra still waiting in the hallway.  
He had obviously been right with his assumptions, that Eren would be running around with barely any clothes on and his first instinct had been to shove the kid through the door and get him out of Petra’s sight, when he had spotted the brat in front of his apartment in nothing but sweatpants, that were sitting way too low on his hips to be appropriate.

“Yeah, she’s a fucking fairy. Just like you and me.”, he comments dryly and Eren laughs again with new vigor, rubbing a stray tear from his eye, while Levi drops his keys, shrugs off his jacket and rids himself of his tie.  
“I guess you didn’t intent for her to meet me?” The brat has a sly grin on his face, as if he’s all too pleased with the situation – probably because it’s pretty amusing for an outsider but Levi just wants the whole thing to go away and that means he needs to let Petra in and sign her stupid papers.  
“Yeah, no, not exactly. Would you mind watching some TV in the bedroom?”

He makes a quick walk into the living room, before he reminds himself, that he doesn’t need to remove the traces of Eren’s stay anymore and when he walks back to the door, to invite his wife in and get this over with, he realizes that the brat has neither answered to his question, nor moved away from the entrance, but crossed his arms in front of his chest instead and when Eren eventually opens his mouth, his words makes Levi freeze instantly to gape at him.  
“Are you embarrassed of me being here or something like that?”  
“What?!”  
Eren shrugs and starts moving into the apartment, probably heading for the bedroom now, and his words are barely audible for Levi, when he mumbles them. “You don’t want her to know that I’m here, because you’re ashamed of me, right?”

“Jesus, Eren!”, his hand darts out and grabs the boys’ wrist, when he tries to pass him by, to stop him in his tracks. “Why would you… No. I don’t want to deal with her questions right now and I don’t want to hurt her by introducing her to the person I’ve been cheating with. I don’t hate her Eren and I’ve done enough to harm her, but I’m not ashamed of you. Not of who you are and not of what you do.”  
Letting go of the young mans’ arm, he sighs and shakes his head in disbelief. “Why would you even think something like that? Am I not showing you, that you’re important to me?”

The boy swallows and stares at him for a moment, before he nods, a guilty look on his face. “Fuck… I’m sorry, Levi… You’re right. I’m so sorry. I just thought –“  
“Maybe you’re not completely wrong.”, Levi rubs his forehead and Eren looks at him in surprise. “I’m not?”  
“Yeah. I didn’t want her to meet you, even though the reasons may differ, but you live here. This is your home for now and you’re not a toddler that I can put in his room, just to avoid dealing with the consequences of my own actions.” He looks up at the young man. “I’m sorry too, just… watch some TV on the couch or something.”

Eren smiles and nods enthusiastically, before he draws Levi in for a quick hug and puts the faintest kiss on his lips. The god damn brat has him wrapped around his finger.  
“And Eren?”  
“Mhm…?”  
“Please put a shirt on.”

 

~~~

 

The next half hour is putting Levi in a position he wouldn’t have imagined ending up in in his wildest dreams because he was sure, that a certain awkwardness would unfold in his home and cast silence over the room, with the sound of the TV occasionally cutting through, while he reads the contract.  
What happens instead is the outbreak of something like a cold war, with both parties not fighting for information, resources and territory, but Levi’s undivided attention and it takes him way too long to catch on and understand what’s going on, until he’s trapped in the midst of it.

It starts subtle enough, when Levi asks Petra to sit down on the table between the living room and his open kitchen and Eren comes back from the bedroom wearing a t-shirt that is very obviously not his own.  
It’s Levi’s – easy to tell by the bright print on the shirt which shows the logo of the company he’s working for – and he’s got it for years, usually wearing it on a day off or when he sleeps, because it’s too large for him, but comfortable to put on, when he’s lazing around.  
He doesn’t make much of, the brat may not have a clean shirt left right now but when his ex-wife spots Eren, it is doing something to her face, that Levi can’t quite explain.

If he wasn’t so eager to read through the paperwork as fast as possible, he’d probably realize that something is off, when Petra starts to make useless small talk with him, because she’s starting an awful lot of sentences with “ _I went to XYZ, do you remember when we…_ ”, but Levi is too absorbed and really doesn’t feel like reminiscing about old times, when the only thing he can think of is Eren on his couch in his t-shirt and how nice it would be to sit down and cuddle with him.  
That’s why he doesn’t recognize how Eren’s shoulders stiffen while his ex is talking and he doesn’t wonder why Petra is suddenly so eager to talk about the places they’ve been to in the past when she wanted nothing but get away from here with the contract in hand, mere ten minutes ago.

He’s not even wondering about Eren’s obviously hostile gesture of getting up a moment later and walking into the kitchen, just to come back with not two, but one cup of coffee, that he puts down in front of Levi. In his mind, Petra is basically still on the run and he wants to be alone with the boy, so why should they start making coffee for her, but when he thanks Eren for getting him a mug, by giving him a little pat on the lower back from his sitting position and the brat starts to beam, he’s finally starting to comprehend that he’s missing something.

He’s not entirely sure what’s going on by now, but something seems to happen around him that he wasn’t aware of, because the expression on Petra’s face starts to morph into something indignant and annoyed and it only gets worse, especially when Eren is sitting on the couch again and starts talking about dinner, asking Levi if he wants to cook something together or order food from somewhere and suggesting movies they could watch tonight.

He’s halfway through the contract – why on earth would you need so many pages to hire someone for selling your house? The contract for his apartment isn’t even half the size! – when Petra starts leaning in, to point out a few sections here and there and their shoulders begin to brush occasionally.  
That’s not what makes him understand the whole dilemma though. No, what makes him understand, is when she practically jumps away in her chair, because Eren suddenly stands behind them and puts his hands on Levi’s shoulders, to look over his head and ask in a whiny voice if they’re done yet.

No, Levi isn’t done with reading, but his brain is done with processing what is happening, and the thought that his ex-wife and a hooker, who happens to be his love interest try to mark him as their territory is both ridiculous and confusing.

Okay, maybe it’s not completely absurd, considering that he left Petra, not the other way around and she probably still has feelings for him. He hurt her enough to push her away and he’s not proud of it and he’s pretty sure that she doesn’t actually want him anymore, if she gives the whole thing two minutes of thinking but seeing – or at least assuming – that someone else has already taken the place that was hers for so many years, might make her act irrational.

Eren on the other hand was thinking that Levi is embarrassed to be seen with him.  
The kid is probably having some fun with testing him a little and it’s somehow childish – like so many things the brat is doing – but his immature quirks have really grown on Levi and he doesn’t mind showing Eren, that he’s welcome at his side. After all, that’s what he’s hoping for anyways.

The problem with playing along right now, is an unhappy red-head next to him.  
He knows she doesn’t want him anymore – not really – but being overly affectionate with Eren in front of her is still going to leave a bitter taste in his mouth, because she’s a sensitive person and he knows her long enough to be certain, that it’s going to affect her in a negative way.

He looks up to Eren’s face, hovering above his head and lifts the remaining pages from the table to indicate his progress. “Ten minutes, I think.”  
The brat hums, but instead of leaving for the couch again, he bends forward and drops his head on the top of Levi’s like a puppy, with his forearms on Levi’s shoulders to hold him up and if the situation wasn’t so stupid, Levi would be pretty darn happy about their close proximity but it’s hard to feel elated when Petra is glaring daggers at him.

“So, your name is Eren?”, she finally decides to dig around a little and Levi groans inwardly, while he feels how the brat nods and dishevels Levi’s hair with his chin in the process.  
“And you know each other from work?”  
Levi can barely stop himself from groaning _outwardly_ this time and he feels the tremor that goes through Eren’s body, when the brat successfully holds back a laughter because technically they _do_ know each other from work – just not his, but Erens – but the kid doesn’t miss a beat and shakes his head, doing more damage to Levi’s hairstyle.  
“No, we met at a bus stop.”

“A bus stop?”, she repeats with a doubting voice, that makes Eren shrug, while Levi is basically flying through the pages now, not really caring anymore if he’s selling his soul by signing this crap, he just wants to get Petra out of his house _right fucking_ now.  
“So you’re friends?”  
_Fuck, fuck, fuck, damned, fuck._  
“No.”, he can’t see but hear the smile in Eren’s face and swallows a lump down his throat because _oh man, here it comes._ The big reveal with the big drama that’s definitely going to follow, as soon as the brat is going to tell her that he’s Levi’s fuck buddy since a few months.

Just that Eren doesn’t say anything like that. He just rubs his cheek in Levi’s hair for a moment and when he speaks again, he’s practically nuzzling Levi and it gets so quiet that Levi could hear a pin drop.  
“I’m his boyfriend.”


	12. Back and forth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Here is the next chapter for you. I've written it down pretty fast, because I'm going to be busy today and didn't want to keep you waiting till tomorrow, but I hope it doesn't lack in quality :D
> 
> You may have guessed, that things aren't going to be *that* easy and we won't enter the universe of fluff, just because Eren is trying to rile up Petra. So what is he really after and why did he say that? Do you think Eren is ready for any commitment?  
> You can find out in this chapter, full of people talking till their mouths run dry *lol* Enjoy!

“Excuse me?”  
“I’m his boyfriend.”, Eren repeats with a shit eating grin, while Levi experiences what it must feel like to put a finger in an outlet.

The little asshole is outing him in front of his ex-wife without batting an eye and Petra is turning the full force of her attention at him now, a meaningful but still doubting look in her eyes, clearly hoping that he’s going to deny Eren’s words.  
“He’s your boyfriend?”

Levi is closing his eyes because he needs a second – just one second – to _think_.  
He had explicitly told Petra that he didn’t leave her for someone else and Eren’s revelation is either going to make her realize, that Eren is in fact the marriage wrecking hooker turned _whatever this is_ or make her think that Levi had simply lied to her. Both doesn’t bode well for him but Eren couldn’t know that, since he never shared the exact contents of their breakup talk with the boy.

That doesn’t change that the little shit is outing him _without asking_ and whether he cheated on his wife with a man or if he left his wife for a man isn’t going to make all the big difference in the end because the main issue doesn’t change.  
Eren is a man and that in itself might not be a problem for the tolerant woman that Petra is, but it shows that there was yet another thing he wasn’t open, wasn’t completely honest about, namely being into cock now.

He could say that Eren is joking. He could try.  
But considering that he’s sitting here with his eyes closed with what is definitely more than one second – rather 5 to 10 – by now, he doesn’t see any chances convincing her anymore and he’s asking himself if keeping things civil with his ex, that is not a part of his life any longer, is worth it to hurt Eren in turn by making him look like a liar.

Levi doesn’t know why Eren is playing this stupid game of power. Maybe it’s for a petty reason, maybe he just doesn’t like Petra, and if it wouldn’t put Levi in this shitty situation he’d probably laugh it off, because he likes Eren’s quick and usually thoughtless approaches to whatever is standing in his way. It’s immature and doesn’t always make sense, but it certainly is refreshing to watch him.  
Right now it puts him on the spot though and while the reason is most likely just something idiotic and childish, he can’t change that his grouchy little heart is under Eren’s spell and that he’s _hoping_ for more. Does he really want to risk the little chance he’s got on being with the young man, just to teach him a lesson?

He smiles, while he rubs his still closed eyes, replaying Eren’s voice in his head, introducing himself as Levi’s _boyfriend_ and he wonders how close he is to having a stroke, with his contradicting thoughts and feelings raging inside his head.  
Man this is going to be such a shit show.

“Yeah. He is.”

Eren stiffens behind him and Levi can’t tell if it’s because he didn’t think that Levi would back him up or because he expected him to brush it aside as a joke and it almost makes a new wave of anxiety wash through him, but the moment he’s about to deny everything, he can feel Eren’s arms moving from his shoulders, to cross in front of his chest in a soft embrace.  
There’s not time to wallow in the luxury of enjoying it though, because Petra is still sitting next to him and huffs now, while she frowns, looking at him as if he has grown a second head.  
“You can’t be serious.”

Levi shrugs - because really, what can he say - and tries to focus his attention back on the papers to get done with it but his ex-wife has other plans and jumps to her feet, one finger pointing at Eren when she abandons her calm voice to almost spit at him.  
“You left me for… For _him_? That’s your dirty whore? Is he even legal??”

“Petra…”, the contract sinks back to the table and Levi looks up to her, while he feels Eren’s grip around his neck tighten. “This…”, he makes a gesture that includes himself and her, “… has nothing to do with Eren, so watch your tone.”  
She looks at him with a shocked expression and he can see how redness from anger is seeping into her face. “You’ve got to be kidding me! You ruin our marriage for… for a _child_ and you don’t even have the decency to get him out of my sight?!”

He wonders for a moment, why he’s so calm inside because he’d usually yell back at her by now and he can only guess, that it has something to do with the warm, tan arms, sitting on his shoulders, but despite his head being clear for once, while they fight with each other, he still can’t think of a thing to say to really make it better.  
“Petra, you came here unannounced. I can’t kick him out, just to make you feel better. He’s living here.”  
“ _HE’S LIVING WITH YOU?!?_ ”

Eren is finally catching the drift, that his presence in their argument is neither helpful nor appropriate and loosens his arms around Levi, so that he can get up, while the brat is retreating to the bedroom.  
He’s going to give the little fucker a good verbal beating later.  
Levi grabs the paperwork, ignoring the remaining pages and opening the last part of the contract to leave a few, messy signatures.  
“I don’t think this conversation gets us anywhere.” He shoves the contract over the table, for her to pick up. “Here.”

Petra snatches the pages from the tabletop, almost crumpling them in the process and stomps off to the entrance with a ‘ _fucking asshole_ ’ on her lips, before she slams the door shut and leaves Levi alone in the living area, feeling a hundred years older.

  
When Eren emerges from the bedroom twenty minutes later, he has already moved on to the couch and casts a tired look at the boy.  
“Sit down.”  
Eren hesitates for a moment, looking at him nervously and biting his bottom lip. “Levi, I –“  
“I said, sit down.”  
The young man complies, but keeps a safe distance and seems to have developed great interest in his own feet, because it’s the only thing he’s looking at. “Are you mad?”  
“Yes.”

Levi exhales a long breath and runs a hand through his hair, to relax a little, because he feels so, _so_ tired.  
He had to deal with Hange in the morning, which isn’t something he absolutely hates but it’s sucking the energy from him and it makes him wonder if the lunatic is some crazy type of vampire, who absorbs his life force because she must be getting her never-ending vigor from _somewhere_.  
Next on the list was a little theater session with Erwin and the douchebag, that had taken advantage of Eren. Not only had Levi certainly broken the law, but looking at that smug visage without being able to shut him up for good had almost drained him to his limit and when he finally thought the good part of the day would begin, he had met Petra, with Eren introducing his own little agenda to their strained relationship.  
A few weeks ago he had been convinced that he was going to go crazy but now he starts wondering if the world is just turning batshit insane around him.

“I’m sorry…” Eren’s voice breaks the silence around them and Levi looks at him for a long moment.  
“Do you know why I’m angry?”  
The boy goes quiet again, apparently contemplating for a moment, before he nods. “I sort of told her, that it was me you’ve been with.”  
“And?”  
“And…” Eren hesitates, still looking at his feet. “… I’ve told her that you are into men.”  
“And…?”, he keeps prodding and the brat finally looks up with a questioning expression, seemingly out of idead.

“Eren, why did you do that?”  
Levi feels a little out of place with his fatherly voice but then again, the other man’s behavior was childish and he’s a lot older than Eren and maybe the brat needs to get some sense talked into him from time to time.

The kid stays silent and shrugs, as if he gets scolded by an elder which isn’t so far off, if Levi is honest but he doesn’t feel like letting it go, just because Eren looks like a frightened kitten.  
“Okay, let me rephrase that. You’ve caused quite the situation here and you’re probably aware that you’ve hurt her. Did you have a reason for your behavior, worth the consequences it had or are we going to file that under ‘ _Eren’s unnecessary bullshit_ ’?”

The silence is growing tense now, stretching between them and the brat is still looking at his damn feet, picking at his fingernails in addition, but he doesn’t say a word and Levi thinks that the fatherly voice may have been a bad choice after all.  
“Look Eren, I’m not trying to scold you, okay? But I’m not 20 anymore and I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours. I want to understand you and in order to do that, I need you to be honest with me. I didn’t plan for her to show up here, if you think that happened on purpose.”

He finally gets a reaction from the kid, when Eren shakes his head and Levi leans back with a sigh.  
Hoping that this conversation wouldn’t add to today’s exhaustion was probably futile.  
“Talk to me Eren?”, he tries one last time with a gentle tone, watching how the boys' shoulders slump. “I just… didn’t want her to get any ideas.”  
“Ideas about what?”  
Eren starts blushing furiously and usually it’s absolutely hilarious for Levi to watch, how the kid is switching from bold and loud-mouthed to coy and timid within seconds but his thoughts are too occupied with the words between them, to pay attention to the comedic nature of Eren’s body language.  
“That you’re still available?”, he whispers and Levi – not certain how to react to that statement – cocks his head, while crossing his arms in front of his chest and hums in response. “Mhm… Am I not?”

The brat nods, shakes his head and nods again, raising his arms at the same time, to hide his face behind his hands. “Sorry, I guess you are… That was none of my business.”  
And just like that it’s over, that short moment for Levi to prod around in Eren’s head and get a glimpse at his feelings, because the man is shutting him out now and Levi isn’t even surprised. If he didn’t manage to have an open, grown up conversation about the matters of the heart with his wife in all those years, then why should he be able to have it with Eren.

He sighs again in resignation and gets up to take a well deserved shower, still having hopes that he’ll experience at least one thing today that feels good, but before he does it he needs to get one last thought of his chest, needs to be the adult that Eren apparently can’t be right now, because if he doesn’t start being honest about his intentions, he’s never going to get anywhere.  
“I like you, you know? I’m not always good at dealing with someone so much younger than me, but I enjoy your company, and I think both, your character and your body, are beautiful and I’d be happy if you didn’t feel the need to hide what you’re thinking from me.”

He leaves it at that, doesn’t add that he’d like Eren to think about his own perspective and feelings in return because the kid is living at his place and he doesn’t want to pressure him or make him believe that Levi expects his affection in return for his support. He can only hope that the man understands, that Levi is indeed quite attached to him, likes him, wants him and that Eren doesn’t need to establish some sort of dominance over him, with impulsive actions around the people in Levi’s life.  
And maybe – if he’s lucky – it will urge Eren to come forward, if he shares these feelings or if he knows, that he can only refuse them.

 

~~~

 

“ _He said whaaaat?!_ ”, Levi moves the receiver away from his ear, in an attempt to safe himself from turning deaf, when Hange squeaks into the telephone.  
“He told her, that he is my boyfriend.”, he repeats, and she cackles like a maniac, as soon as the words leave his mouth.  
“ _Gosh, the kid is hilarious! Did Petra try to cut your dick off or is Levi junior still alive?_ ”  
Levi rolls his eyes. “Yeah, she was fucking thrilled, threw confetti and asked us for a three-way.”

He had always been convinced that the day he’d ask Hange for advice would be the day, he had lost his mind and now he’s sitting in his bedroom, talking to her about his situation _again_ for the umpteenth time in only a few weeks. He’s obviously wandering a very dark path at the moment.  
Thankfully she spares him the tongue-lashing regarding Petra, focusing on Eren right away, because she can probably pick up from his way of talking, where his concerns truly lie.  
“ _Did you ask him why he said that?_ ”

Levi nods, before he realizes, that she can’t see him. “Yeah, said he didn’t want her to get ideas that I’m still single and took it back a minute later. I don’t know what to do with that teenager bullshit.”  
“ _You asked for it, he’s a baby boy._ ”  
“Any actual advice?”  
“ _I think he likes you, keep going._ ”

That’s a fucking useless advice and he’s about to tell her as much but stops himself just in time because what did he really expect her to do? Hand him a fucking manual for the brat?  
Hange knows him well, and the longer he lets her words sink in, the more he understands that she actually managed to address his main concern yet again because he isn’t too worried about living with Eren or talking with him, he will figure it out somehow. What kept him awake last night was the fear of reading the signs wrong, of everything being one-sided and that their relationship is not as meaningful to Eren, as it is to him.

“Thanks, I guess…”  
“ _Oh my god! OH MY GOD! Did you just thank me? Are you sick Levi? Maybe I should_ –“  
He hangs up before she can finish her sentence and drops the phone next to him on the bed, to rub his eyes.  
He’s still feeling exhausted from yesterdays events and while the rest of the evening with Eren wasn’t particularly out of the ordinary, he had still felt a slight distance settling between them.  
Maybe he had pushed the brat too far with his questions, made him say things he didn’t want to talk about but if Levi can’t run away from his life, then so can’t Eren and he still thinks that he had deserved the answers for the brats behavior.

Getting up and walking back to the living room, he spots the young man on the table, busying himself on his notebook with what looks like bills and online banking. He doesn’t look up, when Levi enters the room, just keeps staring at the screen with furrowed brows and he’s actually flinching, as soon as Levi clears his throat to make himself known.  
“What’s got you all tense?”

Eren remains silent for a moment, closing his notebook and when he turns to Levi, he does it with a sigh, that tells him he’s not going to be happy about whatever the kid is going to say.  
“I need to start working again, Levi.”  
_Ding, ding, ding_ – bull’s eye.

Forcing himself to stay calm and refrain from telling the man, that he’s definitely not going back to fucking guys for money, makes Levi feel a bit dizzy for a moment but he prevails over his instincts and walks up to Eren to take the seat next to him.  
He knows that the conversation is crucial and that he needs to choose his words wisely now, because he can’t tell the boy what to do, but he needs to convey just how much he hates the idea and that it’s about to make him barf just to think about it.

Eren seems to know that something is wrong, most likely because Levi must look like a ghost – he can feel the blood drain from his face.  
“Are you alright?”  
He swallows down the lump in his throat, tries to make his stiff body move and nods mechanically.  
“Are you…”, his voice is a lot rougher, than he’s used to. “Are you sure?”

The boys' nod may as well be the ax, that comes flying down to slice his throat open, because he feels a little bit like dying when Eren explains him, that he’s going to lose clients if he waits any longer and his financial security with them.  
He seems mostly annoyed with the situation, as if he’s been sick for a while and dreads the idea of going back to the office on a busy Monday morning but that’s not what’s going to happen.  
What’s going to happen is that Eren will leave Levi’s apartment to have sex with someone else and is going to return to him with another mans smell on his skin and another mans saliva on his lips and when Levi lets these images pass him by, he can feel his eyes getting teary.  
“I don’t think… Please don’t. _Please_ …”

Eren looks at him now, _really_ looks at him and his mouth opens, forming a silent ‘O’ but Levi can see the determination behind the sympathetic look in the boys' eyes. Can see, that Eren has already made a decision, that comes crashing down on Levi, mercilessly shoving every hope aside that the young man feels the same or wants to be with him, because even if that was the case, what is it worth if Eren doesn’t want to give up his job?

He should just try to forbid it, he thinks. Try to pressure Eren, that he can’t stay here if he’s going to keep working but what good is that really going to do?  
The brat will just decide to move back to his place, thank Levi for his time and effort and he’ll not only get his heart ripped out but worry day and night, that Reiner has shown up on Eren’s doorstep again, to end what he’s started.

“Just… think about it?”, he bargains and the kid’s eyes shy away from him, staring at the wall at the other end of the room and making Levi’s heart sink, before he receives a hesitant nod.  
“Okay… I will.”


	13. A fruitless conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a new chapter and the boys do some talking - that doesn't mean that they are good at it though.  
> I know, I know, you're looking at it from the outside and think "Oh my god, just spit it out guys", but I'm pretty bad at talking about my feelings myself sometimes and I tend to hold back way too long, because I'm worried to make things difficult. Guess the boys are in a somewhat similar situation, so that's how I wrote it. Deal with it :D
> 
> Writing was a bit hard today, because I'm sick but I hope it's good nevertheless. I can never tell, honestly *lol*  
> Enjoy the chapter and thanks again for your Kudos, the lovely comments and all the encouragement I received. I'm still pretty shocked about all the love I'm receiving here, so... thanks. You're the best <3

Levi has no idea if Eren had actually meant what he said and gave his desperate plea some thought, or if the response was meant to comfort him. If it was the latter, it certainly didn’t last long, because the brat informed him only a day later, that he’d have to return to his place soon for a ‘meeting’ with someone and Levi wasn’t stupid enough to miss the innuendo in his words, even if he really wished he was.

Looking at Eren now, sitting next to him in bed and browsing with his phone, feels foreign and alien as it never had before. He’s missing the sensation of his soft skin under his fingers and the warmth of his body pressed against his own, but can’t bring himself to engage in anything physical, not even cuddling, because enjoying Eren’s body when the boy himself treats it like a tool, that he’s willing to lend to everyone, feels suddenly wrong.

It’s nonsense somehow and he knows it, because nothing has really changed with him hoping for Eren to be his and the young man being anything but that.  
Could be the days that they had spend together, could be the experience to see a broken and vulnerable part of the kid, could be the domestic routine, they’ve fallen into, hell it could be a shit load of things that had made Levi think that Eren wouldn’t just return to his former life as soon as his hole was fit for the taking again but it seems like he needs to face the ugly truth now and accept that things aren’t quite the way he’d like them to be, because Eren has an ‘ _appointment_ ’ tomorrow.

He drops the book, he had been trying to read – a useless attempt really, but still better than hugging the boy close to him and feeling like shit about it – and lets his hands fall into his lap.  
He really likes Eren.  
He likes Eren and he wants him to stay and fix the shit with Reiner and make love to him at night and breakfast in the morning and pick the brat up from a normal part time job or his college sessions, but now he’s sitting here, propped up against the headboard of the bed, ready to go to sleep and Eren is next to him, keeping himself busy with his phone after he picked up on Levi’s earlier reluctance to come close to him, and watching the gaping distance between them grow wider with each passing second hurts.

“Come here…” Levi’s voice is low and raspy as if he’s having a cold or has been crying or both at the same time, but the boy doesn’t comment on it, just drops the device in his fingers immediately and scoots closer, snuggling into Levi’s embrace and he just can’t understand it, can’t help but ask himself _why?_ because there’s obviously something, some affection between them that Levi can see in the way the boy never hesitates to seek out his touch and he can’t bring himself to believe that he’s misinterpreting all the signs that Eren is blatantly giving off.

What is he missing? What is Eren seeing in him?  
He’s obviously not just a client for the boy anymore, with the dates they’ve had, the evening almost a week ago when Levi had found Eren beaten and abused, them staying together in Levi’s home sharing everything from butter to bed, being introduced to Levi’s friends and the brat driving Petra out of the apartment. What he is though, he can’t be sure about and maybe he’s expecting too much from Eren, when he hopes that the kid turns his life around and drops his job, solely based on a few words of fondness from Levi’s side without any real follow-up on what that could mean for the both of them if Eren wanted it.

Or he’s just ahead of himself.  
Does the man see him as a friend, a brother, a fatherly figure? Eren is obviously liberal when it comes to his body – and when it comes to sharing it – and it might be a mistake to deduce emotional closeness from the way they’re intimate with each other, no matter how convinced he is, that they’ve long passed the mindless fucking in favor of sweet adoration and lovemaking.

Maybe he’s spot on though and the problem is a different one entirely.  
Eren might actually like him in a romantic way, but could be unwilling to pursue it, for a million possible reasons, because Levi is absolutely sure that there must be more to Eren becoming a prostitute than just making quick cash, when there are a million normal jobs out there – all of them less dangerous and certainly less illegal.

Maybe he has a kink for sleeping with strangers? Sex addiction? Maybe he’s just not monogamous and it’s not so much the missing feelings that hinder their budding relationship, but their clashing concepts of life with a partner?  
Levi doesn’t know jack shit and it’s pretty much his own fault, because he had never asked again after that very first night when they had both been wasted from tequila and Eren had brushed off his question with something along the line of “ _it’s paying well_ ”.

He had planned to, yes. He had really intended to find out more, that one evening a few days ago, after his conversation with Erwin who had provided him with a book full of possible questions but it all had been forgotten, when Eren hadn’t shown up and he had found him in that fucking bedroom, tied up and gagged and abandoned.  
Levi and Eren had done a lot of things together since the day they had met at the bus stop but talking about their thoughts and feelings isn’t one of them.

“Isn’t it hard? Sleeping with strangers?”  
Eren is raising his head, surprise written all over his face, probably because it’s a strange new thing that Levi wants to talk about his work, but he answers without a second thought and it just fuels Levi’s beliefs further, that there must be _something_ , because Eren doesn’t hold back, is open and honest with him about these things lately and never afraid of how he might look in Levi’s eyes.  
“Not really… Can be taxing when you slept little or missed a meal, I guess. Just like any other job.”  
Levi hums and starts running his fingers through the boys’ soft locks, who puts his head back down on Levi’s chest.  
“It always sounds like a chore when you talk about getting fucked.”  
Eren chuckles, his body shaking softly for a moment. “Well, it is.”  
“Always?”  
The kid looks up at him again, holds his gaze for a moment and lowers his head down another time, shaking it slightly in the process. “Not always.”

“So…”, his fingers wander to Eren’s neck, gently caressing the skin there and he hears a soft, relaxed sigh from the young man. “… you still enjoy it sometimes?”  
_With me?_  
Levi doesn’t say the words but still finds them hanging in the air, unspoken but heavy and Eren stays silent for a long, long moment, because maybe he can feel them too, or maybe he’s just thinking about what to say and it makes Levi grow stiff as a crowbar, the longer he waits for the brat to speak up.

“Yes.”, he murmurs eventually, without offering any further explanation and Levi thinks that’s good enough for now, because it means that there’s a chance that sex with him didn’t feel like labor to Eren every single time.  
“Any plans for the future?”  
The brat shrugs. “Well I _do_ study, to get a real job one day. It’s not like I’m going to college out of boredom.”

Sounds good, pretty damn good in Levi’s ears and it feels like he’s gaining momentum now, as if he’s on to something with Eren so openly admitting, that he doesn’t want to be a hooker for a lifetime or till nobody wants his old, saggy ass anymore.  
“What if… you fall in love?”  
Eren’s hand wanders to his abdomen, drawing small, ticklish circles into the skin, that make Levi’s muscles twitch. “That’s a lot of questions…”

He doesn’t respond to that but what’s there to say anyways. The brat may as well have told him that it’s none of his fucking business, and Levi can’t do anything but mourn the loss of his chance to finally get some clear answers, but Eren has seemingly shut him down, as usual when he overstepped some invisible line he didn’t know existed and it’s exactly that, that makes him flinch in surprise, when he hears the kids voice again, actually giving an _answer_ to his question.

“I haven’t really thought about it. It’s a nice idea… being romantic and all, but I’d still have to pay my bills.”, the brat shrugs. “And to be honest… Hormones do the talking for a while but eventually everyone realizes how many guys have plowed my ass. Who would want a hooker anyways?”

 _I would_ , he thinks and it’s easy to pick up the tone in Eren’s voice. Levi doesn’t have the slightest clue what the brat is thinking half of the time, no matter how open the kids face is, because he simply can’t keep up with the chaotic thought processes of a teenage brain, but right now he can tell exactly what the dip means, the way the words leave his mouth more and more slowly and he can’t stifle the laughter that bubbles from his throat at the ridiculous thought that Eren is actually convinced that nobody would want him.

“What’s so funny?”, he boy sits up frowning and Levi shakes his head, ignoring the boys question to reply with another on his own.  
“What if someone wanted you?” and he smiles because maybe it’s really that easy. Maybe it’s just Eren being insecure about emotional commitment because he’s young and a bit stupid and afraid that someone wants to get a free fuck from him, only to drop him like a hot potato later.  
It’s not completely absurd, really not – a lot of people would love to have a professional in the sheets but that doesn’t mean they want to introduce them to their parents. Levi is a grown ass man though, too old to give a flying fuck about what people think about him and if all it takes is, to show no regrets when he’s presenting Eren as his boyfriend/ex-hooker he’d do it in a heartbeat.

It’s not that easy though, because Eren just shrugs in response and leaves it to Levi to guess, if it means he’s on the right track or if it’s the brats way of saying that he doesn’t really care.  
“Why are you asking?”, the boy whispers after a few moments of silence, before he turns and folds his hands on the side of Levi’s chest, resting his chin on top of them and staring at him openly now in a way that makes his mouth run dry.  
“Just… curious…”, is his mumbled response and it takes him way too much time to realize, that Eren’s face his falling, his eyes suddenly avoiding his gaze, before the young man starts to get up from the bed and he can’t believe just how stupid he is, because this was it. This had been the moment to tell him, laid out on a silver platter in front of him and instead of thinking about his words, he had let himself be hypnotized by green eyes and uttered some bullshit.

“Eren, wait…” Levi sits up immediately, trying to catch the young mans’ wrist, arm, _anything_ to keep him from running away, but the boy is suddenly agile like a deer, jumping out of his grasp.  
“I’m right back, I just… need to piss.”, the brat mutters awkwardly, still not looking at him, before he’s dashing out of the bedroom and Levi can hear the bathroom door close and being locked from the inside.  
_Way to go, idiot._

Sinking back into the pillows, he’s tempted to grab the book again – not for reading but to hit his head with it – but that won’t solve anything either.  
It had taken a lot of time and effort to get to this point and Levi had let it slip through his fingers, probably confirming all of Eren’s worries with his thoughtless words, that he’s not in it for the long run either, no matter how much affection he has shown the kid.  
Could he turn it around, now that the boy has closed up again or won’t he believe a word Levi says, if he’s trying to convince him otherwise? He groans at the prospect of possibly having to start again from scratch but tries to calm himself that not all hope is lost.  
He knows Eren and his sudden changes in character and temper and he will probably have a shot at talking about his feelings again, when the boy has cooled off and a little time has passed.

The downside is, that it also means that he has lost his shot at preventing Eren from meeting his client tomorrow, because there is literally no reason left for the boy to deny someone a meeting with him.  
He had asked Eren not to work and when they finally came to talk about his job and possible relationships, the kid had offered him an opening to come clean, to reveal his feelings and he’s pretty damn sure that – no matter how it would have turned out – the brat wouldn’t have kicked him in the balls by letting himself get fucked into the mattress by someone else, the day after a confession from Levi.

He’s so pissed at himself, he could explode right then and there. Leave it to Levi to fuck up the only thing that really matters in his life.

 

~~~

 

“Man, this is so weird. Are you sure you don’t want to… uh... go for a walk or something?”  
Eren nervously rubs his elbow with his free hand, the other still holding his shirt, to be put in the hamper and Levi nods in response.  
“Just want to be sure that Reiner doesn’t show up.”, and _god_ , he hopes he does. He’s practically praying since half an hour that the douchebag caught wind of Eren being here and is going to knock on the door, giving Levi a reason to beat the shit out of him and get out some of the frustration that has been wrecking him the whole night and morning.

Eren shrugs and puts his clothes away, before he turns to Levi again, awkwardly playing with the fabric of his bathrobe. “Well ok then… I’m going to be back soon.”

He walks out of his apartment, leaving Levi on the couch, staring into the emptiness that is the brats home while his fingers are mindlessly clutching the cushions of the sofa below him.  
Must be some weird desire for self-destruction, that had caused him to not only drive Eren to his place for his fuck session, but telling the brat that he’s going to wait till he’s done and ready to be driven back to their currently shared home.

Maybe he had hoped for a miracle, that if he stayed put and sat down on Eren’s couch, the kid would change his mind in the last second, tell him to forget it all and leave with him but now he’s actually sitting here, waiting for the young man who is going to be _fucked_ mere ten meters and two thin walls away from him and he’s seriously questioning his sanity, when that realization finally hits him.

It takes him less than a second to make up his mind and jump to his feet, already on the way to the door but when he’s about to open it and run out of the apartment – fleeing Eren’s house in a sprint seems to become something like a tradition – he can hear the main entrance open and freezes in place because whoever is going to meet with Eren must be in the small corridor now and Levi isn’t going to reveal the boys living area to one of his clients.

A moment later he finds himself on the couch again, holding his head in both hands, while he can hear the muted sound of voices from the other side and when he hears the second door click shut, he can’t bring himself to get up and leave discreetly because the only thing more terrifying than knowing what’s happening two rooms away, is the thought of walking into the corridor and _hearing_ it.  
He already had his fair share of that one beautiful morning after waking up from a night with the boy, thinking everything was peachy and it had almost split his heart in two, when he was confronted with the sounds of someone else pounding into the brat. No way he was going to endure that again.

He rubs his tired eyes, red from lack of sleep and moist with angry tears and he’s wondering why he’s doing that to himself. It’s not out of some sick pleasure, because Levi only feels sick – no pleasure to be found – and that only leaves him with the idea that he has either been in denial when he brought Eren here or that a part of himself wanted to punish him for his idiotic fuckup the night before. Or for being stupid enough to develop feelings for Eren. Or for cheating on Petra and leaving her.  
For everything, really and honestly, maybe he deserves punishment. Maybe he deserves to get his heart broken for breaking Petra’s, maybe he had it coming for him, but he can’t get over the fact that the one who is making him suffer is Levi himself.  
Just how deep is he going to fall before he hits rock bottom?

He’s distracted from his thoughts when he hears the doors again, after what could have barely been five minutes and he scowls at the thought of how much of an asshole you have to be to get off that quickly, because it may be easily doable – especially with someone like Eren – but it also means to just jump the kid immediately, give him a fast fuck and leave right after.

Folding his hands and rubbing them together, he waits for the young man to return to his apartment for a shower and clean clothes and when it doesn’t happen, he’s getting pictures of Eren being tied up and beaten all over again, but he’s holding his horses for a while, only getting up when another five minutes have passed and tentatively opens the door to stick his head into the corridor and listens.

He’s met with silence and sneaks to the other door, considering his next move for a moment, before he decides to go for it and gives the wood a soft knock, that is met with silence once again.  
“Eren?”  
He waits, but doesn’t get any answer. He’s absolutely certain that, whoever was with Eren has left and he’s pretty sure that the brat didn’t follow him out of the door with nothing but his bathrobe.  
_Kidnapping?_  
Levi is instantly moving to push down the handle and when the door swings open, he spots Eren on the bed immediately, naked with his eyes closed and a lit cigarette in hand.

“Eren?”, he tries again, and the boys’ lids fly open, his expression less than pleased. “Sorry, I got worried…”  
“Guess that’s what having a pimp feels like.”, the brat answers with a bored expression and Levi frowns at the words.  
“Yeah, sorry for caring.”

Eren huffs out a strained laugh but doesn’t reply and Levi wonders if he should just leave the room again and wait for the young man to follow him, or if it would make things even worse to step out now.  
He’s about to excuse himself when his eyes trail off, over to the chair with Eren’s bathrobe, further to the wall, only to end up at the trash can that’s standing on the ground close to him – a psychologist would certainly have a good time picking his weird masochism apart – but instead of the expected dread and misery, he only feels surprise and muted happiness when his eyes lock onto the empty bin.  
No tissues. No used condoms.  
_Thanks god_.

“You didn’t have sex.”  
Eren shrugs and gets up, putting out the cigarette and it doesn’t pass him by, that the young man seems exceptionally unhappy with the fact he just stated.  
Not exactly the reaction he was wishing for but it’s not bad enough to tame the elation that is bubbling in his stomach now, while the kid grabs his bathrobe and slides into it.  
“Is everything alright?”  
“Just let it go, Levi.”  
“Talk to me?”

An annoyed look is all he receives first but he’s holding his ground and a few seconds into their staring contest, the brat relents, his shoulders slumping, and shakes his head.  
“I couldn’t.”  
“You couldn’t?”  
He makes a careful step forward, slowly, as if Eren is a skittish animal ready to bolt, before the young man throws his hand in the air with an exasperated groan and starts ranting.  
“I can’t fuck someone with you sitting within spitting distance! This…”, he swings his arm around in a gesture encompassing both of them and the room, “… is too fucking weird! It’s fucking weird Levi! What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Huh…”, he answers eloquently, closing the remaining distance between them, before he grabs Eren’s hands, forcing the kid to look down at him and makes his best effort to smile without looking too pleased at the same time.  
The brat is scowling again but his eyes don’t waver, obviously expecting some sort of answer and when Levi can’t find any words to describe what’s going on in his head, he opts for raising one of Eren’s hands to plant a short kiss on his wrist, before he repeats himself.

“Huh…”


	14. Meeting the family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter - A little shorter this time, with less internal monologues and more awkward smut, because everyone wants mindless passion but life is hard and butts are tight, so you get embarrassing make-out sessions instead of glorious sexy time :P  
> Mikasa makes a short visit and you will find out why later... <3
> 
> On a different note: We're nearing the end. I think 4 or 5 more chapters? But I already have an idea for another story with an A/B/O setting and now I'm wondering if people might enjoy that. I like the omegaverse background, but I'm insecure, as always, haha...ha...  
> If you want, you can let me know if you think that would be cool, it's going to be a different take on the characters though. Huh, I don't want to reveal too much just yet *lol*
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter and thanks for your support <3

In hindsight, Levi will probably realize, that he should have a conversation with Eren now and clarify all the unspoken things that hang between them, but talking can be hard, really, _really_ hard, even for a grown man who isn’t prone to losing his cool but feels himself at a lack of words surprisingly often lately, which is why Levi – man of action – postpones their conversation against better judgement, with the firm belief in mind that demonstrating his feelings speaks louder than any speech ever could and Eren doesn’t deny him.

Levi has mixed feelings about the kids apartment, after all, he had to undergo a lot of different emotions in this place – good ones, bad ones and really fucking horrible ones – but the thought doesn’t make it to the forefront of his mind, with his attention solely focused on the young man next to him, who’s caught between undressing himself, undressing Levi and stumbling towards the bedroom.

It’s always the same with the brat when it comes to rolling in the sheets. He can be shy or bold or short-tempered throughout the day but as soon as he’s shedding his clothes and dives into the bed, he’s oozing with confidence and the annoyance he so clearly felt a few moments ago, seems to be forgotten.  
He’s naked in a heartbeat, with nothing but the bathrobe he has to rid himself of, and leans back into the pillows, watching Levi fumble with his zipper, before he can shove his pants down and it’s only when he’s about to crawl on top of the boy, that his brain comes to a halt, while he stares into green eyes with a hesitant expression.  
“Everything alright?”

Levi sits up, still looking down at the boy and nods, because yes, everything is okay and he doesn’t have second thoughts about worshipping the body in front of him that so clearly couldn’t open up to someone else anymore, but a nagging voice in the back of his head is whispering to him, that he has to stop taking from Eren, that he wants it to be different from all the other fuckers, who’ve satisfied themselves in his warm embrace and isn’t that what it’s about?  
He doesn’t want to be a client, he wants something different but the young man has his own share of worries and insecurities and maybe it’s Levi’s turn to show him just how much power he holds, that he’s in control too and that Levi is ready to _give himself_ to him, because he is.  
He’s done so many unexpected, new and terrifying things with the brat so far, not just his first sexual experience with a man, and at this point he’s pretty certain that he’ll always make an even bigger leap for the kid, not asking ‘ _why?_ ’, when Eren tells him to jump, but ‘ _how high?_ ’.  
“Let’s… switch.”

Eren nods, already sitting up on the bed, probably to straddle Levi and it’s only when he sees how the older man bites his bottom lip, his eyes cast to the side, that the brat gets the hint.  
“You want me to…”  
Levi nods.  
“Are you sure?”  
He shakes his head and Eren laughs, pressing a kiss to the corner of Levi’s open mouth, before he guides him down to the mattress, already focused at the task at hand, because he’s a fucking minx while Levi is right back to the state of their first night. Uncertain, embarrassed and nervous.

Eren’s expression is soft, not sultry and his hands are gentle instead of greedy, when he takes his time to explore Levi’s skin to give him a chance to calm _the fuck_ down and relax – he’s sure that being relaxed is kind of a must-have for this to work – but his nerves are dancing the tango and he feels insecure as hell, when Eren starts to pry his legs open, careful but insistent, to get a good look at Levi’s backside.

“Are you scared?”, he opens a bottle of lubricant and there isn’t the slightest hint of amusement about Levi’s worried expression in his voice, just genuine care.  
“Fuck, yeah.”  
Eren nods and his eyes follow the brats arm moving to his rear, before he snaps his gaze back to the boys’ face. “It’s a little scary. Uncomfortable too… But you know that I’m going to make you feel good, right?”

He’s about to tell the brat to get the fuck on with it, but the feeling of a careful fingertip at his entrance shuts him up and he nods, because who is he trying to fool here. He’s pretty damn nervous and had never really considered to show his asshole to anyone, let alone get it stuffed with a dick.

Eren’s slick finger enters him smoothly, not rushing things but neither going too slow, as if the kid can sense that Levi is experiencing some sort of negative overstimulation. It’s uncomfortable but doesn’t hurt and overall just leaves him with the sudden feeling that he needs to defecate, as if his body instinctively tries to rid himself of the intrusion in his rectum.  
“How is it?”, Eren starts moving his finger and Levi gulps, squeezing his eyes shut.  
“Honestly?”  
“Honestly.”  
“Bad.”

The finger stills and god this is so fucking awkward, but Eren’s voice stays calm and relaxed and it’s somewhat helping. “It hurts?”  
He shakes his head. “I feel like I need to take a shit.”  
“That’s normal… It takes a while…”, the young man picks up his ministrations again, slowly moving his finger inside of him and it takes what feels like ages, till the unpleasant stimulus numbs and he finally stops clenching down permanently.  
Having Eren’s lips around his cock, when he introduces a second finger makes it a little better but he feels the stretch now and it burns and it makes him wonder if sex is always this uncomfortable for Eren, because whatever this is, it’s certainly not good, bearable at the most.

The brat isn’t oblivious to his discomfort, licking him tenderly and rubbing gentle circles into his thigh, while he begins to massage his insides, ceasing the back and forth movement of his fingers in order to rub his walls and it finally starts to feel better.  
He’s giving the prostate massage a lot of time and never stops sucking him off and Levi has to admit that it’s good, that everything feels more intense and more vivid and he’s probably not going to be fucked into oblivion tonight, writhing in ecstasy like he has seen it happening to Eren, but he likes the slow buildup and truly enjoys the new sensations, that he didn’t expect to feel after the initial discomfort.

“Do you want to try?”, Eren asks a while after stuffing Levi’s bum with a third finger and he nods wordlessly.  
He still feels awkward and his rim hurts, stretched too wide, too fast by Eren’s girth but the stimulation from his fingering hasn’t faded yet and the brat easily picks up on it with slow, gentle movements while his fingers caress Levi’s dick tenderly and he tells him how good and tight and warm he feels.  
It’s a strange mix, being caught between the slight pain and the pleasurable waves, that make his breath hitch, but he feels content, not scared that Eren might hurt him or insecure about giving himself away like this and when they stop kissing, stop talking, just look at each other while their bodies move together, he feels at home with a wide heart and a smile on his lips and there’s nowhere in the world he’d rather be right now.  
“I love you, Eren.”

The kid smiles, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips right after and Levi is closing his eyes.  
“I know baby…”  
Their breaths mix when the exhale together in a low chuckle, lifting their arms to hold on tight to each other and when Levi spills his seed all over himself, he feels Eren’s mouth on his own, drinking in all the moans and little whimpers, holding him like a fragile piece of glass and he thinks it’s alright if he’s going to shatter now, because the young man is next to him, and Levi trusts him to pick up the pieces.

 

~~~

 

His ass hurts. A lot.  
It’s sore and unnaturally open and he’s pretty sure that his sphincter is never going to fully close again.  
Eren tells him that’s nonsense, but that doesn’t do anything to make him stop doubting that his dignity as a man is still intact after getting his backdoor virginity taken and crawling home as if he’s invalid.  
Okay, he knows it’s a little closed-minded to think that way but then again, he tells himself that it’s perfectly normal for a man to feel sensitive about his asshole. Or for anyone for that matter.

“I waddle like a penguin.”  
Eren laughs, ignoring the hidden accusation in Levi’s words, saying ‘ _and it’s your damn fault_ ’ loud and clear. “You asked for it.”  
“I did.”  
“You liked it.”  
“Mhm.”

Sitting down on his couch is a little bit of a challenge but he doesn’t hold a grudge against the boy, his annoyance completely directed at himself and the part of his body that doesn’t feel as it’s supposed to be, because for the act itself that led to his current state, he feels no regrets.  
On the contrary, he can already feel the shift between them, the new kind of intimacy that isn’t physical and it’s so god damn relaxing, not to feel anxious for a change but soothed and calm.

“You have any more ‘ _appointments_ ’ lined up?”  
Eren nods, while he sits down next to him, crossing his legs in front of him.  
“You’re going to cancel them?”, he nods again and Levi smiles, reaching for one of his hands and entwining their fingers.  
_So far so good_.

“You know… I’ve always wondered…”, his gaze meets Eren’s green eyes and the boys’ glance grows more curious with every passing second. “Why prostitution? There’s better ways to make money, no?”  
The brat shrugs, not completely defensive but not laid-back either, and Levi waits patiently for him to answer, rubbing Eren’s knuckles with his thumb but what he hears instead of a thorough explanation from the young man, is the fucking doorbell, disrupting the tranquil silence of his home.  
“What the…”

Eren mouths a kiss at Levi’s hand, before he lets go of it and rises from the couch, both of them perfectly aware that it would take the older man a fucking lifetime to get his ass up at the moment but the kid tells him to stay where he is for good measure, before he makes his way to the entrance and Levi starts chanting ‘ _Please not Hange. Please not Hange. Please not Hange._ ’ in his head, knowing that there’s no way in hell for him to hide his ‘delicate condition’ from her if she has decided to drop by and god knows, he’s not ready for an in-depth interview about his anus.

What storms his apartment isn’t a whirlwind of energetic madness though, but rather a whirlwind of wrath and he blinks confused at the black-haired woman, who stomps into his living room, still wearing her dirty shoes – seriously why can’t anybody take their fucking shoes off in his home? – and arguing with Eren in a blur of shouts and hectic gestures.

“Hello?”, he throws in loud enough to catch her attention and Eren heaves a deep breath, looking relieved about her being distracted for a second or two, before she turns back to him with an unimpressed look.  
“Who’s that midget?”  
The brat rolls his eyes and shakes his head, while Levi cocks a brow at her tone. “That’s Levi. You’re standing in _his apartment_ , Mikasa.”  
Levi in return, receives a guilty, apologetic look from him. “That’s my sister.”  
“Ah.”

“You’re fucking him too?”, she asks, and he shrugs with a grin on his lips, not deterred by her deathly glare in the slightest because he may suck at talking and feelings and all that emotional crap, but this right here is his element.  
“I guess. I also throw people out of my house if they don’t get their shit together.”  
“How did you even find me?”, Eren intercepts and she shrugs, saying something about the ‘lost my device’ tracking options of his phone and Levi isn’t sure what’s more disturbing: The fact that she’s stalking her brother or that Eren doesn’t even seem surprised about it, never mind asking how she knows his passwords and PINs.

“I’m not going to waste time for this. You’re coming home with me this instant.”  
The young man seems to be ready to snap at her words, but before he can start to give his sister a piece of his mind, he gets interrupted by the cheery laugh, coming from Levi’s direction and shoots him an incredulous look.  
“Does this look like a kindergarten to you? Get your ass out off my home and if you want to come here again, learn some manners and call first.”

She stares back at him, stunned into silence for a moment and it’s just too funny to watch her, since Levi knows precisely what’s going on in her head, no matter how crappy his people skills are, because he’s been exactly the same at her age and it took him a while as well, to get used to the way that all his anger and profanities are just bouncing off of Erwin and Hange.  
She’s simply not used to someone ignoring her hostility and talking back at her.

He’s getting up now, slowly, considering the pain in his neither regions, but it doesn’t take anything away from the stern impression he’s making with his clear body language, straight posture and grim expression and he knows that all too well.  
Missy is obviously shaking with anger but when she isn’t able to come up with a response, she just opts for ignoring him and turns her attention back to the boy. “I’m not leaving you here with one of your _suitors_.”

“I’m his boyfriend.”, he comments, just the way Eren had done with Petra present in the very same room and he can’t stop the smile that tugs at the corner of his lips, when she gives him a blank stare and snorts, spitting “Yeah, sure” in his direction but looking shocked the very next second, with her eyes going wide when Eren grabs his hand, squeezing it firmly and nods.  
“Yeah, he is.”

“And you really think I’m going to believe that?”  
“Ask Armin, he knows Levi. We started dating at Sina.”, Eren replies, twisting the truth a little and Levi can see the clear disappointment flashing through her face at his words, probably because the blonde is better informed than Eren’s own sister and he can perfectly understand it.  
He doesn’t know much about their relationship, is meeting her the first time but the young woman seems to harbor the kind of misguided love, that renders Eren unable to do anything by himself in her head. She’s like a helicopter mom – annoying and certainly not helpful – and it’s not surprising that the brat feels inclined to keep to himself if she declares everything he does to be bad or wrong or useless without considering his opinion and feelings, in the same way, she is trying to deny their relationship right now.

“I think you should go.” Releasing Levi’s hand, Eren puts an arm around his shoulder instead, to draw him closer, as if he needs Levi to steady him under the scrutinizing glare of his sister, still full of anger but mixed with the pain of rejection now.  
She turns around, not granting them a word of goodbye and leaves through the entrance and when they hear the door closing, Eren’s knees almost seem to give in from exhaustion.

“Interesting family you’ve got there.”  
“Don’t get me started…”  
“Boyfriend, huh?”  
The brat is flashing him a shy smile, not even close to the usual grin that splits his face but still too damn bright for his own good and Levi smiles back, because this is different, hasn’t been said in the same way they had told it to Petra, but he actually means it this time, wants it, and judging by Eren’s face he’s not alone with his wild fantasies of being together anymore.

“Shut up, old man…”, he gives Levi’s butt a little slap and the older man groans from the sudden jolt of discomfort that runs through his spine. “You little shit!”  
Eren just grins wider, stepping away from him and sticking his tongue out.  
“You can always try to catch me, if you think you’re up to it.”


	15. Unwelcome visitors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new day, a new chapter and even though this is the last arc of the story - if you want to call it an arc - I've tried to map out how much is left to write and now I feel like I'll actually hit 20 chapters... at least. I don't want to just rush through the story or suddenly have everything conveniently revealed. We shall see. SIGH :)
> 
> I haven't had too much time for proofreading this part and I feel like I'm better in general with the internal monologues than actual dialogues, but I hope it is to your taste nevertheless :D  
> Thanks for your love and all the supportive comments - I'm really encouraged and so ready for the lighthearted A/B/O fic, that I have in mind when this little drama is over (But maybe I'll just turn that into a drama too, because that's just how I write *lol*)  
> Enjoy!

Eren doesn’t return to his apartment for a while and things start to settle in. Levi goes back to work, has a few unpleasant talks with Hange and a few even more unpleasant calls from Petra but overall, things are good, and everything feels surprisingly normal and almost boring compared to the emotional roller-coaster they’ve been through during the last weeks.

Besides playing house, Eren and him start talking.  
It begins slowly and tentative, with them slightly brushing the topic of Eren’s time as a prostitute but after two weeks they start to dive deeper and deeper into the conversations and Eren shows astounding honesty when they pick the good – if you want to call them that way – and the ugly parts of his profession apart, the things he has done and endured and it becomes clear, that the brat’s pretty smile is hiding hell a lot of things from the world, but he isn’t ashamed of himself and Levi doesn’t want him to be.

Levi wants them to be open, because he’s already fucked up one relationship and doesn’t want to repeat the process and he knows that Eren is a special case, that basically everything about how they met and became to like each other is different from the standard, so he always listens intently but never judgmental and he thinks that this is how it should be, even if it isn’t always pleasant. That a big portion of really accepting und understanding Eren, of really loving him, is to accept who he is and what he’s done and not to leave blank spaces between them, for each of them to fill with their own horrific imaginations.

He asks the boy, if he considers himself monogamous, when the kid shares insight on the top times of his jobs, with twenty guys lined up per week and Eren tells him in all honesty, that he isn’t sure, that sexual exclusivity doesn’t hold any real value for him, considering his experiences, but he accepts Levi’s wish not to stray, the man being hyper aware of how hypocritical he is, considering that he cheated on his wife, but he tries to explain that too – their marriage, how they fell apart and how he regrets it. He explains Eren, that he wouldn’t have done it if the relationship wasn’t broken already, but that he still knows that he wronged his wife and that he never wants to repeat something like that, wishing for them to be honest, if they realize that things aren’t working for them anymore and for them to talk about it, instead of finding relief in the arms of another person.

Not being jealous is hard, because Eren tells blatant stories and his phone is buzzing nonstop – with messages from friends, families or clients, Levi cannot tell and talking about it is difficult, when he’s ashamed of the nervous feelings inside of him, still wants to be honest about his insecurities but is worried to give the impression, that he doesn’t trust Eren fully, at the same time.  
He knows that the brat has mixed feelings about it, being the free spirit that he is, but he tries to show understanding, shares who is talking to him and when he’s rejecting a client and even though Levi feels a little shitty about it and wonders if he’s controlling the young man too much with his concerns, he’s still appreciating his efforts and tells him so countless times.

Levi wants real commitment.  
They’ve known each other for almost 3 month now and he knows it’s not a lifetime, that the boy won’t give up his apartment instantly and that he’s not going to put a ring on Eren’s finger anytime soon, if ever, because the prospect of being married has lost a bit of its magic for the soon to be divorced man, but he knows that he wants Eren to stay and does his best to show how invested he is.

He wants to be someone that Eren relies on and never feels afraid to ask for anything, may it be the grand things in life or the small issues like picking him up from a lecture or getting him some water, when he’s too exhausted from a day at school and can’t bring himself to move his ass from the couch.  
Doing these things for Eren makes him happy.

So does the sex.  
It’s probably not surprising that they talk about it a lot, because Eren has been silently handling everything that got thrown at him for a long time, no matter if it was great or bad or something in between, because it was his job and he got paid to do what was asked of him and Levi doesn’t want that to happen anymore.  
Levi doesn’t pay the young man and he doesn’t have expectations and it’s important to him, that Eren starts voicing what he wants or doesn’t want or when he’s simply not in the mood.

He also learns that his worries have been baseless, and that the brat doesn’t have a sex addiction or weird kinks or anything really, that he cannot handle and that Eren really likes being at the receiving end of their activities.  
Over time, he lets go of his own fears as well and the pressure to be different, to distinguish himself from the kids other clients dwindles, because at the end of the day, sex is sex and there isn’t a magical way to turn it into a whole new thing and all he really needs is for Eren to be happy and satisfied.

Things are good.  
Probably too good.

Things start to go downhill a month after he coaxed Eren into living with him, when the brat tells him, that one of his former customers showed up at Levi’s door in the middle of the day, while he was at work and it takes only a week until it feels as if they’re stalked by a swarm of people, not knowing the hive mind behind them.  
Someone knows where Eren is, and he’s making appointments for the boy and while they have a good idea about who the person in question is, they have nothing to follow up on it, with all the dates being arranged via text messages from different phones, claiming that Eren has a new number, according to some of the more talkative visitors.

It’s unsettling, to say the least and when Levi comes home one day to a ruckus in the hallway with Eren desperately trying to shoo an upset stranger away and several neighbors lining up the walls and giving their personal opinions to the situation, he calls Erwin, because they’ve obviously underestimated Reiner’s potential intelligence.

The asshole isn’t confronting Eren, he’s trying to torment him by sending the shadows of his former life after him to haunt him and the fact that the brat hasn’t found himself a new part-time job yet doesn’t help either.  
Levi is supporting him financially but he can see that it’s of the tip of Eren’s tongue a few times, to just give in, to just return to who he was and what he’s been doing the last years to shut the people up, to stop the unannounced visits, to pay his bills, to just endure Reiner and the only thing stopping him is Levi’s angry, determined glare and his fierce declarations, that they’ll find a solution.

It’s not easy, and he can tell that Eren starts to crumble.

 

~~~

 

“Sho thwat asswhole shends pweople herw?” Hange is caught somewhere in between talking and chewing on a cookie, while Erwin furrows his monstrous brows and Eren gives her a nod.  
“Most of them are actual clients. It’s fucking scary, I have no idea how he even knows about them. No wonder, they believe him that it’s me.”  
“Maybe he got hold of an old phone of yours or you synced your contacts online.”, Erwin suggests and the brat shrugs. “Yeah maybe, one of the two, I guess.”

Their newly founded war council sighs simultaneously.  
“Well for now, maybe just don’t open the door anymore.”, is Hange’s brilliant solution and Levi shakes his head.  
“Of course not but we need to fix this. One of those idiots could get pissed and spill the beans, sending the police here or to Eren’s place or god knows what. There are a million options for this shit to go wrong and we have no idea, what else he’s got up his sleeves.”  
“Yes, we need to get a hold of Reiner and then you need to move.”, Erwin agrees.

“I could always just try to talk with him”, offers the brat and an _“Absolutely not!”_ echoes through the room in three different voices at the same time.  
“Look at what he’s doing. He’s a fucking psychopath, you can’t go near him.”, Levi explains and Hange nods vigorously before she chimes in. “Yeah, the guy has some serious issues!”

“You have been pretty secluded lately. Maybe it’s a good idea to meet with your friends, find out if he got in contact with any of them. He might even show up and we can take care of him for good, the restraining order is still in place.”  
Levi nods at Erwins words, even though the brat has doubt written all over his face. “Or if we can find out when he’s not at home, we could try to find some shit on him.”  
Hange’s eyes go wide with excitement. “Oh my god, Levi! Did you just suggest trespassing someone’s property? I like the new you!”  
“I’m just thinking about our options!”, he defends himself and Erwin chuckles, before he continues diplomatically. “Let’s keep that in mind. For now, Eren has to decide if he wants to go out?”

The boy looks around indecisively and shrugs. “I guess I can try.”

 

~~~

 

“Wow, look who’s gracing me with his presence!”  
“Hey Armin…”, Eren takes a seat at the counter, after hanging his light jacket over said chair and waits for his friend to put a beer in front of him, but Armin just looks at him through blonde strands of hair, that loosened themselves from the messy bun at the back of his head.  
“Seriously Eren, I’ve been going nuts here! I haven’t seen you in a month, only getting some random text messages from you and then Mikasa of all people shows up to tell me that you moved in with Levi?”

Eren’s head swings around to face the windows on his own accord, when he hears the name of his boyfriend – ha, _boyfriend_ – because Levi is somewhere close to the bar, having promised to make sure that he won’t run into any trouble by himself, or rather, that he won’t run into Reiner.  
“She told you then…”  
“Of course she told me! Told me a lot of crazy things to be honest and asked if you two are an item!”  
He chuckles, nodding slowly in response to the information and Armin decides to finally get him a drink.

“So, are you?”, Eren looks up when a bottle of beer is placed in front of him and can’t hide the grin, that’s spreading on his lips.  
“You think she told anyone else?”  
Armin’s eyes go wide, a light blush is starting to show on his cheeks and what exactly he’s embarrassed about, Eren has no idea, but Armin looks as cute as ever. “Holy moly! How? When? What about… you know… the hooker stuff?”

“Armin, _please_ …”, he grabs the bottle and takes a sip. “Do you know if she’s still meeting the old gang?”  
His friend drops his hands on the counter, one eyebrow raising in suspicion and whatever comes next, Eren already knows that there is no way out of it because Armin has that _look_ on his face, like a bloodhound who won’t let go until he finds his prey. “You’re in trouble?”  
It’s not a question, not really, it’s a statement and he sighs in response, clutching to his beer bottle more insistently now, as if it could anchor him on the shaky barstool.

“Maybe…”, Armin’s mouth opens but Eren shakes his head quickly. “But I got it covered. Really!”  
His friend glares at him for a moment, maybe hoping that he will crack but the angry stare of an Armin is, while somewhat scary, just too surreal to make Eren crumble. He knows the short man too well and he knows that Armin is going to give in, if he stays strong. Lucky for him that the blonde man had decided to give him a sour look instead of the puppy eyes.

“She’s still meeting with Anni as far as I know. Those two have always been inseparable…”, Armin finally answers after exhaling a long, defeated breath.  
Anni – right. Anni is part of Reiners social circle, but thinking that they’re handing down Eren’s new address is a bit of a stretch and he doesn’t believe that Mikasa is sharing his passwords with Anni or Reiner either, so where did he get all the numbers of his clients?

Armin is staring at him again, when Eren stops zoning out and he shoots him a smile.  
“I’m worried, Eren. This is exactly the shit I’ve been talking about in the past. I’m not braindead, you know?”  
He reaches out, to grab one of his friends’ small hands, squeezing it in a reassuring gesture. “What are you talking about Armin?”  
“You’re hiding from someone, that’s why you’re staying with Levi, am I right?”

The small man doesn’t let go of Eren’s fingers, but he cocks a brow yet again, as if he wants to tell him that Eren better not dare to bullshit him now and it makes him a bit annoyed at himself that Armin is always pulling every last bit of information out of him so easily, no matter if he wants it or not.  
“Yeah, maybe…”  
“Fuck Eren!”, Armin startles him with his sudden outburst. “Why didn’t you say anything? You could’ve stayed with me or go back home with Mikasa! Is this about your dad again?!”  
“Keep it down, will you?!”

Finally releasing his friends’ fingers, to sheepishly rub the back of his neck, he averts his eyes with a shrug. “It’s not that easy Armin. It wouldn’t change much and… I don’t want to get you involved either.”  
The stern expression in Armin’s gentle features softens and he shakes his head. “You know that we would find a solution together, we’re always going to be here for you.” And looking away he adds with a low voice, “You really won’t tell me what’s going on? I… understand that you trust Levi, I’m happy for you, really, but…”

“Hey. No. No, Armin.”, Eren leans over the counter, grabbing the blonde mans’ chin, to turn his face in his direction and strokes his cheek gently, when Armin stops resisting and meets his eyes. “It’s not about trusting you less than him.”  
His friend doesn’t answer and Eren shakes his head, rephrasing his statement. “I don’t trust you less than him. I trust you. Period.”  
“But…?”, Armin almost pouts now – god damned he’s so adorable – and it makes him chuckle.  
“But you can’t help me at the moment and I’ve actually thought long and hard about it for a change…”, it doesn’t pass him by, that his friend starts grinning at his statement, “…and I think it’s better not to involve anyone around me. If you really want to help me, don’t tell anyone about Levi or where I’m living and if you hear anything from our school friends, let me know.”

Armin nods, a contemplating look on his face, while he taps on his lips with his right index-finger and frowns. “Actually… Reiner and Berthold have been here. We didn’t talk much but they’ve been asking how everyone’s doing.”  
Eren gulps, trying his best to hide that the blood is draining from his face, with a careful smile, while Armin continues. “It has been a while though, maybe three weeks ago?”

Three weeks, only days after Erwin’s and Levi’s surprise visit at Reiner’s doorstep.  
That’s not giving them hell a lot to work with, but it seems practically proven to him now, that the asshole is behind his current situation. Why would he come here, if not to search for him?  
“They come here often?”  
“No, was the first time.”   
_Thought so_.

“What did you tell them?”  
Suspicion creeps into Armin’s face again but he doesn’t prod further. “Uhm… well, the usual. Mikasa studies, you study, I study, everybody is fine, my shifts are too long, yada-yada-yada…”  
Right, Armin is good at small talk and weaves speeches that last hours without really saying a thing, with only a few people in his life having the honor to make real conversation with him.  
Sort of reminds him of Erwin.

He drinks the last, stale bit of his beer and puts the empty bottle on the counter, before he gets up.  
“Leaving already?”  
“Yeah, sorry, I gotta go. I can give you a good-bye kiss?”, he wiggles his eyebrows and Armin snorts.  
“I’m not gay Eren.”  
“But I am!”, his friend is blushing again when he sputters at him, accompanied by shooing motions.  
“You’ve got a boyfriend! Go kiss Levi!”

 

~~~

 

He spots Eren from his place on the bench a few meters down the street, when the young man leaves the bar and gets up to join him on their way home.  
A million questions in mind, Levi opens his mouth when Eren stops in front of him, but the kid leans down, to greet him with a short kiss instead and it shuts him up for a few moments, by flooding his head with useless hormones.  
“You could’ve come in, you know? Armin doesn’t bite.”

Levi makes a dismissive gesture, before the brat hooks his arm around his, to lead them in the direction of Levi’s apartment. “I didn’t want to scare Reiner off, by sitting next to you, in case he decided to join you. He probably still believes, that I’m working for the police.”  
“You really think he’s stalking me?”  
“Tch, how the hell do I know? Half of the time I feel like I’m trapped in a shitty crime movie! When I was your age, we settled things with a few punches in the back of the schoolyard and today we’ve got cyber-bullying and body shaming. Feel free to explain to me what the fuck went wrong with your generation!”

Eren laughs, his whole body shaking, while he holds on to Levi’s arm and the brats obvious joy draws a little smirk from his lips.  
“Well you’re not wrong.”, the young man finally says, when he’s finished with his laughing fit and Levi turns his head to him in worry. “Seems like Reiner has been looking for me at Sina, after your visit with Erwin.”  
The boy sighs into the cool evening air and rolls his eyes at his next words. “I really don’t feel like it, but I think I need to call my sister. She’s friends with someone who’s friends with Reiner…”  
A groan escapes him before he continues. “Yeah, really sounds like a bad crime movie.”

Levi grins at Eren’s assessment. “You think she knows something useful?”  
“No clue…”, the brat looks a little lost for a moment, but seems to shake it off. “But I don’t have any better ideas and I want it to be over. Armin starts to get jealous at you.”  
“Excuse me?”  
Eren’s eyes sparkle with mischief, his words playful and obviously out to tease him. “Have you seen him? I can’t have that angelic cutie be mad at me!”


	16. Guesswork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everybody! It's time for some answers!  
> I thought about dragging it out a bit more but eventually decided against it, because I think it would feel too much like pointless fillers, even though it might have helped to show the severity of the whole stalking thing a bit better. I hope it comes across without writing two chapters about Eren's and Levi's every day life with a stalker.  
> And of course I hope that you enjoy this chapter - it may not be super exciting but it reveals a few things, so that's something to look forward to :D

Levi spends most of their way home with listening to Eren, who’s trying to convince him that Armin is just a friend and that he isn’t gay and that he was really, _really_ just kidding and while he believes all of it, he’s having too much of a good time watching the brat stumble over his own words, to end his misery.  
It’s only when the kid starts a more serious approach to explain his earlier comment, that Levi finally relents and entwines their fingers. “He didn’t mean it, Eren. I’m sure he knows that you trust him but staying with one of your friends is like pointing a neon sign at yourself.”

The brat nods in understanding but argues back regardless. “He still found me, it didn’t do much in the end.”  
“Yeah, but he’s not going to show up at my doorstep. You think Reiner would hold back from paying Armin’s house a visit if you were there?”  
Eren mulls over Levi’s words for a moment, eventually shaking his head. “I guess not… And if I tell Armin about Reiner, he’ll tell Mikasa.  
“Yeah, and even I know by now how good she’s at controlling herself. She’ll end up in a cell instead of him.”

The sullen look on Eren’s face reminds him of a completely different kind of heartache than the one he had been dealing with the last months. Something he hasn’t felt for Petra in years before their break up, even though he had made her cry so often and he stops the kid gently, cupping his cheek with his free hand and smiles at him, hoping that he can dispel the concerns from Eren’s features, that make something clench painfully inside of Levi’s chest.  
“Hey…” The young man looks up, worries mingling with a certain warmth in his eyes. A warmth, that Levi has recognized to only be there, when the boy looks at him.  
“She’s going to be okay, Eren. Armin is going to be okay and so are you. You know that I’m not letting you down, right?”

Levi’s hand drops to his side, when Eren turns his head away, one arm rising in front of his eyes and he chokes out a “Fuck” between two sobs, the cheer from a few minutes ago, completely washed from his frame.  
“Eren…”, he tries, tugging at the boys’ sleeve and Eren shakes his head, while turning back to him.  
“I never wanted you to get mixed up in this mess, Levi.”

He sighs, his eyes closing for a moment, lips pressed thin, because it’s not the first time they’re having this conversation, not the first time he hears the brat say these words and it’s inevitably going to end in Eren telling him, that he should’ve just kept things like they were, if Levi doesn’t find the right words now.  
“That’s… not how I see it, Eren. You know that too.”  
The young man opens his mouth in reply, but he beats him to it. “Your life is not a mess to me. You didn’t do anything wrong and there’s no shame in needing help. Things suck for the moment, but you shouldn’t just keep going. It’s better to fix them, before they break for good.”

Eren gulps and nods with a shaky breath and Levi finds this to be one of the rare occasions, where he’s glad to be so much older than the brat, because the seriousness and conviction in his words combined with his stoic expression, never fail to calm the young man down, as if he believes that Levi knows exactly how to solve every single problem in the world. Levi seems to portray a source of unwavering security to the young man, much like a parent would do and if his additional years, filled with a bad marriage and a crappy job have some use in making Eren feel safe, then he’s fine with being an old fart compared to the boy.

Calling Mikasa is relatively fruitless, but Levi has expected as much, because Eren seems to keep his guard up and get defensive, whenever Levi just so much as mentions his sister in the slightest, as if he’s expecting her to jump out of the nearest closet.  
The brat loves his sister, there’s no doubt about that, but the last two years and the choices that Eren had made for himself seem to have strained their relationship. The young man explained him after her visit, that Mikasa seems to be torn between her newly developed desire to be at his side and protect him, and her negative feelings for her brothers’ ‘abhorrent’ profession.

She doesn’t want him to work as a hooker and Eren doesn’t resent her for it but the way she has been dealing with that new reality when it was revealed to her, appears to be extremely complicated and a great part of it seems to be, that she’s treating the boy like an infant, as if his choice of work has proven, that he can’t handle himself and she can’t leave him alone.

With that being the basis for Eren’s call, it’s no surprise that he doesn’t get much out of her.  
She’s firing questions at him, that make the boy more and more agitated by the minute, while he doesn’t dare to ask too many things himself, apparently worried, that she’ll show up at their house again if he’s raising too much suspicion.  
Levi wouldn’t mind, but he lets Eren handle it as he thinks is right, because she’s his family and he doesn’t want to make the same mistake as Mikasa and patronize him.

The only thing they learn is, that she indeed has been meeting with Reiner and his friends, or rather with Anni which then met with the others for a night of clubbing, but not much else.  
They both still believe, that Mikasa is the most likely source for Eren’s contacts as well as his new address, but how Reiner got a hold of them, they have no idea and when the brat starts suggesting, that he might have hacked her phone, hypnotized her or gave her a truth serum, Levi calls a halt to their brainstorming and tells him that he’s reading too much science fiction.

Eren is restless this night, because patience is not his greatest virtue and he has hoped for more, for something more substantial but they’re still treading at the same spot and it takes another round of well-meant assurances from Levi to keep the young man’s frustration in check.  
When the boy has finally taken his mind off of the situation at hand, Levi tends to Eren, taking his sweet time to lure breathless moans and shuddering sighs from his lips and tugs him in with a kiss on the temple soon after, when Eren is spent and the taste of his seed tingles on Levi’s tongue.

 

~~~

 

The surprise visits don’t stop, but become a lot less frequent, probably because Eren has turned most of his former clients away by now and Levi wonders if Reiner will start handing Eren’s number out to more random strangers but instead of a new increase of wannabe suitors, they’re starting to get text messages.  
The brat starts to get messages to be more exact and while Levi has a short moment of triumph, thinking that they got Reiner by the balls now, if they can proof that he’s on the other end of the correspondence, Eren only grows more fidgety.

It takes an afternoon with Erwin for Levi to face the sobering truth, that despite still feeling like he’s in the midst of a crime show, they can’t just track the messages back to Reiner by pushing a few buttons. They have no way to proof that the burly blonde is contacting Eren, with the messages being too vague, and going to the police to make them pull information from the phone provider, to end up getting confirmation that someone is using half a dozen disposable numbers isn’t going to get them anywhere. The officials won’t grant them a search warrant for Reiner’s house or an in-depth investigation to solve this matter – Eren is caught up in stalking, not an international crime syndicate – and the only thing they could hope for would be a restraining order, which they already have.

It’s exhausting, and Levi starts to understand just how helpless most stalking victims must feel, because there’s really not a lot you can do at the end of the day, besides hoping that the pursuer makes a mistake at some point.

At the end of another week, the messages start to get more specific, asking Eren ‘ _What would daddy think?_ ’ and ‘ _Are you ready to watch?_ ’.  
Levi can’t make much sense of it and inquiries the boy if Reiner is talking about him in a mocking way or if he’s speaking of Eren’s real father. He walks the brat through various different scenarios, such as revealing the boys’ homosexuality or his former job to his family, or that Reiner could have made pictures or videos of Eren while they were going at it, but the young man can’t tell him much about what exactly Reiner is threatening him with, explaining that his father knows that he’s gay and that revelations about his occupation would be shocking and humiliating, but he’s convinced that his relatives would have his back nevertheless.

Levi is none the wiser after countless conversations but the way Eren looks more and more tired every day and becomes short-tempered and jumpy, just becomes way worse in general compared to the episode when they had unexpected visitors instead of messages, doesn’t pass him by and the texts keep coming, puzzling Levi time and time again with their content and with the young man’s severe reactions to them.

 _I will tell him._  
_I will tell everyone._  
 _You better don’t make me wait._  
 _Say good bye to your family._

 

~~~

 

Erwin takes a tentative sip from his hot cappuccino, while Levi’s fingers tap impatiently on the tabletop, because his lunch break is almost over, and his friend hasn’t said much yet, even though he was the one who wanted to meet. Nothing but a few pointed questions and meaningful looks and to say that Levi is irritated is the understatement of the century.  
“Listen eyebrows, I don’t have all day. Are you going to tell me why I’m here, or not?”

The cup clatters softly, when Erwin puts it down on the table and he takes another moment to look thoughtful into the distance, before he nods to himself as if he has finished an internal dialogue.  
“I have… a hunch. But I’m not sure.”

Levi straightens his back, his attention immediately focused on the blonde man in front of him. “A hunch?”  
Erwin nods again, this time in Levi’s direction, folds his hands in his lap and seems to hesitate – a trait Levi doesn’t see often in him – seemingly still in the middle of thinking his own ideas through.  
“The new messages you’ve shown me yesterday and the reactions from Eren you described...”, he lets the sentence hang in the air without completing it, just jumping right to the conclusion instead. “I think it’s safe to assume, that Eren is hiding something from you and I might just know what that is.”

His eyes widen at Erwin’s words. He isn’t a retard and he trusts Eren, but he has already figured out himself, that he is missing some piece of information. If the brat is hiding something from him or he is just not asking the right questions, he doesn’t know, since the kid could have simply forgotten about whatever incident Reiner is talking about and he didn’t corner the boy yet, feeling that it is important that he stays a safe haven for him, even if it doesn’t make things easier right now.

“The reason why I asked you earlier, if you know Eren’s father is, that he’s actually quite famous. I thought you might have heard of him.”  
“Famous?”  
“Yes. Or should I say infamous?”, Erwin’s stern face is just as unsettling as his words and Levi knows that he won’t like where this is going.  
“What’s he famous for?”  
“White-collar crime.”  
He stares flabbergasted. “You gotta be shitting me! Is everyone in this family doing something illegal?!”

His friend chuckles, before he picks up where he left. “Dr. Grisha Jäger is a renowned pharmacist. He has been working for _Trost Pharmaceuticals_ for over a decade, leading the research division, he even was member of the board. I remembered that I’ve been reading about him in the newspapers when you showed me the texts that specifically mentioned Eren’s ‘ _daddy_ ’ and ‘ _family_ ’, so I looked it up again.”  
“What did he do?”  
“That’s the million-dollar question. About three years ago he has been accused of a wide range of misdoings. Embezzlement, patent infringement, money laundering, theft, the list goes on and on. He was done for, but the investigation opened the Pandora’s box for Trost Pharmaceuticals as well, with most of their formulas being stolen, half of their products missing the FDA standards when closely reexamined and it was clear that thousands of people would lose their jobs and Jäger wouldn’t see the world outside of a cell ever again.”

Levi nods in disbelief. “Sounds… shitty.”  
“Very…”, Erwin makes a pause, apparently preparing for the finale and grins like a cashier cat when he drops the last bit of information. “But Jäger never got convicted. The investigation got dropped two years ago, without ever making it to court. He’s retired now, and TP stocks are thriving better than ever.”  
“Two years ago…” He goes quiet for a moment, licks his suddenly dry lips while the puzzle pieces fall into place and it takes him a few deep breaths, before he is able to speak again. “I’m not dating a hooker, I’m dating some sort of special agent who fucked his dad to freedom.”

“No.”, his friend shakes his head, barely containing the laughter that threatens to spill from his lips at Levi’s words. “I think you’re dating a very young man who was even younger when he did something very stupid and was very, _very_ lucky to get away with it and now it’s coming back to bite him in the ass.”

 

~~~

 

His head is almost spinning from the new input while Levi is forcing himself to do some work in the afternoon.  
It seems a bit farfetched at first glance but the longer he thinks about it, the more does it make sense. Eren has started to prostitute himself two years ago, around the same time when the case against his father and Trost Pharmaceuticals got dropped. He has never told Levi why exactly he started to be a hooker and he knows the brat is impulsive and doesn’t think everything through. It doesn’t take much to convince Levi that the man got his hands on someone involved by some happy coincidence and decided to make the most of it.

Maybe he simply managed to blackmail someone into making the ‘right decision’ after a thorough fuck or he obtained useful information. People talk to whores, don’t they?

He knows basically nothing about Eren’s family aside from his relationship with his sister – the boy has only ever described his mother as gentle and his father as strict but didn’t utter a single word about what they do for a living or who exactly they are.  
He remembers their very first night together at the bar, when the brat told him that there are no debts forcing him to work and he can easily accept that statement now, because Eren’s family must be filthy rich, which also explains why he always looks well groomed aside from his chaotic hair. Levi had just written it off to his job.

He finds more and more arguments to back his theory during the next few hours. The way Eren enjoyed art exhibitions and good restaurants with Levi  on their dates – a tribute to his good upbringing –, the way his sister is overprotective and constantly checks on him, because she knows – he knows that she fucking knows –, the way his demeanor changed with every new text message from Reiner, because he understood _exactly_ what the asshole was hinting at and – _of course_ – the way Eren _constantly_ repeated that he never wanted Levi to get mixed up in _his mess_.

Now he finally knows what god damn mess the brat was talking about.

Reiner’s messages clearly indicate that Grisha doesn’t know about the involvement of his son in keeping his freedom and the constant threats about telling everyone and that Eren is better off with saying good bye to his family could be a sign, that the man has either enough information to reopen the case against Eren’s father or evidence regarding Eren’s participation and is able to fuck one of them over, if not both.

Suddenly he feels very happy about Reiner being a sadistic shitstain who takes his time to torment Eren instead of cutting it short and destroying the brats’ life from one minute to another. Maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe Reiner _knows_ but he doesn’t have enough to nail Eren down just yet.

When he can finally leave the office, he feels like he’s going insane all over again, despite having been convinced since a few weeks ago, that he is finally done with that specific emotion.  
The afternoon traffic only riles him up further when he speeds though the city, ignoring half a dozen times how the lights turn red and speeding over the crossroads at the last second, before the cars on the left and right can start moving and crush him in the middle of the street.

After messily parking his car in front of the apartment complex, he’s taking the stairs two steps at a time and feels his smoker lung wheeze under the unexpected strain but he doesn’t take time to catch his breath, doesn’t want to because the only part of his body that is screaming louder for attention than his hurting chest is his brain, running a thousand miles a minute.

Levi needs answers. A lot of them. And he needs them right the fuck _now_.


	17. Meeting the devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! So I need to write a little more this time, sorry about that.  
> First of all I want to apologize, that it took me so long to update, but I was very unhappy with the last chapter. I had the whole plot in my head but eventually decided to cut things short and after posting it, I felt that it lacked proper build-up to this point of the plot. So I was annoyed with myself and took a break and started writing something else to take my mind off it, give it some time and not get frustrated with this fic but then I needed more time to ease back into it (Which also made me reread the whole fic from the start and I honestly thought I need more proofreading. I found so many mistakes, I don't know why people keep up with me, I'm so sorry :D)
> 
> This chapter centers around Eren (the first part is really just... you know...) - we haven't really had a good insight into his thoughts so far and you might realize that his thoughts and ideas of Levi may actually differ from reality here and there (since you know Levi's perspective) and I honestly think... that's normal. We can't look into the head of another person and Eren is younger and simplifies things sometimes, is impulsive and he makes Levi out to be something bigger than life and isn't as confident about their relationship as it might seem - I'm not saying that's a general trait in young people, really not, but sometimes love does that to someone.  
> For me, Eren is someone erratic and he has indulged in the dynamic of the relationship, where Levi was 'taking over' and handled things but he had a bad wake up call and tries to get shit done now in his own, stupid, irrational, carefree, jumpy way. That doesn't mean that Eren isn't able to reflect and I wanted to display his emotional intelligence.  
> Well let's just say, it was hard to get that all together. But I think I'm okay with this chapter *lol* And I hope you can enjoy it too.
> 
> Thanks for all the lovely comments I got during this mini-hiatus, it was motivating and lovely and you're simply the absolute best :)

He’s met with silence when he enters the apartment and when he doesn’t receive a reply to his greetings, his heart starts to jump in his chest.  
Eren is gone.  
Levi makes a quick search through the few rooms he has, not finding the boy and when he sits down on the couch, he’s not sure whether to cry or scream.  
Eren is gone.

He kicks himself mentally and gets up again, walking through the apartment a second time and he’s forcing the panic down, forcing the fears and the blind fury down to make way for rational thinking.  
The kids toiletries are in the bathroom, his clothes in his drawer and his notebook sits on the table in the living area, waiting for its owner to come back and open it.  
Eren is not gone, he’s just not _here_.

When the brats voicemail answers him on the phone, he curses at nothing and everything and flings the device on the couch to stomp over to his computer and check for the schedule of Eren’s lectures, only to find out that the boy should be home since hours and worries and fear surge up inside of him with new vigor, while he starts to chastise himself.  
He had time, so fucking much time, since he brought the kid in and while he still thinks that all their numerous conversations have been important, he can’t understand why he hadn’t been more insistent with a few of his questions, why he had ignored with open eyes, that Eren left complete topics out of their talks and why he hadn’t been more alert of Reiner. Looking back at it now, he starts to wonder just how naïve he actually is.

After visiting the asshole with Erwin, he had indulged in enjoying his time with the boy, in starting their relationship as a couple, while the blonde asshole had _weeks_ to arm himself with whatever information was out there, to use it against Eren and Levi had not known shit, doesn’t know much now either, doesn’t know what to do, even though he always paints a picture of confidence for the brat.

Thinking back to all their conversations and how he reassured Eren, how he told him they’ll solve his problems together, without even knowing half of them, makes him feel like a fool now and he can’t decide whether to be angry with the young man for keeping all these things from him, or worried because the brat isn’t _here_.

Levi tries to stay calm, while he dials Eren’s number again and again and _again_ , to no avail, checks for messages, e-mail, a written note, anything from the kid that tells him where the hell he could be but finds nothing and it gets harder and harder to dismiss the horror scenarios his brain conjures with more and more insistence.  
An accident maybe – any hospital or ambulance would certainly call Eren’s family, rather than him and Mikasa probably wouldn’t get in touch with him, considering that all love seems to be lost between them.  
It’s not a good prospect but better than imagining that Reiner has snatched the brat from the street in broad daylight or another client went rampage or that Eren has done something stupid and actually tried to seek Reiner out and talk with the brute.  
He’s not that stupid, is he?

He isn’t. Eren is a smart kid but it’s not a matter of intelligence, rather than pride and shame and the undying belief that he can and has to solve matters on his own. He would have told Levi about his father if things were different but apparently there is still a part inside of the young man that is convinced that he has to clean up after himself without the help of his partner.  
His partner, who is sitting at home, out of his mind with worry, and starts looking up hospitals in the city while he drops his friends a message, telling them that Eren isn’t here.

He calls every medical facility he can think of, starting with those close to the campus and increasing his radius but after an hour of talking with strangers, only to receive the same answer over and over again, nesting like a mantra inside of his head, he gives up.  
Eren is not here. Eren is not there. Eren isn’t anywhere.

Hange is the first to arrive at his place, loaded with questions like ‘ _What do you mean, he isn’t here?_ ’ and Levi explains to the best of his abilities that the brat should be home, that he can’t reach him, can’t find him and most of all, can’t stop being worried with the new knowledge that is looming over him since the morning – courtesy of Erwin.

Said friend arrives soon after and his calm and collected presence is helping Levi to finally come to his senses and to stop pacing the apartment like a frightened animal.  
“I suggest that Hange stays here, in case he shows up and we have a look at Eren’s apartment.”  
“Why would he…”, the confusion in Levi’s face turns into bitterness and anger at the implication that the kid is at his own place, working behind his back, _fucking_ someone behind his back but Erwin is quick to read his thoughts and raises his hand in a peaceful gesture.  
“Levi… He might have tried to get some more clothes, books for his lectures or water the plants. I’m just saying he could be there and if he is, he might have run into someone. We should make sure.”  
“Right…”, he deflates a little when anger is immediately overwritten with anxiety again, while he nods to himself and Hange gives him a sympathetic pat on the back.

“Let’s go then. Hange, I think you should call the hospitals in the city again, in case something has changed.”  
The lunatic salutes with false cheer at Erwin’s request and Levi can see right through it but appreciates the gesture all the same, the look in Hange’s eyes that says “We will find out. It’s going to be okay.”.  
Levi isn’t sure about that. The whole situation just shows how much their relationship is lacking in every possible department.  
He can’t reach Eren, he doesn’t have a single number of his friends or family, doesn’t know anyone from his lectures. There is _nobody_ who could give him any answers, besides the blonde barkeeper at Sina.

He takes a look at his watch, when the sudden realization hits him, to see if Armin’s shift has started already, before he turns to Erwin with new determination in his eyes, because he may not have Armins number, but he can search for the contact information of the bar. “I think I have an idea who we could ask. Let’s check Eren’s place, I’ll call the workplace of one of his friend on the way.”

In the future, he’ll forever ask himself, if this is the very moment that made him think that there might be something bigger than himself out there, or that there is something like psychic abilities, because as soon as he reaches for his keys, he can hear the ringtone of his cellphone, making his whole body freeze – in shock, in relief, he doesn’t know –, before he fumbles for the device hastily, pulls it out of the pocket in his jacket and looks at the unknown number on the display.  
“Hello?”

There is a tense moment of silence on the line, faintly disrupted by voices and music here and there, before he can hear the stranger on the other end take a deep breath and a familiar voice sounds in his ear.  
“Levi…? This is… It’s Armin…”

 

~~~

 

Maybe this was a stupid idea.  
Eren is gnawing at his fingers, while he looks down the street, wondering for the hundreds time, if he should have just talked to Levi, instead of trying to solve this on his own, but then again, Levi doesn’t listen. He probably doesn’t have to, because he always knows the best thing to do all by himself and Eren admires it, truly, but this time Levi doesn’t have all the information and Eren wants to keep it that way. It’s enough of a miracle, that his boyfriend accepts that he had a promiscuous, _illegal_ part-time job, but he doesn’t want to push his luck, doesn’t want to push the fragile connection between them, just wants it all to go away.

That someone like Levi happened to him, is a bit of a miracle for Eren. The man has some temper, can be stubborn and he has moments when words seem to fail him but all in all he is composed, mature and even if impatient, he was always willing to wait for Eren to make the next step.  
He had known – back then – that he opened Pandora’s box in her first night. Knew it when Levi had called him the following day to talk about sexual orientation – one of the only moments Eren has seen him to be truly clueless about what to do, that and the day he found him after a visit from Reiner – but Levi is like the flame of a beautiful candle. Playing with it could have burned him or extinguish the light, but he couldn’t help himself to want to reach out with his fingers.

So, he did. He knows he’s not always the brightest at times but he had understood fairly quickly, that he was hurting him, that Levi was searching for something, that he wanted something and it had taken time for Eren to be sure, that it was him, not an idea of his person, conjured by intimate moments and the perfect harmony of their bodies. Levi had wanted _him_ and had given him the time and patience that Levi is always willing to give him, because Levi gives him everything if only he asks for it.  
It’s powerful and frightening and almost surreal and it’s insane to remember just to what extend Levi was willing to suffer and hurt himself for Eren, who wasn’t oblivious to Levi’s desire for self-destruction, even if he doesn’t always know what’s going on in the older mans head.

He is himself with Levi and he knows that the man changed him, that he changed his boyfriend too. He knows, that he is erratic sometimes, that he doesn’t think things through, that he behaves stupid and possessive and careless, but Levi sees right through it and understands, that he’s insecure.  
There’s probably nothing wrong with that, Eren is younger than Levi and he doesn’t feel guilty about being less grounded than the older man but being able to show it feels good and Levi takes it all in, doesn’t reprimand him, always just tries to understand.  
He tries to understand why Eren was telling Petra things just for the sake of antagonizing her, without knowing a single thing about the woman, he tries to understand why Eren chose his job, why he wanted to go back to work a few weeks ago, despite their growing relationship, why he has such a twisted relationship with Reiner.

Levi never judges and Eren can admit in front of him, that he’s clueless and scared sometimes, because there’s no need to put on a smile – not for Levi. He will listen and wait and meet him halfway when Eren is ready and after two years of making everyone believe that he’s in control of his life, that he’s the embodiment of self-confidence, a seducer, a minx, it’s nice to curl up on Levi’s couch and be a frightened kid sometimes without getting laughed at, just hugged and encouraged and motivated to take another step forward.

The impact of their relationship on Levi’s behavior is beautiful to watch and Eren can only imagine, that this is who the older man has always been, before he got problems with his wife and started to question his sexuality, his judgement and his sanity – before Eren met him at a bus stop, with Levi at his lowest.  
He’s confident and stern, in control but not noisy about it.  
Levi doesn’t brag, it’s not in him. Levi just acts in all conscience, careful and precise in whatever he does and when the words don’t come to him he shows how he feels instead and Eren knows, that most people don’t have the privilege to see Levi that way, the private person that he is.  
Not to him though, with him he is open and honest, always honest, even if it’s embarrassing and cringy and Eren understands, that it is partly driven by experience, by a failed marriage but it doesn’t bother him, just warms his heart with the knowledge, that Levi wants to make sure, that this is going to have a different ending. A happy one.

And that’s why he needs to do this.  
He can’t keep going, being worried about his family, his boyfriend, fucking everything and he’s certain that Levi might actually kill Reiner, if he ever gets his hands on him, because that’s what Eren does to people, or at least he assumes it. He’s driving others to act, in the good and the worst possible sense and the one person he really doesn’t want to drive into a corner is Levi, doesn’t want this to reach a point where the man feels forced to do _something_ , not with all the love and care he has given him.

Levi is smart and mature and amazing, and he always has some sort of answer – Eren knows, that he’s probably glorifying him a little too much, can’t help it though – but he can’t solve this for him, because he doesn’t know enough and his willingness to hurt himself for Eren’s sake, proven over months and months of knowing each other, frightens him and he doesn’t want to show him yet another skeleton in his closet, no matter how understanding and patient Levi is, because imagining that Levi is eventually going to come to his senses and learn just how much stupid stuff Eren did and what a kid he is, is just as scary.  
He wants to be good for Levi, not dependent and immature and helpless.

He looks at the entrance below the neon letters of the bar and sees Armin walking through the door to start his shift, thinking that this is his best shot, because _Sina_ is safe, Armin is safe, and he really just wants to talk and be done with it. Maybe Reiner just wants something trivial like money and the longer he waits to contact him, the more inclined will his former friend be, to rat him out, rat his father out and make their life’s go to hell – his happy family included.

He’s tired of cowering behind Levi, tired of lying and hiding away from the situation, because staying at his boyfriend’s place is not going to fix anything, just delay the inevitable and he knows that he can find a way out of this. He did it in the past, he had a life before Levi, a job before Levi and hell a lot of problems too. He handled being a hooker, he managed to get his dad out of a bind and he dealt with Reiner. It wasn’t perfect, but he _did it_.

The few meters down the street are behind him after a short moment and he opens the door, taking a deep breath and feeling for the paper in the pocket of his jeans again, the business card from Levi, that is probably crumpled beyond recognition by now.

“Eren!”  
“Hi Armin…”, he forces a smile on his lips, that his friend can’t see for what it is, because he’s still busy with checking the register and open orders and Eren takes it as his cue to sit down at his usual place  at the bar and wait.  
Looking at his phone reveals, that Levi should be home since twenty minutes and the first worried messages drop in, adding to the missed calls from the man, but he ignores them for now, just opens a text message to someone entirely different and starts writing.

 “To what do I owe the honor? Another inquisition incoming?”, Armin puts a beer down in front of him and he grabs it almost on autopilot before he stops himself for a second.  
He needs to be as sober as possible for this.  
When he starts moving again, not to arouse suspicion in his friend, he takes the tiniest sip, still licks his lips as if he just gulped down half of the glass and finally shakes his head.  
“Just wanted to see you. Since when do I need a reason to come?”  
Armin rolls his eyes and sticks his tongue out. “Suit yourself.”

“I, uh…”, he fiddles with the paper for a moment, when he tries to pull it from his pocket and puts it at the counter in front of his friend in the next moment. “I got you Levi’s business card. I wrote his private number on it too.”  
“Why should I want his number?”, a blonde brow is rising while Armin is crossing his arms in front of his chest and Eren heaves a sigh.  
“I thought… You never know. Just in case something… happens?”  
“Is something going to happen?” He bites his lip, getting a little impatient with the man and just shoves the card the rest of the way.  
“No, I don’t know. Just in case. Just take it Armin.”

He gets another glare, thinking that the inquisition is damn well going on, just that Eren isn’t the one asking the questions, but Armin sighs eventually and grabs the small piece of paper to glide it gently into his own pocket.  
“All right, whatever you say…”

The minutes tick by, Eren makes small talk, Armin knows it’s bullshit but doesn’t prod and Eren wonders why he has nothing of meaning to say to his longtime friend all of a sudden.  
Maybe because Armin knows only half the truth, just like Levi – the other half though – and maybe Eren deserves what’s coming for him, that things fall on his own feet again and he has to walk through his own shit, because despite preaching honesty and an open mind, he isn’t truthful, not ever, not _completely_.  
He doesn’t know when it started, just knows that he hasn’t always been like this but he made decisions at some point, when nobody else was willing to and no matter what happens, Eren has always persevered with stubborn determination.

When his phone keeps buzzing in his pants, he ignores it, knowing that it’s either Levi and he won’t answer – not yet – or someone else and it doesn’t need his attention.  
Most likely it’s Reiner, because he wrote him a few minutes ago to meet him but no matter what the man is going to tell him in his texts, he knows he is going to come either way.

It takes almost twenty minutes. Twenty long, torturous minutes, before the door opens and Eren prays that it’s not Levi, just like he prayed every single time before when someone came in, and the blonde man walks to the counter, a surprised look on is face, as if he didn’t expect any of this to happen, didn’t expect him to be here.  
“Wow, didn’t know I’d see you today!”  
Armin waves, Eren swallows bile and tries his best to hide it and Reiner slips onto the barstool next to him, greeting the small blonde behind the counter and Eren knows, that he just made another huge mistake.

It’s creepy and terrifying to be here, because now that he looks at the man, the acquaintance, the former friend, his mind conjures pictures of Reiner, pressing him into the mattress, hitting him, hurting him, laughing at him and to morph these visions with the smiling hulk, who’s playing an Oscar worthy performance right now is almost impossible, but Eren knows.  
He knows who the man is, he knows that something is wrong with him and he honestly can’t even tell from where the sudden obsession originates because Reiner has used, has _abused_ him for a long time but it happened rarely and his newfound interest in Eren is illogical but then again it may really just have been Levi’s and Erwin’s visit and the idea that something is broken in Reiner’s head and that he’s acting like a cornered animal that lashes out, is all that Eren has left to hold onto.  
If Reiner isn’t the least bit scared, then Eren’s fears spike all the more with the knowledge that all that’s driving the blonde man is inhumanity.

Armin skitters away, and the spotlight is on him now, as well as a hand, that’s grabbing his knee when Reiner leans in and the absurdity of it all just hits Eren again. He isn’t as strong as Reiner, but he isn’t weak either and just as tall and the only reason that he always woke up bruised and damaged, while Reiner just carried some scratches that he wore like tiger stripes, like scars from a heroic war, is because Eren had let it happen.  
“Don’t.”  
It doesn’t sound very convincing, but it still makes him feel better, that he said it and Reiner cocks a brow, even has the decency to remove this hand, probably fearing that Eren will make a scene, because he is like that, quick and irrational, even though all guns point at his head.

“So? What gives?”  
He swallows, annoyed with himself because he feels like the insecure kid that is reserved for Levi’s couch, for Levi’s eyes and nobody else but he brought this upon himself, invited Reiner here to talk about it and that was probably suicidal by itself, but he values his life enough to not taunt the man now.  
“I thought we could talk.”  
Reiner just snorts at his words and Eren furrows his brows. “Why is that funny?”  
“What could we possibly talk about, after you sent the police to my house?”

 _Ah…_  
“I didn’t.”, he offers as an olive branch. “I didn’t go to the police, they were not… real police.”  
Reiner listens now, which is probably a good sign, but he also knows a part of the truth now, which is probably bad, judging by the satisfied grin on his lips, and Eren ignores it, just presses on.  
“There must be something you want from me. Just… just tell me what you want from me.”

The blonde is silent for a long moment and he wonders if all his fears will come true now, if Reiner just wants to fuck with him, with his head, just wants to ruin him and everything that’s dear to him and it’s truly miraculous, that the only thing that shows Eren’s nerves, is his knee, that’s bobbing up and down in front of him.  
Reiner is so _normal_. There is no cruel expression, no malicious laughter and if Eren wouldn’t have worn the bruises and wounds from the man, he would doubt his sanity right now, asking himself if he made it all up, but he didn’t.  
There is something to the man, that he always managed to hide well, only ever showed in the cursed room, when he threw Eren into the sheets, molded him into what he wanted and left him at his mercy.

“Just wanted to make sure that you know your place.”  
New hope perks up inside of him, while Reiner is still eyeing him. “Do you know your place?”  
It’s an odd question. Really odd and Eren doesn’t know how to answer, if it should be yes or no, if Reiner just wants him to keep his mouth shut or if he wants to get rid of the problem called “Eren” and he proceeds with caution. “What… is my place?”

“Look, you want this to go away? Then let’s get out of here and talk somewhere else.”  
The blonde still looks as always, still smiles, still waves at Armin when his friend shoots them a look from the distance, as if he has a special sense for hookers in distress but Eren finds all of him – his eyes, his mouth, his hands – cruel and he’d swear in front of the angels on doomsday, that there is nothing but the promise of violence in Reiner’s face.  
Going with him is wrong and impossible but not leaving with him isn’t an option either – it would mean _not knowing his place_ – and he wonders just how bad it can get.  
It’s sick to weigh the potential physical pain against the mental one, against the constant anxiety that everything is going to come crashing down, but it’s the only option he has and thinking about it makes him become strangely detached from it all, himself, his body, just like when he worked, to make space for a list of pros and cons in his mind.

Reiner isn’t going to kill him. He isn’t, Eren is sure of that and he thinks that he can handle everything else, as long as the man doesn’t keep digging in his past and threatening the people in his life.  
He’s still thinking it through, but nods already – thoughts about the safety of the environment, of _Sina_ , of Armin already pushed aside in yet another impulsive decision – and it’s enough time for the other to wave to Armin again and beckon him to come over, enough time for his best friend to get a look at Eren’s expression, before the finality of it all hits him and he comes back to reality where Reiner gets up, the bill already settled and the small blonde man in front of him gestures in confusion.

“Everything alright?”  
He nods, smiles for Armin, knowing that he can’t fool him, doesn’t even want to, just wants to act normal in front of Reiner, who’s standing behind him, while Armin can see it all, read it all and he’s hoping, praying, _begging_ that his friend – the smart and observant one – remembers his words despite all the stupid small talk they made and the emptiness in their earlier words.  
_Just in case something happens_.

He grabs his jacket and needs a lot more time than necessary, to slip into it, simultaneously feeling the burning glare on the back of his head and the worried stare from Armin, who’s searching his eyes for answers and before he turns around, leaves, walks to his own demise – that he ran towards without planning, only fueled by trepidation and emotion, not ever putting a single _rational_ thought into it – Reiner can hear Armin say “See you later.”, while Eren mouths hidden words at his best friend, driven by the almost forgotten instinct of self-preservation, without making the slightest noise.

_‘Call Levi.’_


End file.
